


The Good Place

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - The Good Place (TV) Fusion, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Memory Alteration, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Psychological Torture, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 70,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27515023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: When Theo dies suddenly, he finds himself in the Good Place. A place that he early on realizes he doesn’t belong. He convinces Liam, his supposed soulmate, to help him learn how to be good so that he can remain in the Good Place, and not risk being caught and sent to the Bad Place. The more time he spends with Liam, the closer the two get, and he finds himself falling for him. That’s the least of his problems though, because the longer Theo stays, the more things start to go wrong. Until one night he figures a secret about where they are, and their afterlives only get crazier from there.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31
Collections: Thiam Big Bang 2020 Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2020 Thiam Big Bang. This fic was such an endeavor, but I had so much fun with it. A huge thanks to Ara for being the most amazing beta and offering her time to read over this for me, and Manon for being my ghostly cheerleader.  
> AND the biggest shout out to Cai, who made some phenomenal art for the fic. You can find it [here.](https://theowhy.tumblr.com/post/634724909303709696/im-so-excited-to-share-my-pieces-for) Go shower her with all the love.
> 
> This is an AU for the show The Good Place, so if you haven't seen it and want to avoid spoilers I'd avoid it.

[Art by the amazing Cai](https://theowhy.tumblr.com/)

* * *

Theo opens his eyes. He looks calmly around the nice, well lit room. Written on the wall in front of him in huge green letters is:

**WELCOME! EVERYTHING IS FINE.**

He smiles a little at that. His attention shifts when a door opens and a man walks out. He’s in a nice suit that looks expensive even from here. He smiles kindly. “Theo. Come in.”

Theo stands up and follows the man into his office. It’s neat and orderly and not a speck of dust. He settles across the desk while the man checks a clipboard. 

“Hi Theo, I’m Bobby. How are you?”

“I’m great,” Theo says. “Thank you for asking. One question: Where am I, and who are you, and what’s going on?”

“Right. So, you, Theodore Raeken, are dead. Your life on Earth has ended, and you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe.”

He stares at Bobby placidly for a moment, before speaking. “Cool. I have some questions.”

“Thought you might,” Bobby says. 

“How did I die?” Theo asks. “I don’t remember.”

“Yes, in cases of traumatic, embarrassing, or sudden death, we erase the memory, which can be upsetting,” Bobby tells him. “Are you sure you want to hear it?”

Theo nods and Bobby checks his clipboard again. “You were in a grocery store parking lot. You dropped a box of low-calorie fudge cookies, and when you bent over to pick it up, a long column of shopping carts that were being returned to the shopping cart collection area rolled out of control and ploughed into you.” 

“Oof,” Theo says. “That’s how I died?”

As far as deaths go, death by shopping cart had never been something Theo had considered. 

Bobby goes on, “No, sorry. There’s more. You were able to grab onto the front of the column of shopping carts, but it swept you out into the street, where you were struck and killed, by a mobile billboard truck advertising an erectile dysfunction pill called ‘Engorge-ulate.’”

Theo stares at him for a moment, before busting out into laughter. “That’s awful.”

“It’s not great,” Bobby agrees. “Funnily enough, the first EMT to arrive was an ex-boyfriend of yours…”

“Okay, that’s… I get it. Thank you.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry.”

“So,” Theo says, changing the subject. “Where exactly am I? Is the whole heaven or hell thing right or…?”

“Well, not in the way that you were raised on,” Bobby tells him.

“Okay.”

“But generally speaking, in the afterlife there is a Good Place and a Bad Place.” He pauses, looking at Theo, and Theo holds his breath, waiting. It feels like an eternity before Bobby speaks again. “You’re in The Good Place.”

Theo exhales sharply. To say that’s a surprise would be a bit of an understatement. But he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“You’re okay, Theo,” Bobby says. “You’re in The Good Place.”

Theo smiles, relieved. “Good. That’s good.”

“Sure is. Now! You’re going to have a million more questions. Or actually,” he checks the checks clipboard, “You’ll have 6,208 more questions.”

“How detailed is that thing?” Theo asks, craning his head to try and get a look.

“All will be answered in due time, I promise,” Bobby tells him. “For now, please come this way.”

They find themselves outside, strolling down a beautifully manicured path. There are a lot of flowers, and a lot of fountains lining the streets and buildings they pass. Theo can’t remember ever being in a neighborhood this clean or nice. He tries to push off the feeling of being out of place as Bobby gives the tour. 

“There’s a lot of frozen yogurt places here,” Theo comments. It’s almost like the Starbucks on every street corner in the city. 

“Oh yeah,” Bobby says. “We have one in every neighborhood. People love their frozen yogurt.”

“Neighborhood?” Theo questions.

“Right, yes. Neighborhood. So The Good Place is divided up into distinct neighborhoods. Each one contains exactly 322 people who have been perfectly selected to blend together into blissful harmonic balance.”

“Do all the neighborhoods look like this?” Theo asks.

“No, every neighborhood is unique. So some have cold weather, some warm. Some are cities, some farmland. But in each one, each blade of grass, every butterfly, every detail has been precisely designed and calibrated for its residents. Except for the frozen yogurt. Those are in all the neighborhoods.”

“Because people love frozen yogurt,” Theo says.

“Exactly. Now you’re going to have a million more questions,” Bobby says. “I know. But for now you better take a seat. The movie’s about to begin.”

“Movie?”

Bobby walks towards the stage set up in the middle of a grassy field, leaving Theo to find a seat in the crowd. 

And this is how Theo’s time in the afterlife begins. Watching a movie that looks like something that’s been sent out for a corporation to try and brainwash their employees into thinking everything is great and their job is awesome. But this is The Good Place, right? So surely there’s no brainwashing going on here. 

He tries to focus on the movie, but he can’t help getting distracted, first by the butterflies flying around them, and then he looks to the people in the crowd. They look normal enough, he supposes. Every single one of them seems to be intently focused on the screen in front of them.

Then when Bobby steps up to the microphone and gives his speech to welcome them, they clap politely. It’s so… orderly. Not exactly what he thought his afterlife would be. Though truthfully he hadn’t expected much of anything. He thought one day he’d cease to exist and that would be that. Most of the people he knows told him he’d probably wind up in Hell. 

Yet here he is, in The Good Place. Somehow, despite all his misdeeds, he’d made it here. 

“Now,” Bobby says, striding up to him with a grin. “It’s time to show you where you’ll be living.”

“Great,” Theo says, getting to his feet. They walk down the street, past mansions and expensive looking houses. Theo waits for Bobby to stop in at one of them, but he doesn’t. He keeps walking, only to stop outside a tiny house quite a distance away from the others. 

“Well, here we are,” Bobby says. He brandishes the key with a grin. “Your new home.”

To say that Theo is a little disappointed about the size of the house is an understatement. But he tries to tell himself that it doesn’t matter. The inside could be better. It’s not. 

“Wow,” Theo says, looking around the house. “It’s uhhh…”

“Perfect, right?” Bobby says. “We took note of all your likes and dislikes and tried to put together something perfectly you.”

That sends yet another alarm bell going off in Theo’s head. This house is supposed to be perfect for him? _This_? With all its white walls and minimalist furniture. Hell, the couch doesn’t even look like it’d be comfortable to sit on. And the bed… it’s up on some other level of the house and from what Theo can see there aren’t even stairs to get to it.

Still, he does his best to smile. “I’m speechless.”

“I thought you would be,” Bobby says. “Now one more thing, Kira!”

Theo jumps when a woman suddenly appears next to Bobby. “Hi! I’m Kira!”

“Hi?”

“Kira here is the source of all information and knowledge for you humans here in The Good Place,” Bobby tells him.

“Cool,” Theo says.

“And she can bring you any object you request,” Bobby goes on. “Just ask for it, and you got it.”

Theo has to admit, that is pretty neat. And convenient. “So if I wanted pizza, she could bring me pizza?”

“Essentially,” Bobby says. “Anything you need, just says Kira’s name and she’ll be there.”

“Neat.”

“Thank you Kira, I think we’re good for now.” And just like that, Kira is gone as fast as she came. Bobby turns his attention back to Theo. “Well, I’ll leave you to get settled. But I’ll be back later to introduce you to some very special people.”

“Great,” Theo says. “Can’t wait.”

Once Bobby is gone Theo looks around the house again and sighs. He falls back onto the couch and then winces. Just as he thought. Not the least bit comfortable.

“Mother forker.”

Theo frowns. That hadn’t been what he meant to say. “Fork. Fork. Shirt. Bench. Ash.” Theo shuts his mouth, realization dawning on him. He can’t curse here. “What the fork?”

* * *

Theo does manage to get a nap in. Because apparently even though he’s dead, he still gets tired. He’s just woken up and was debating finding some food when a knock sounds on his door. He goes to open it, not the least bit surprised to see Bobby there. He’s not alone. 

“Afternoon, Theo,” Bobby says, walking inside when Theo steps back to let him in. The others follow. “I wanted to introduce you to some of your neighbors. This Danny, Scottsani, and Liam.”

“Hello,” the one Bobby pointed to as Danny says. “I’m Danny Mahealani. It’s so nice to meet you.”

“Yeah you too man,” Theo says. “And you guys.”

“Scottsani doesn’t speak,” Bobby tells him. “He’s a monk who has taken a vow of silence.”

“Right,” Theo says. “Cool.” He turns to the last man in the room. “Do you speak?”

“Yeah,” Liam says. “I’m Liam.”

“Liam is your soulmate,” Bobby tells him.

“My what?” Theo asks, sure he’s heard wrong.

“Your soulmate,” Bobby repeats. “Your souls are perfectly made for each other.”

Theo eyes Liam. He’s cute, he supposes. He has shaggy dirty blond hair and glasses. Not usually the kind of guy Theo would go for, but that’s only because guys like Liam would normally tell Theo to fork off. Wait, are his thoughts censored too? That’s some bullshirt. He fights the urge to face palm, and smiles. “I umm…”

“Speechless again?” Bobby guesses. 

“Yeah,” Theo says. “I’m pretty speechless. I just never expected to have a soulmate.” Mostly because he never thought he had a soul. “So this is a lot to take in.”

“It was for me too,” Liam says. “Though I think the idea is fascinating. How two souls can be meant to be together and exist in perfect harmony.”

“Exactly,” Bobby says, grinning between them. It looks a little manic, but Theo shrugs it off. Bobby’s an energetic guy. He’s bound to be a little manic sometimes. “Perfect harmony. I’m sure you two are going to love getting to know each other, and will have so many things in common. Just as Danny and Scottsani do.”

“Yes,” Danny says. “This is going to be so wonderful. And I do hope you’ll both come to the party I’m throwing tonight to welcome everyone to the neighborhood.”

“Sounds great,” Theo says. “I love parties.”

“Wonderful,” Bobby says. “And one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“You and Liam will be living here together,” Bobby says, smiling as he looks between them. “Isn’t that wonderful?”

Liam smiles and Theo does his best to smile back. It’s not that he doesn’t like the idea of living with his soulmate. In theory, he should. But he barely knows the guy. And this house is small. Still, he has to trust that this is what the universe wanted. Him and Liam together for whatever reason. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

A lot of things can go wrong, apparently. The world can literally start to fall apart. First, it’s a giraffe walking around the neighborhood. Which sure, would seem odd on earth. But up here Theo’s not so sure. Except, everyone is freaking out about it. Giraffe’s don’t belong here. 

Then, something happens when people are taking their flying lessons. Because apparently people can fly here. _Fly_. It’s awesome and a little crazy. But then something goes wrong and people start knocking into each other and falling and… it’s not pretty. 

Bobby is noticeably tense about the whole thing, but keeps assuring everyone that everything is fine. Most people buy it and carry on. What could possibly be wrong in The Good Place? 

Theo knows exactly what the problem is. It’s pretty darn obvious. Apparently he’s not the only one, because this morning he found a note on his table reading:

_You don’t belong here._

Theo panics. He can’t help it. He’s been putting the pieces together himself, but to have someone just outright say it is something different. So when Liam walks into the living room from the kitchen Theo does the only reasonable thing he can do, he shoves the paper into his mouth.

“What are you doing?” Liam asks, eyeing him curiously.

“Nothing,” Theo says.

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Liam says. “You just shoved something into your mouth.”

“I’m eating,” Theo says, and to prove his point he starts chewing on the paper. It’s gross as fork, but he’s committed to this, and he’s not going to back down.

“You’re eating paper,” says Liam slowly, backing away in fear.

“I was hungry,” Theo shrugs. He continues to chew and turns away so he can hide the disgust on his face.

“So you ate paper,” Liam says. “Even though we have a whole fridge and pantry stocked with food and Kira to bring us whatever we want.”

“Hello,” Kira says, popping in.

“Hi Kira,” Liam says. “Good morning.”

“Good morning Liam,” Kira greets. “Good morning, Theo.” When all Theo does is wave, Kira tilts her head. “What are you doing?”

“He’s eating,” Liam says. “Paper.”

“Oh, okay! There is a word for that. Xylophagia. It’s a condition involving the consumption of paper, and it’s a form of the eating disorder known as pica. It usually occurs in pregnancy, or stress. You can’t be pregnant. Are you stressed, Theo?”

“Of course not,” Theo mumbles, his words coming out garbled around the paper. “Why would I be stressed? I’m in the Good Place. Everything is fine.”

“That’s right!”

“I think he might want something else to eat,” Liam says. “Maybe some pizza.”

“I can do that! What kind? Pepperoni? Sauce? Bacon? Pineapple? Peanut butter?”

Theo wrinkles his nose at the thought of peanut butter pizza. “Pepperoni is fine, Kira. But first, I’m going to go get something to drink in the kitchen.”

He makes a quick retreat, and pulls the paper from his mouth. It’s all soggy and parts of it stick to his tongue and teeth. “Gross,” he mutters, throwing it in the trash.

“If it’s so gross, then why did you eat it?” Liam asks him.

“I was curious what it tasted like,” Theo says. “We’re in The Good Place. It could have tasted like apples or something.”

Liam doesn’t look convinced, “Apple flavored paper?”

“Would that be so strange?”

“Yes,” Liam says. “Yes it would.”

Theo shrugs, “No stranger than peanut butter on pizza.”

Liam laughs, “Yeah that was a little weird. Who puts peanut butter on pizza?”

“Right?”

Kira suddenly pops up in the room, a pizza in hand. “Your pizza.”

Theo takes it with a smile, “Thank you, Kira.”

“All the ingredients are meat and dairy free,” she says. “It says in your file you were a vegan on earth.”

Theo smiles tightly, the prospect of this pizza somehow less exciting. “That’s great.”

“Can I help you with anything else?” Kira asks them.

Theo shakes his head, trying to keep the smile on his face, even as he’s screaming inside. “Nope. I think we’re fine.”

“That’s right!” Kira says, voice never losing the ever chipper quality. “Everything is fine.”

She leaves and Theo puts the pizza down on the table. Liam appears next to him with plates and two glasses of water. “I don’t usually have pizza for breakfast,” Liam says, pushing his glasses further up his nose as he takes a seat. “But this does look good.”

Theo slumps into the seat across from him, fighting to keep his thoughts to himself. Someone already thinks he doesn’t belong here. The last thing he needs is to make anyone else suspicious. But what if it was Liam that left the note?

Theo studies him across the table, watching as he cuts his pizza up with a knife and fork. No way. Liam is far too… good. He’s not the least sneaky and is probably a terrible liar. In fact, Theo doubts he’s ever told a lie in his life. That’s just the kind of person Liam seems to be. There’s no way Liam left that note. Which means someone else did. The only question is who, and just how much they know.

Whoever it is, Theo needs to find them and figure out what the heck is going on here.

Theo grabs a piece of pizza off the tray and hesitantly takes a bite. It’s not as horrible as he was expecting. It’s not amazing, either. But it’ll do. 

“Better than paper right?” Liam asks.

Theo smiles in spite of himself, “Yeah, it’s better than paper.”

“So what are your plans for today?” Liam asks.

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “I thought maybe I’d explore the neighborhood a bit. Get the feel of the place.”

“That sounds fun,” Liam says. “I was thinking of looking around myself. We should go together.”

And what is Theo supposed to say? No? Liam’s his soulmate. He’s supposed to want to spend time with him. He can’t just decline his company. “That’d be great.”

Liam nods and focuses his attention back on the food in front of him. Theo tries to do the same.

The next few days pass with no further notes or incidents. Theo thinks that maybe whoever it is has forgotten or moved on to better things. It certainly seems that way. Maybe things really will be fine here.

Then on his fifth day here, he wakes up to chaos. Again. He jolts awake, Liam doing the same thing next to him. They look towards the door, where the sound of screaming is coming from. 

“What the fork is going on?” Theo asks.

Liam shrugs, “I guess we should find out.”

They put on their shoes and step outside. People are running around screaming as something flies through the sky. As if giraffe’s weren’t bad enough. Now they have something flying. Great.

“What is that?” Liam asks squinting at it as it draws closer.

“Get inside!” Bobby shouts. “Everyone inside!”

“What’s going on?” Theo asks, as he goes running by. 

“I don’t know,” Bobby says. “But it’s all under control. I promise.”

Theo frowns. It certainly doesn’t seem like it’s under control. He looks to the sky again and gasps. Now that the thing is closer, he can see more clearly what it is. 

“Is that…?” Liam starts.

“Yeah,” Theo says. “That’s a giant piece of pizza.”

And not just any pizza. Pepperoni and peanut butter. This could totally just be a coincidence. There could be a million explanations as to why there’s a giant piece of pizza flying from the sky and... 

Theo jumps to the side and pulls Liam out of the way as a splash of peanut butter flies towards them and splatters across the spot where they were just standing.

“Inside?” Liam asks.

“Probably a good idea,” Theo says. 

They run back towards the house, dodging more peanut butter and some pieces of pepperoni. And Theo is sure that he has to be dreaming. How else could this be happening? Pieces of pizza don’t just fly through the sky.

But apparently they do in The Good Place. Just forking great. 

* * *

“So,” Bobby says, looking around at all the gathered citizens. “As you may have noticed, we had a tiny glitch today.”

 _A glitch_.

A nice way to cover it. 

“I’m unsure what exactly happened there, but I assure everything is fine, and I am on top of it.”

“Why would pizza want to kill us?” Danny asks.

“It wasn’t trying to kill anybody,” Bobby says. “It was just flying.”

“It was shooting pepperoni and peanut butter at Theo and I,” Liam says. 

Bobby frowns, “Well, that is unexpected. But I assure you, you are all perfectly safe. All we have to do is figure out what’s out of place here. What doesn’t belong. And then things will be right back to normal.”

Theo tries not to squirm in his seat. What doesn’t belong? So they know that something is here that shouldn’t be. Or more like someone. Or maybe they don’t know it’s a person. Theo can totally handle this. He just has to do something to stop himself from being discovered. Unless of course whoever knows he shouldn’t be here rats him out. 

He jumps up from his seat when Bobby dismisses them and runs towards him. “Bobby!”

“Yes, Theo!” Bobby says. “Hello. What can I help you with?”

“It’s more like how I can help _you_?” Theo questions.

Bobby raises an eyebrow, “Pardon?”

“I know you have a lot on your plate right now,” Theo says. “So I thought I’d offer to help you figure this whole thing out.”

“That’s nice of you, Theo, but I’m sure you’d rather just relax,” Bobby says.

“I will relax when I know the people here are safe and things are back to normal,” Theo says. “And besides. I like having things to do. I’m kind of going stir crazy being in the house all day.”

Bobby studies his face before a moment, “Alright. Why not? I would love some help, Theo.”

“What can I do?” Theo asks.

“Start by questioning everyone,” Bobby says. “See if they’ve noticed anything off. Besides the most recent incidents. Something that maybe seems like it doesn’t belong here.”

“Of course. We’re looking for something that shouldn’t be here.”

“Exactly,” Bobby says. “I have every faith in you to find it and report it back to me.”

Theo does his best to smile and nod, “You can trust me, Bobby.”

“I know I can,” Bobby says, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I can always depend on you, Theo. You would never do anything to jeopardize this place.”

Theo really hopes he’s able to come up with something. Otherwise he’s going to be majorly forked.

* * *

Talking to the people in the neighborhood is the worst. Most of them are boring and the most interesting thing they have to talk about is what kind of frozen yogurt they had today. Danny at least is a little more interesting. But even then he talks about his parties and how he hopes there isn’t anything majorly wrong here because he’s grown attached to his house.

“And Scottsani too, right?” Theo asks.

“Oh, of course,” Danny says. “Scottsani is great. We just… well, you know. He doesn’t talk. Which I respect. But sometimes I feel as though I’m dominating the conversation, you know? At least I know he’s a great listener. He always nods in the right places. Mostly.”

Theo nods, “That’s great. I’m glad things are going well for you.”

“And you?” Danny asks. “I’m sure you and Liam are quite cozy in that tiny house.”

Cozy is one word for it. It’s not horrible, but Theo isn’t used to sharing his space. Or his bed. At least not for sleeping. It’s been a process. But they’re slowly getting used to it. Slowly. Liam for the most part still sleeps almost completely rigid on his side of the bed. It’s amazing, given the amount Theo tosses and turns trying to get comfortable. 

And when he does sleep he’s plagued with nightmares. A voice in his head telling him he doesn’t belong here. It sounds a lot like Bobby actually. Which is unsettling. He likes the man, but doesn’t want to dream about him.

“Oh things are perfectly cozy,” Theo says. “We get along great.”

Another half-truth. They do get along mostly. But they’re still so different. Theo wasn’t exactly the best sort of person when he was alive. Okay so he was a little selfish and egotistical. And Liam… well, he’s just a nice guy. And he was a professor so he’s super smart. And honestly probably way out of Theo’s league. If there were leagues here in The Good Place. 

He supposes there’s not since he and Liam are supposed to be soulmates, after all. Or are they? If he’s not supposed to be here would Liam really be his soulmate? How does that even work? 

He’s lost in his thoughts as he walks back home. He stops to grab some of the milk he knows Liam loves before moving on his way. It’s amazing how they can be dead but still get thirsty and hungry. He’s not sure how it all works since they don’t technically have bodies, do they? Another thought that will keep him up at night. If this isn’t his real body then what is it? 

“Hey, Liam,” Theo says, walking into the house. “I got you some milk.” He shuts the door and frowns when he doesn’t immediately see Liam. “Liam? Are you home?”

No answer. Theo shrugs and walks to the kitchen and puts the milk away. Another thought. How the fork do they have electricity? 

He walks out the kitchen and jumps when Liam is suddenly there, standing in front of him. “Liam?”

“What is this?” Liam asks, holding up a piece of paper.

“Uhh paper,” Theo says. “Why? Are you thinking of taking up paper eating too?”

Liam doesn’t rise to the bait. He just glares. “What the fork is this Theo?”

Theo’s eyes widen. Liam doesn’t curse. Ever. “I don’t know. You still haven’t shown me.”

Liam shoves the paper at him and Theo looks down at it. His stomach drops. It’s another note. This one with his name. 

_You don’t belong here, Theo_.

So he can’t lie about it not being for him. That would have been too easy. No. He has to think of something else. 

“What does that mean?” Liam asks.

“I don’t know,” Theo says.

“Is there anything you do know?” Liam snaps.

He’s about to say he doesn’t know again, but holds his tongue. “Some things, but I have no idea where this note came from. Where did you get it?”

“It was sitting on the table when I came home,” Liam tells him. “It was hard to miss it.”

Theo nods. Same place as the other note. It’s strange. This means someone has been coming into their house without them noticing. 

“Did you see anyone?” Theo asks.

Liam shakes his head, “No. No one was here. Never mind who it’s from. What does it mean?”

Theo could lie. He knows he could. But he’s tired of lying. He just needs the truth to be out there. For someone to know.

“What it means,” he says. “I don’t belong here. I think I’m here by mistake.”

“What the fork?” Liam says. “You’re kidding, right? You have to be.”

“I’m not kidding,” Theo says. “I’m not supposed to be in the Good Place.”

“You’re what’s wrong here!” Liam shouts. “You're the reason this has all been happening!”

Theo grimaces, “Yeah.”

“The pizza!” Liam says. “I thought that was strange, but it makes so much more sense now. We’d just talked about peanut butter on pizza and then it appeared.”

“Yeah that’s probably not a coincidence,” Theo says.

“Not a coincidence?” Liam says. “Theo, it’s obvious that’s what it was about. And the giraffe too! You talked about how you always wanted a pet giraffe as a kid.”

“I did,” Theo says. “But I don’t know what was happening with the people flying. But I’m going to figure this out. Maybe I can fix it.”

“How?” Liam asks him. “How do you fix it when the problem is you’re not supposed to be here?”

“By becoming good,” Theo says. “Or better. If I can be a good person, someone that’s deserving of The Good Place, then maybe all of this will stop.”

“Or bad things can just keep happening,” Liam says.

“Look, I have to try,” Theo says. “And I need your help.”

“Excuse me?” Liam says. “How am I supposed to help you?”

“Because you’re the best person I know,” Theo says. “If anyone knows how to be a good person, it’s you. Which means you can teach me.”

“Teach you?”

“Yeah, teach me. You are an ethics professor, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know if I am technically anymore,” Liam says. “I did die and all.”

“I’m sure you still have all that knowledge and you’re just itching to put it to good use,” Theo says. “Come on, you have to miss teaching just a little bit.”

Liam studies his face, “I do.”

“So help me, Liam Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”

Theo puts on his best pout and Liam groans, “Oh, don’t do that. That’s just too much.”

“Then say you’ll help me,” Theo says. “Please?”

Liam sighs, “Fine. I’ll help you. But I’m a little mad at you for using the pouty face and Star Wars against me.”

Theo grins, “You won’t regret this.”

“Oh, I have a feeling I will,” Liam says. “But you are my soulmate so…” he stops, looking Theo over. “Or are you?”

“Does it matter?” Theo asks. He really hopes Liam is going to say it doesn’t. 

“I suppose not,” Liam says. “I’m still going to be stuck with you for an eternity either way.”

“That’s the spirit,” Theo says. “So where do we start?”

“Tomorrow,” Liam says. “I need some time to prepare and figure out where to start.”

Theo smiles and leans in to kiss Liam’s cheek. Liam ducks his head to hide his smile and Theo’s stomach flutters. Strange. He’s not used to feeling that about Liam.

He shakes it off and tells himself he’s just grateful. That’s all it is. It’s not as if he’s really developing feelings for Liam or anything. That would be ridiculous.

But as he looks across the room at where Liam is standing next to a table, looking over a few books, his glasses slipping down his nose, Theo realizes it might not be all that ridiculous. And if that's the case then he really is forked.


	2. Chapter 2

“So,” Liam says the next morning. “We’re going to start with the basics.”

“Got it,” Theo says. He has a notepad and pencil ready, prepared to take notes. Which is funny. He never took notes in any of his classes when he was alive. Now here he is. Things certainly do change. Which gives him a little bit of hope that maybe he can too.

Liam lectures for a few hours and then Theo has to leave. He still has to keep up appearances with Bobby, which means he needs to interview more of the neighbors. 

And that's basically his life now. Lessons with Liam and working for Bobby. He falls into a pattern of normalcy. They go a few days without a weird incident and Theo starts to think that maybe this whole thing can work. Maybe he can be good and actually belong here. 

But then he runs into Scottsani in the street. Which isn’t a bad thing in itself. What is bad is that when Scottsani runs into him he mutters out an “I’m sorry bro.”

He goes to move by and Theo’s hand shoots out, grabbing his arm. “What did you just say?”

Scottsani looks up at him with wide eyes. His mouth opens and closes, but no words come out.

“You just talked,” Theo says. “And you called me bro. I’m not sure how many monks would use that sort of language.”

“Okay you got me,” Scottsani says. He grabs Theo’s arm and pulls him down a side street towards the house he shares with Danny. Then down the hall to a room hidden in the back. Inside is a TV and a bunch of game consoles. Along with a lot of junk food. 

“What is this?” Theo asks.

“My room,” Scottsani says. “Danny doesn’t bother me here. He thinks I’m meditating or something.”

“But you’re not,” Theo says. “Who are you?”

“My name’s Scott,” he says. “Scott McCall. And I’m not a monk. I’m just a guy from Florida.”

“You’re the one that sent me the note,” Theo says. “Aren’t you?”

Scott nods, “Yeah. It was me. I figured it out, and well, I knew _I_ wasn’t supposed to be here. So I thought maybe I wasn’t alone. And I’m not.”

“So I’m not the only one causing all these problems!”

“Yeah I probably had something to do with that,” Scott says.

“Probably?”

“Look the pizza wasn’t me,” Scott says. “That shirt was weird.”

“Yeah tell me about it,” Theo says.

“And do you know what’s up with this whole cussing thing? I keep trying and everything gets changed to some weird ash shirt.”

Theo laughs, “For me too. I guess there’s no cursing in The Good Place. In your head or out loud.”

“That’s weird, right?” Scott says. “That they can censor what’s inside our heads. Do you think we’re monitored and they can read our minds?”

It’s a creepy thought, and not one Theo particularly likes. 

“We need to just focus on keeping things normal,” Theo says. “No one else can know about this. Except Liam knows.”

“Wait you told Liam?” Scott says. “Didn’t he like, freak out?”

“A little bit,” Theo says. “But he’s cool now. And he’s working on helping me be a better person.”

“Awesome,” Scott says. “Do you think he can help me?”

“Maybe,” Theo says. “I’d have to talk to him about it.”

Scott nods, “Dude I’m just glad that someone else knows and I have someone I can talk to. Being silent is hard.”

“I bet,” Theo says. “Especially around Danny. How do you not say anything to him?”

“I’ve come close a few times,” Scott admits. “Especially when he just keeps talking and talking and I start to zone out and forget that I’m supposed to be silent. But I don’t think he’d take it that well.”

“No?”

“No, he’d probably freak out,” Scott says. “But it’s cool. At least you know. And then Liam will. He’s not going to tell anybody, is he?”

“Of course not,” Theo says. “Liam is totally cool with all of this.”

* * *

“I am totally not cool with this,” Liam says. “You not belonging here is one thing. But now you’re telling me that there’s two of you? That Scott shouldn’t be here either?”

Theo nods, “Yeah but…”

“What am I supposed to do with this?” Liam asks. He paces the floor, tugging on his hair as he goes. “I don’t like lying Theo. It’s not in me to lie. I can’t…”

“I know,” Theo says. “And I’m sorry about all of this. I just…”

“What?”

“I don’t want to go to the Bad Place,” Theo says.

Liam stops his pacing and takes a few deep breaths, “I don’t want you to go to the Bad Place either.”

“But if you don’t want to lie and want to come clean, I’ll get it,” Theo says. And he would. He knows it’s asking a lot of Liam to keep this secret. Liam doesn’t lie, and here Theo is asking him to keep this massive thing to himself.

He sits heavily down on the couch next to Theo, “I’ll keep your secret. And I’ll help Scott.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Liam says. “Maybe this is what I’m meant to do. Why I was put here. So I could help you both.”

Theo’s not sure what he believes anymore, but it’s a nice thought. Part of him likes the idea of the universe wanting him and Liam to be together. Whether that’s as soulmates or some other way. They were meant to find each other.

Theo just hopes this all winds up being worth it. That he really can change. He doesn’t want to wind up dragging Liam down with him. He deserves better than that. Certainly a lot better than Theo.

The lessons continue and Theo keeps finding ways to keep Bobby off their trail. He doesn’t seem the least bit suspicious of Theo, and Theo isn’t sure whether that’s because he genuinely believes him or whether Theo’s just that good at keeping his cover. No one else in the neighborhood suspects them either. Not even when Scott starts coming to his house every morning for classes. 

It’s easy to keep a cover. He’s become friends with Liam. Of course they’d want to spend time together. It just proves that friendships can be formed even between the most different of people. Something Theo is quickly realizing here. 

Even if this all winds up blowing up in their faces at least they’ve had these last few weeks. And for the first time in a long time Theo has felt good about himself. He knows that’s mostly thanks to Liam.

He wants to belong here. He wants to believe that even after the shitty things he did when he was alive that he could deserve to be here in The Good Place. That he could be good enough for someone as good and honest as Liam. As a friend, soulmate, whatever they are. 

He might not be there yet. But he's working on it. He'll go through as many lessons with Liam as he has to in order to make this work. To somehow come out of it a better person. 

It seems impossible at first. There's a lot of not so great behavior and mannerisms ingrained into him. But as time goes on and the more time he spends with Liam, the less impossible it feels. Maybe there’s a little bit of hope that this can work out.

* * *

_“Mom?” Theo calls, walking into the quiet house. “Mom? Are you here?”_

_Nothing. Only silence. Theo knows by now that doesn’t mean anything. He puts his backpack down by the door and walks further into the house. He can smell smoke in the living room. Old and stale. It never seems to leave, no matter how much Theo tries to clean and wipe it away. It’s always there._

_Just like his mom. Though that’s more a physical thing than anything else. She hasn’t been there for him in years. His dad either. He at least has the excuse of working. His mom, well…_

_He’s not the least bit surprised when he finds her passed out in the living room. There’s a cigarette still burning in the ashtray on the table. Theo sighs and shakes his head as he walks into the room and picks the ashtray up. He puts the cigarette out and then dumps the ashes in the trash in the kitchen._

_He tells himself it won’t always be like this. He’ll find a way out. He won’t wind up like his parents, old and bitter, their only comfort coming from booze and drugs. He has dreams. He’s going to make something of himself. One day. He’s been making sure of that. He’s been hiding money away since he started working, planning for the day he’ll finally make it out of this shit town. With that thought, he moves into his room. He goes to his closet and pushes clothes out of the way, until he finds the box he keeps hidden on the top shelf. He puts it on the bed and frowns. The lock is broken._

_His heart seems to stop beating as he reaches out with shaking hands and opens the lid. There’s nothing there. Not a single cent. All his savings, everything he’s been working for, is gone. Along with that his chances of making it out._

_It’s that day that Theo learns the hard way that hope is nothing but a lie._

* * *

“You’re coming tonight, aren’t you?” Bobby asks, peering down at Theo.

“Of course,” Theo says. “You know I wouldn’t miss Greenberg’s restaurant opening.”

“It’s going to be spectacular,” Bobby says. “Greenberg has put in a lot of effort to make sure everyone gets their favorite foods.”

“Oh yeah?” Theo asks. “That’s cool. How’s he going to manage that?”

Bobby waves his hand, “Oh, it’s just a little trick of ours. A little way of giving everyone exactly what they’ve been wanting. I’m sure yours will be something delicious and cruelty free.”

Theo smiles tightly, hoping it doesn’t look as forced as it feels. “I’m sure it will.”

He’s really not looking forward to having to force down tofu whatever in front of everyone, but he will if he has to. Whatever it takes to keep his cover. 

It’s not until he’s talking to Scott that it occurs to him that there might be more for him to worry about, “What if it really gives us the food we want? You know, do you think it’ll give me Jalapeño poppers? I’ve been crazy about them, like crazy.”

“I could have Kira get you some,” Theo says.

“Oh, dude that would be awesome!” Scott says. “My bro Stiles and I used to have Jalapeño poppers all the time. I miss him.”

“Stiles was a friend?” Theo guesses.

“Yeah my _best_ friend. We’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Though I guess it’s past tense now. I wonder what he’s up to.” Scott’s face grows pensive for a moment before he looks at him with a grin. “Did you have a best friend?”

“Yeah of course,” Theo says. “Everyone has a best friend.”

In truth, Theo couldn’t actually name someone he considered his best friend. At least not in the sense most people did. He had friends, sure, but he always worked to keep people at a distance. It was safer that way. No one could screw him over if they couldn't get close to him. 

“Yeah but did you have a _best_ friend,” Scott says. “Like someone you told all your secrets to and did everything with?”

“Not really,” Theo admits. “I always thought I didn’t need anyone but myself.”

“Don’t worry bro, I’m sure there’s someone down there that misses you,” Scott says and claps him on the shoulder.

“Well, yeah, everyone loved me,” Theo says. “I’m awesome.”

“That’s the spirit,” Scott says. “Now about those Jalapeño poppers. I really think that’s what I’m going to get tonight. Or at least I hope.”

“No, you should be hoping you get anything but Jalapeño poppers,” Theo tells him. “Something tells me Scottsani wasn’t a fan.”

“Then dude was missing out,” Scott says. He tilts his head. “Wait, do you think there’s a real Scottsani? And a real Theo that was supposed to be here?”

“Oh no,” Liam says from the door to the kitchen. “Please don’t be thinking that. Because if that’s true then where are they?”

“There isn’t,” Theo says, though he’s not completely sure of that. “Of course there isn’t.”

“You sure about that?” Liam asks him.

“99% percent,” Theo says. Liam looks dubious. “Okay maybe 90, no okay 80%. Stop looking at me like that. I really can’t go any lower.”

“It’s still a high number, right?” Scott says. “I was never good at math.”

“Yeah 80% is high,” Liam says. “It’s not a great number, but I suppose it will do.”

“Good,” Theo says. “Now are you ready for tonight?”

“I guess so,” Liam says. “I’m a little nervous.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about,” Theo tells him. He rests his hands on his shoulders and ducks his head down to meet Liam’s eyes. “All you have to do is show up and eat the food they give you. You have the easy part.”

“It doesn’t seem easy,” Liam mutters. “I feel like I’m about to come out of my skin. Like Bobby will see me and know that I know something. I’m not a good liar, Theo. And for good reason. I hate it.”

“I know,” Theo says and squeezes his shoulder. “I’m sorry I’m putting you through this. I could just come clean and…”

Liam’s hand shoots up to cover his, “No! If you do that then they could send you away.”

Theo smiles, “Is that your way of saying you’d miss me?”

Liam lightly punches his shoulder. “I’m trying to be serious here, ashhole.”

“You know I use humor to defuse the tension,” Theo says.

“Yeah and as a defense mechanism,” Liam says.

Theo raises an eyebrow, “What could I possibly have to be defensive of?”

“You're scared of being vulnerable,” Liam says. “That was easy to figure out. I don’t know why, or what happened to make you afraid to let people get close to you, but I think most of this bluster is just to protect yourself from being hurt.”

Theo swallows and drops his hands and takes a few steps back. He can’t meet Liam’s eyes. “Well, I guess you’ve figured out the great enigma that’s Theo Raeken.”

Liam sighs, “There you go. Doing it again.”

“It’s not something I can just stop,” Theo says.

Liam steps closer and shoves his chest, not hard, but it still surprises Theo. “I know that. But with everything I’m risking for you, I think the least you could do is talk to me. Be _real_ with me. Let me know who I’m risking my eternity for.”

It’s not a big ask. At least to normal people. But for Theo? It’s hard. “Look, it’s not because I don’t want to let you in. You’re right, you do deserve to know me. But I am scared, okay? And with good reason.”

“What’s that?”

“Because everyone that I’ve ever cared about has left,” Theo says. “Or let me down. I have never been enough for people. Anyone. Not my friends and definitely not my parents.”

“Theo…”

“No,” Theo says, shaking his head. “You wanted the real Theo, Liam. And this is it. And I’m a forking mess.”

Liam puts his hand on Theo’s cheek and Theo holds his breath, “I think you’re beautiful, and strong, and amazing.”

“Liam…”

“I’m serious,” Liam whispers. “I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I can see the strength in you.”

“I don’t feel strong right now,” Theo mutters.

Liam smiles, “You are. And I promise I’ll be here to remind you of just how much if you ever forget it.”

“You can’t make that promise,” Theo says. “We don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“I know that I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you stay here,” Liam says. “Because no matter who you were when you were alive, the man I’m looking at right now is good and deserves a chance at being even better.”

“You really believe that?”

“I do.”

“So are you two going to kiss now or what?”

They both turn to see Scott sitting on the couch, watching them. “You’ve really been here this whole time?” Liam asks.

“Yeah, where else would I be?” Scott asks.

“Your home,” Theo says. “Where you live.”

“But we were all talking,” Scott says. “And then you two got all intense and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“We weren’t intense,” Liam says.

Scott laughs, “Uh yeah you were dudes. You kept getting close and staring at each other like you were about to kiss. So are you?”

“No!” Liam and Theo shout together. 

“Especially not with you here,” Liam says.

“So you’d kiss him if I wasn’t here?” Scott asks.

Liam sputters, his face turning slightly redder as he pushes his glasses further up his nose. Theo can’t help but find it adorable. “Just go, please.”

Scott raises his hands and gets to his feet, “Right. So you two can get to the kissing and _whatever_ _else_.” 

He winks and Liam sighs, “There isn’t going to be any kissing!”

Theo leans against the desk and studies Liam, “There could be, if you wanted.”

Liam narrows his eyes and jabs a finger into his chest, “Stop deflecting.”

Theo catches his hand before he can move back, and pulls him forward. Liam stumbles but Theo steadies him, pulling him in until he’s flush against his chest. “I’m not deflecting.”

Truthfully, kissing Liam is something he’s thought about more than a few times. He can’t help it. He’s cute, and smart and all the things that the old Theo never would have fallen for. Because he didn’t think he deserved them. Part of him still doesn’t think he does. But it still doesn’t take the longing away.

Liam looks up at him with wide eyes, “What are you doing?”

“Not deflecting,” Theo says quietly. He brings his other hand up to Liam’s face and pushes his glasses up and smiles. “You want to know what I see when I look at you?”

“What?”

“Someone who shines as bright as the sun,” Theo says. “Whether it’s your smile or how you light up when you talk about something you're passionate about or your kindness. You just radiate warmth, Liam. It draws me in like a moth to flame, beckoning me closer, and I’m not sure what to do with that. Because you’re this beautiful, wonderful shining light in the darkness, and sometimes I feel like the darkness is threatening to eat me alive.”

“I won’t let it,” Liam whispers. “If I’m the light in the darkness, then I won’t let it get you. Ever.”

Theo smiles and leans down, brushing their noses together, “I could never deserve someone like you.”

Liam’s hands clench against his shirt, wrinkling it, but Theo can’t be bothered to care. “You do,” Liam murmurs. “You do.”

Theo can’t take it anymore. He kisses him. He kisses him like a man starving for air and Liam is his only source of oxygen. The only thing that can keep him going. A funny thought since they’re both dead. But there’s no other way to describe it. 

“Theo,” Liam mumbles against his lips. “Theo. Theo. Theo!”

Theo startles, his eyes opening wide as he sits up, looking around the room. Liam’s looking down at him with a frown. “You okay?”

Theo looks around. He’s on the floor. How did he get on the floor? “What happened?”

Liam sighs, “Scott was about to leave and when he opened the door a book flew in and hit you in the head and knocked you out.”

“I don’t remember that,” Theo says.

“I’d say you might have a concussion, but I don’t know if those are possible here,” Liam muses.

Theo sighs and runs a hand down his face. His head feels fine. It’s spinning a bit, but that’s more from the vision he’d just had. Was it a dream? A hallucination? He’s not sure. All he knows is that it had felt _very_ real, and he finds himself disappointed that it hadn’t been.

Though that’s probably for the best. Getting involved with Liam right now would just complicate things. He does have to know one thing though. “Did we talk?”

“We were talking before you got knocked out,” Liam says. “Why?”

“Did we talk about deflecting?” Theo says.

Liam raises an eyebrow, “You mean how you’re always doing it? Yeah.”

“Right,” Theo says. “What was the last thing we said?”

“You were talking about the darkness threatening to eat you alive,” Liam says. He smirks. “You also said _I_ was the light in the darkness.”

“I was talking in general,” Theo says.

Liam nods, the smirk not leaving his face. “Of course.”

So he had said all that stuff and gotten far too vulnerable with Liam. Great. At least things don’t seem to be awkward. But Liam doesn’t know that Theo imagined them kissing.

“We should probably go,” Theo says.

“Probably,” Liam says. “Who knows? The world could fall apart if we’re not there.”

Theo raises an eyebrow when Liam links his arm through his, but Liam just smiles. Theo shakes his head. “Considering I’m the one causing it to fall apart in the first place it might actually be safe without me there.”

“We’re working on that,” Liam says as they make their way out the door and down the street. Scott is walking ahead of them, his head raised as he looks at the sky. “Things have been better.”

“They have,” Theo says. “But…”

“What?”

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “I just can’t shake the feeling that something bad, or worse, is going to happen.”

“It’s not,” Liam assures him. “Everything is fine.”

Theo doesn’t normally feel soothed by that motto, but it’s a little different with Liam saying it. Liam always threatens to bring out the optimist in him. A side he thought died long ago. At least long before he himself did.

Kira is waiting at the door to the restaurant, the smile ever present in her face as she waves and greets people as they enter. So they’re not the only ones running behind, it seems.

“Hello!” Kira says when she spots them. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Are you really glad or are you just programmed to feel that way?”

“Of course I’m glad, silly,” Kira says. “I enjoy each of you.”

Liam smiles, “We enjoy you too, Kira.”

“I am glad to hear that, Liam,” Kira beams at him. “Bobby is waiting inside. He wants you to come find him, Theo.”

Theo nods, “Of course. Thank you Kira.”

She waves them into the already crowded restaurant. Theo is reluctant to leave Liam once they’re inside, but knows it’s probably better if he doesn’t have to talk to Bobby. 

“You go get seated, and I’ll come find you,” Theo tells him.

“You sure?” Liam asks.

Theo nods and kisses his cheek, enjoying the way Liam’s face heats up. “I’m sure. Go get ready for whatever healthy meal you’re about to be served.”

“Why do you assume my favorite meal is healthy?” Liam asks.

“Isn’t it?”

“I do like healthy food,” Liam says. “But for the record, I also am fond of pizza.”

He goes off to find his table, and Theo watches him for a moment, before letting his eyes drift around the room, searching for Bobby. He’s across the room talking to Greenberg by the door leading to the kitchen. Theo keeps to the far wall as he walks towards him, hoping to stay out of sight from anyone that might want to talk to him. He knows he’s going to reach his limit with conversation tonight, and would like to avoid it as much as possible.

He’s almost made it to Bobby, when a hand shoots out and grabs him, pulling him into another room. “Scott?”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Scott says.

“Do what?”

“Lie. It’s been eating away at my conscience, man, knowing I don’t belong here and I’m lying to all these people. And somewhat responsible for all the bad stuff that’s been happening.”

“We’re working to fix that,” Theo reminds him. “We’re trying to be better.”

“What if we can’t be?” Scott asks. “What if we’re just doomed to keep screwing up and things just keep being bad here. This is The Good Place, Theo. Things shouldn’t be bad.”

“What are you saying?”

“I need to come clean,” says Scott. “I’m going to tell Bobby that I don’t belong here, and then maybe that will fix things.”

“If you do that, they could send you to the Bad Place,” Theo tells him. “And if you go, and things still keep going wrong, they’ll get suspicious and that could expose me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Scott says. “But I have to say something.”

“Scott man, come on,” Theo says, almost pleading now. He’d been working so hard at fixing everything and keeping their secret from being exposed. He doesn’t want to see it all blow up in their faces.

“I’m sorry,” Scott says, and looks like he at least genuinely means it. “I just wanted to give you a heads up. I’m going to do it when I get my food, so I know all the attention is on me.”

“But…”

Scott claps his shoulder and then walks out of the room, over to the table he’s sharing with Liam and Danny. Liam catches his eye, and Theo debates waving him over to tell him what’s happening. But that will just cause him even more stress. No, Theo is going to have to figure this out on his own.

“Theo?” Theo turns at the sound of Bobby’s voice. He’s standing in the doorway, watching him. “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” Theo says, repeating the words that have been said to him so many times since he arrived. Things don’t feel fine, though. They feel like they’re falling apart.

“Are you sure?” Bobby asks. “You look stressed.”

“I just want tonight to go well,” Theo says. “I know how important it is to Greenberg.”

“That’s nice of you to be worried on his behalf,” Bobby says. “But I assure you, everything is going to go just fine.”

Theo’s starting to think they need a new word to describe things, considering fine is now taking on a whole different meaning. Or it always had been that way. People have been saying things are fine for decades when they really mean the opposite. So it’s funny that people in The Good Place would use it so often. 

“I’m glad to hear it,” Theo says.

“So, why don’t you go take your seat?” Bobby says. He puts a hand on Theo’s back and guides him out of the room. “I know Liam is waiting. And it does look like you two have been really hitting it off.”

“Yeah Liam is great,” Theo says. “I really am lucky to have him.”

“Not luck,” Bobby says. “Destiny.”

Theo does his best to smile and nod as he takes his seat. It would be a nice thought. But how can Liam be his destiny when he wasn’t even supposed to be here? 

“Everything okay?” asks Liam, leaning in and keeping his voice low so no one else can hear.

Theo nods, “Sure. Everything’s…”

“Please don’t say fine,” Liam sighs. “If I hear that one more time…”

“Driving you crazy too?” Theo laughs.

“Yes,” Liam says. “I know I’ve said it, but I never realized how repetitive it is. And that when it’s said so many times it starts to lose all meaning.”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Theo says.

“So what’s up?”

“What do you mean?”

“You look more stressed than usual,” Liam tells him. “So something is bothering you.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.”

“It’s nothing you should worry about.”

Liam narrows his eyes, “Theo…”

Theo looks around, finding everyone’s attention elsewhere. He leans in and keeps his voice low as he mutters in Liam’s ear. “Don’t panic, but Scott wants to come clean about not belonging here.”

Liam’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth. Theo does the only thing he can think of to keep him quiet. He kisses him. It’s just a quick press of lips but it’s enough to keep Liam silent. “Don’t freak out,” he whispers. “I’m handling it.”

“You kissed me,” Liam whispers.

“I did,” Theo says. “You can freak out about that later. Right now we can only handle one freak out at a time.”

“You just said no freaking out,” Liam mutters.

Theo smiles, “No making a scene and freaking out. Internally freak out all you want.”

“Are you?”

“All the forking time,” Theo says, and Liam laughs. “I’m going to handle it,” Theo assures him. “Trust me.”

“I do,” Liam whispers.

Theo wants to tell him he really shouldn’t. That he’s probably the last person Liam should trust. He’ll just let him down like he has everyone else. But he doesn’t want to. He wants to be worthy of that trust. 

“I’ll make sure you don’t regret that,” Theo says.

A glass clinks and their attention shifts to where Bobby is standing at the front of the room next to Greenberg. He grins, almost manically, as he looks around the room. “Welcome everyone! I am _thrilled_ to have you all here for the grand opening of Greenberg’s new restaurant. I have no doubt it is going to be spectacular. Now tonight, you all will be treated to your favorite food from your time on earth. Some of it may be obvious, but there also might be some surprises. Some things you didn’t realize you love as much as you do. Greenberg and I are both so excited to kick this night off. And we’re going to start with our very own Liam.”

Liam’s eyes widen, “Me?”

“Yes you!” Bobby says. He strides across the room to stand by their table and places an empty plate down in front of him.

“Your favorite food is either air or invisible,” Theo teases.

Bobby chuckles, “It hasn’t appeared yet. Just one second.”

The next moment the plate is full of a giant slice of apple pie. Liam smiles. “My mom always used to make me apple pie.”

“That’s so sweet,” Danny says. “It must be like a little piece of home.”

“Only one way to find out,” Bobby says. “Go on! Try it.”

Liam picks his fork up and cuts off a piece of the pie before bringing it to his lips. He closes his eyes as he chews, a pleased groan slipping out.

“That good?” Theo asks.

“So good,” Liam mumbles. “Here you should try it.”

Theo opens his mouth to tell him that that’s not necessary, but the next moment Liam is shoving a forkful of pie into his mouth. Theo has no choice but to close his lips around the fork and take the bite. His eyes don’t leave Liam’s as the fork slides from his mouth, and his tongue pokes out to lick the rest of the pie from his lips.

“It is good,” Theo says.

“Good,” Liam says, voice coming out higher than normal. He clears his throat. “That’s good. I’m glad you liked it.”

“So what’s the verdict?” Bobby asks. “As good as mom’s homemade apple pie?”

Liam nods, “Yeah, definitely. I’d never tell her this, but it might be better.”

Bobby laughs and slaps his back, hard enough to send Liam slumping towards the table. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Theo is tense as Bobby moves around the room, giving more people their food. It’s going in alphabetical order, he realizes. Which gives him a little time to prepare. He leans over to Scott and whispers. “You really don’t need to do this.”

“I do,” Scott says, keeping his head ducked so no one will see him talking. Not yet, at least... “I have to, bro.”

When they reach Danny, Theo gets to his feet and slips away. He paces the length of the wall and tries to figure out what he can do to stop this. Scott is next. If he comes clean, he’s going to expose not only himself, but risk exposing Theo too. He can’t let that happen. He has to find some way to stop this. But how?

“And we’re onto Scottsani,” Bobby says. “I know you can’t speak, so we’ll let your face do the talking for us.”

Theo looks to his right and releases a deep, shaky breath as an idea forms in his head. The cake. The cake that Greenberg has spent days working tirelessly on what’s meant to be a special gift to all of them after the night is over. Theo bites his lip. He doesn’t have time to think. All he knows is he has to do something to distract them from Scott.

So he walks behind it, and kicks the table, sending the cake swaying before all ten layers go crashing to the floor in one big, messy heap. There’s gasps from all around the room as Theo ducks out of view. 

“NO!” Greenberg shouts.

“What was that?” Bobby asks. “What happened to the cake?”

The room is a cluster of commotion, and Theo tries to creep his way out of the room. Then he feels it. The ground shaking hard under their feet. 

“Nobody panic,” Bobby says. “Everything is fine.”

“That doesn’t look fine,” Danny says.

He’s right. It’s definitely far from fine. Because there's a giant hole opening in the middle of the room, right in front of him.

“Okay maybe panic a little bit!” Bobby shouts. “Everybody get out now!”

“Theo!” Liam shouts. “Where’s Theo?”

“Oh no, he didn’t fall into that thing, did he?” Danny asks.

“Theo!” Liam calls out again, an edge of panic in his voice. 

Theo gets to his feet, “I’m here,” Theo says, walking on shaky legs towards Liam. “I’m here.”

“What happened?” 

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “I went to get some air and then when I came back in the ground started shaking and knocked me off my feet.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t fall in,” Liam says.

“Me too.”

He’s more than sure he doesn’t want to see where that hole leads, though he does have a feeling. And it’s nowhere good. More the opposite. Theo knows it’s no coincidence that the hole suddenly appeared when he knocked the cake over. This is all his fault.

They leave the building and start walking home, staying pressed close together. Scott runs to catch up to them. He’s alone.

“Dudes,” Scott says. “That thing has to be a sign right?”

“A sign?” Liam asks. 

“Yeah. It appeared when I was about to tell everyone the truth,” Scott says. “So it must be a sign that I should keep my mouth shut, right?”

Liam and Theo share a look. “That’s a good theory,” Theo says.

Scott nods, “I thought so. I can’t believe I just almost told everyone and got sent to the Bad Place. How crazy is that?”

“So crazy,” Theo says, smiling tightly.

“Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” 

Scott grins and gives a big wave before skipping off down the path towards his house. The rest of the walk back to their house is silent for Theo and Liam. Theo can tell Liam has questions, but doesn’t voice them. At least not yet. 

He’s still unnervingly silent as they enter the house and then as he grabs clothes from the dresser. “I’m going to shower,” he says, finally, keeping his back to Theo.

Theo nods, despite Liam not being able to see him. “Okay.”

Theo watches him go before grabbing his own pajamas and quickly changing. He crawls into bed and then just lays there on his back staring up at the ceiling, his hands clasped across his stomach. He probably looks calm, but he feels anything but. 

So much has happened tonight, and his head is spinning. From Scott to the cake to the hole in the ground and then kissing Liam, not once, but twice. Sure, only one of those times had actually happened. But the other felt real enough. And it cracked open a whole world of desires Theo is nowhere near ready to deal with. 

Liam very well couldn’t even want him. Theo wouldn’t blame him for that. He’d been the worst sort of person when he was alive. Liam should run in the opposite direction. Heck he should turn Theo in. Yet he doesn’t. He keeps helping Theo. And the biggest question on Theo’s mind tonight is _why_?

Liam enters the room silently and then crawls into bed next to him. He turns off the light and still doesn’t speak. Theo is sure he’s just going to go to sleep and that will be the end of it. But he doesn’t. He surprises Theo by scooting across the bed and curling up against Theo’s side. Theo is still for a moment, before he lifts his arm and wraps it around Liam, giving Liam a chance to snuggle in closer.

“Liam…”

“Don’t,” Liam says. “Don’t say anything. Not tonight. It’s been a long night, and right now I just want you to hold me until I fall asleep.”

“What about after?” Theo asks.

The question has so many meanings. What about after Liam falls asleep? What about after they wake up? What about after the truth comes out and Liam has to make a choice? So many afters on the horizon, but Liam focuses on the easiest one to answer.

“Doesn’t matter,” Liam says. “Just keep holding me and we’ll be okay.”

Theo really wishes that could be true. That all their problems could be solved just by keeping Liam in his arms. It might not solve them for an eternity, but it does tonight. Liam falls asleep quickly, and for an hour or so later, Theo just lays there watching him. He looks at peace like this. His eyes closed and face relaxed, the usual crease between his brows not there. Theo leans down and kisses the top of his head and whispers a quiet, “You’re everything I could ever want, but don’t deserve.”

Liam doesn’t answer. Of course he doesn't. He’s sound asleep. But he still snuggles closer, and Theo takes that as an argument in itself. Even in his sleep Liam finds a way to tell Theo he’s wrong.

Eventually, Theo’s eyes get heavy and slip closed and he drifts off. He dreams of Liam.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days pass, and the sinkhole is still there. Bobby says it’s been going away, but Theo knows otherwise. He’d caught Danny speaking around the building one night, peaking in the windows, and had been curious what he was seeing. So of course he had to take a look himself. And there the hole was, big as ever. 

“So we have a problem,” Theo tells Liam that night.

Liam looks up from his book, “What is it?”

“The hole isn’t going away like Bobby says it is.”

“It’s not?” Liam asks. “But we’ve been doing so well.”

“I know,” Theo says. “Which means we need to do better.”

“How do we do that?” Liam asks. “We already have lessons every day. And…”

“What?” Theo asks.

“Nothing,” Liam sighs. He closes his book and runs a hand down his face. “We’ll figure it out.”

Theo walks up to him and kneels down in front of his chair. He ducks his head to meet Liam’s eyes. “Hey. You know you can talk to me.”

“I guess I’m just wanting to do other things,” Liam admits.

Theo frowns, “You don’t want to teach me anymore?”

Liam takes Theo’s hand to stop him from pulling back. “I didn’t say that. I just want to do other things. You know? I spend all my time teaching you and when you’re not here, I’m reading and finding new things to teach. It’s just... I have other interests I’d like to explore.”

Guilt suddenly eats away at Theo as he realizes that by trying to be good, he’s also been pretty darn selfish in compartmentalizing Liam’s time. “Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Liam says. “Flying a kite, taking walks, watching the sunset, rolling down a hill.”

“A lot of outdoorsy stuff then,” Theo notes.

Liam shrugs, “I spent most of my time alive cooped up inside reading, and then teaching. I didn’t have a lot of time for outdoor stuff. Though I know it probably sounds silly…”

“It doesn’t,” Theo says, a plan already forming in his head. “You deserve to do things that make you happy. This is your afterlife, after all.”

“It’s yours too,” Liam says. When Theo looks away, he reaches out and takes Theo’s chin in his hand, meeting his gaze. “It is, Theo. You might have gotten here by mistake, but this is where you belong. I know it.”

“You really think so?” Theo whispers.

Liam smiles, “I know it. I’ve already seen so much growth in you, Theo. I know you’re only going to keep getting better.”

Theo wants to believe him. He wants to believe he’s as good as Liam thinks he is. Because if Liam can believe there’s good in him, there must be something there. Something that’s been hidden and buried underneath all the pain and disappointment of his years alive. He wants to be the man Liam believes him to be more than anything. Someone deserving of the soft smile Liam directs his way. No matter what it takes, he’s going to get there.

* * *

Theo wakes to the sound of banging. He puts the pillow over his head and tries to block it out as he grumbles out a tired, “Go away.”

Liam laughs from next to him, sounding far too happy and awake for this early. “Now, that’s no way to treat our guests.”

“They’re not inside yet, so they’re not our guests,” Theo mumbles.

The pillow disappears from above him and Theo glares up at Liam’s smiling face. “How are you so happy in the morning?”

“I’ve always been a morning person,” Liam says. “Now come, get up and get dressed while I go answer the door.”

Theo does as he’s told. He grabs some clothes from the dresser and heads to the bathroom as Liam answers the door. Theo’s not surprised to hear Bobby’s voice. He’s the only one, besides maybe Danny, that would show up here in the morning. Not that they get a lot of visitors. He changes quickly and then walks out to the living room. Bobby grins when he sees him.

“Theo! There you are!”

“Sorry, just woke up,” Theo tells him.

“Long night?” Bobby asks, looking between Theo and Liam. 

Liam opens his mouth, but Theo slides up next to him and snakes an arm around his waist as he kisses his cheek. “We were up quite late.”

“I see,” Bobby says, looking between the two of them with a smile. “Liam certainly looks awake though.”

“He’s a morning person,” Theo says.

“Aren’t you?” Bobby asks. “I could swear it said in your file that you were.”

“I’m learning to adapt and relax here,” Theo says, putting on an easy smile. 

“I’m so happy to hear that,” Bobby says. “It’s actually pretty perfect considering what I’m here for.” Theo raises an eyebrow as Bobby calls over his shoulder, “Lydia! Laura! You can come in!”

Two women step into the room. One with bright red hair and a piercing stare, the other with eyes just as piercing, but dark, jet black hair. The dark haired woman looks familiar to Theo, but he can’t place why. She smiles and holds out her hand, “I’m so pleased to meet you both. I’m Laura, and this is my soulmate, Lydia.”

Theo and Liam shake both their hands in greeting as Bobby watches the interaction. “Lydia and Laura live right next door to the sinkhole,” Bobby says.

“Oh no,” Liam says. “That must be scary.”

“I’m sure it is,” Bobby says. “Though we are working on getting it fixed. Until then though, I thought it might be safer for them to stay elsewhere.” Theo already knows where he’s going with this, before he even asks the question. “I was hoping they could stay with you two.”

Theo and Liam share a look. It’s not as if they really have a choice. They’re good people. Good people take people in when they need a place to stay. But those good people also don’t have a world of secrets hanging over their heads. And probably have more than one bed. 

“Of course they can,” Liam says. “Right Theo?”

“Absolutely,” Theo says. “Our home is yours, as long as you need it.”

“Oh wonderful,” Laura says. 

“I always wondered what it would be like to live in a small house,” Lydia says.

“Well, now you will know,” Bobby says. “This works out perfectly.”

“So perfect,” Theo says.

“And we’re so thrilled to be getting to know both of you,” Lydia says.

“So well that we’ll know everything about each other by the time we leave,” Laura agrees.

Theo hopes his panic doesn’t show on his face. “Great. Can’t wait.”

“Do you two want something to drink?” Liam asks.

“That would be lovely,” Lydia says. “I only drink purified water, though.”

“I’ll take some wine,” Laura says. “Preferably red.”

“You got it,” Liam says. “Theo? Help me in the kitchen?”

“You do know you can just summon Kira,” Bobby says.

“Oh we know,” Liam says. “But I like to feel useful.”

“Of course you do,” Bobby says. 

Liam takes Theo’s hand and starts pulling him towards the kitchen. They’re almost there when they hear Bobby say, “They probably just want some time alone. Those two have gotten quite fond of each other.”

“How sweet,” Laura says.

The door shuts behind them and he leans against it. He looks at Theo with wide, panicked eyes. “How are we supposed to do this?”

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “I don’t like it either. But we don’t really have a choice.”

“Did you hear what they said? _We’re going to know everything about each other_ ,” Liam hisses. “Everything!”

“You need to calm down,” Theo says. “We can do this.”

“You really think so? Because you know I hate lying.”

“Then don’t lie,” Theo says. “Let me do the talking.”

“I don’t want you to lie either,” Liam says. “You’ve been doing so well lately.”

Theo sighs and runs a hand down his face, “So we just spin the truth. Answer their questions enough to appease. Or wait, I got it.”

“What?”

“We play games,” Theo says. “Board games. Anything to keep them distracted. Maybe even watch TV.”

“We don’t have a TV,” Liam reminds him.

“We can ask Kira for one,” Theo says. “To entertain our guests. People love movies.”

“I guess,” Liam says slowly.

“Kira,” Theo says.

Not even a second later, Kira is there. She grins and waves. “Hi!”

“Hi Kira,” Theo says. “We’re going to be having some houseguests, because their house is right next to the sinkhole.”

“Oh no.”

“I know,” Theo says. “So is there any way we could get a TV? And some board games?”

“Of course,” Kira says. “Anything else?”

“A bed for them,” Liam says.

When Theo raises an eyebrow, he shrugs. “What? Do you want to share or have to sleep on the couch or floor? Because that’s what’s going to happen?”

“Fair enough,” Theo says. “A bed too. Oh! And some purified water, and red wine.”

“What kind of red wine? You know there are _a lot_.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Theo says. “Laura didn’t specify.”

“If it’s for Laura Hale, I know exactly the kind of red wine she prefers,” Kira says.

“Great,” Theo says. “Then we’ll take that.”

“Where should I bring it to?” Kira says. “Are you staying in here?”

“No, but bring the wine and water here, and everything else to the living room,” Theo says.

“You got it,” Kira smiles. “I’ll be right back.” She’s barely disappeared before she’s reappearing with two glasses and bottles of wine and water. “Would you like me to open them?”

“No, I think we can manage,” Liam says. “Thank you Kira.”

She puts the glasses, wine, and water down and then pops out of existence again. Theo grabs the wine and looks around. “Do you think there’s a corkscrew?”

Liam shrugs and opens the bottle of water before pouring it into the glass. He puts the rest into the fridge. 

Theo looks through the drawers, before luckily locating a corkscrew. He didn’t want to have to call Kira back again. He grabs the wine and works on getting it uncorked. Which isn’t hard. He’s had to open his fair share of bottles. He pours a glass and then puts the rest in the fridge next to the water.

He picks up the glass and turns to Liam, “Ready?”

“I guess so,” Liam says.

Theo squeezes his hand in reassurance before opening the door and leading the way out. Kira is there now, standing by Bobby. “I brought the items you requested,” she tells them.

Sure enough, there’s a TV now sitting on a table by the wall, and a stack of board games on the coffee table. None of that is an issue. What is, is the bed now blocking their path from the kitchen to the living room.

“That’s great, Kira,” Liam says.

“But how are we supposed to get out?” Theo asks.

“Oh dear,” Bobby laughs. “That is a bit of a situation. I guess you’ll have to climb over.”

Theo and Liam look at each other. “How are we going to do that without spilling the drinks?” Liam asks.

“Here.” He hands Liam the glass of wine. “Hold this while I go over. Then you can hand those to me, and then come over.”

It sounds easy enough. Theo hadn’t accounted for how much the bed would sink when he got on it, making it a little bit more difficult to crawl across than he expected. He eventually makes it and holds out his hands for Liam to hand him the glasses. “Liam?”

Liam blinks and shakes his head, “Yeah. Here. Sorry.”

Theo raises an eyebrow, confused about why Liam would be so distracted, and blushing. He’s definitely blushing. It’s not until he looks down that he sees his shirt has ridden up pretty high. He smirks. “Like what you see?”

Liam rolls his eyes, coming back to himself. “Just take the glasses, ashhole.”

“Oh dear,” Laura tuts. 

Theo laughs and takes the glasses from Liam. He puts them down on the table and then moves back to the bed, and helps Liam to his feet so he doesn’t have to struggle as much as Theo did. “There,” he says, smoothing down Liam’s clothes. His hands linger on his hips. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Liam, if anything, appears to blush harder. “Thanks, Theo.”

Theo winks and steps back, “Anything for you, my dear.”

He grabs the drinks from the table and walks them over to where Laura and Lydia are standing by the door. “Do feel free to come in and make yourselves at home.”

They move to the two chairs in the room and each take a seat. Lydia examines the games on the table with a raised eyebrow. “Board games?”

“I thought it might be a fun way to pass the time,” Theo says. “Since we’re going to be stuck inside for a while.”

“I think it’s a lovely idea,” Laura says. “I used to play games all the time with my family. Especially my younger brother, Derek.”

 _Hale_. Theo suddenly knows why Laura had sounded so familiar. He knew her brother. Not just knew, but Derek had been his last serious relationship. If you could call it serious. But it was as close as he ever got to one. Before Theo once again forked things up by getting scared and pushing Derek away. 

Not that he can say any of this to Laura. He’s not supposed to know Derek or anyone from his actual life. So he’s going to have to be careful here. 

“That sounds nice,” Theo says. He moves to the couch and sits down, Liam following behind him. They sit close, enough that Theo can feel the warmth radiating off Liam’s body. It’s still strange how they can be dead and yet their bodies feel so real. 

“It was,” Laura says. “I do miss it sometimes. And my family.”

Liam nods and looks down at his hands, “Yeah I miss mine too.”

Theo rests a hand on his leg. Liam’s only briefly spoken about his family. About his father who died when he was young, who he was disappointed to not be seeing in the afterlife. His mother and stepfather, who had raised him since he was seven years old. He’d talked about how he still felt guilty sometimes for leaving them to teach across the country, but it had been his dream. One his parents had always encouraged. Theo wonders what that must have been like, to have parents that loved and supported you. Something he’ll never know.

“It is hard being away from our families,” Lydia agrees. “What about you, Theo? Any family you left behind?”

“We all have people we miss,” Theo says, trying to dodge the questions. “But this is getting a little too sad.”

“It definitely is,” Laura says. “Now let’s bring out the games.” She turns to the door, where Theo is surprised to see Bobby still standing, watching them. “Would you like to join us, Bobby?”

“Oh, I think I’ll pass,” Bobby says. “I have things I need to take care of, so I’ll leave you four to get to know each other.”

“Thank you for your help,” Lydia says. “And looking out for us.”

“Of course,” Bobby says. “It’s my job to make sure you’re happy.”

“I thought that was Kira’s job,” Theo says.

“It is,” Bobby says. “But my duty is on a deeper level. Have fun!”

He shuts the door quietly behind himself, leaving them alone. Theo suddenly wishes he thought to grab himself something to drink. It would at least give him something to do instead of sit here, trying not to fidget in the sudden, slowly growing, awkward silence. 

“So,” Liam says, breaking the silence. “Games?”

“Sure,” Laura says. “Why not?”

They play for a couple hours, before the ladies have enough and decide they should talk instead. For a while Theo and Liam are able to keep the conversation off of them and on the women. But all too soon, they’re asking them questions. What was their first meeting like? How do they get along? Have they been intimate yet?

Liam almost chokes on the last one, and Theo pats his back. To the girls, he says. “Not yet. We’re still getting to know each other in other ways.”

“I see,” Lydia says, eyeing each of them. “And do you like what you're finding out?”

“I do,” Theo says. “Liam is a wonderful, smart, funny man. I’m lucky to have him as my soulmate.”

Liam fidgets next to him, and Theo really hopes they don’t ask him anything specific. Of course, that would be too easy. Lydia turns her gaze on him. “And you, Liam? How do you feel about Theo?”

“Theo’s great,” Liam says. He looks at Theo briefly before looking back down the table. “He keeps me on my toes, that’s for sure.”

Not a lie, Theo supposes. Hopefully that will tide them over. 

It doesn’t.

Laura purses her lips, “You know, I’m very good at reading people. Which is why I know you’re hiding something, Liam.”

“What?” Liam sputters. “I’m not!”

“You are,” Lydia says. “What is it?”

Liam squirms in his seat, and Theo wants nothing more than to be able to tell them to back off and leave Liam alone. But he can’t. Because the good Theo wouldn’t do that. Which is really forking unfortunate. 

“I…” Liam looks around helplessly, before releasing a long breath. “I’ve never had a real relationship before.”

Theo blinks. That hadn’t been what he was expecting Liam to say. Not at all.

“You haven’t?” Laura asks.

“Not with anyone?” Lydia asks.

Liam shakes his head, “I was always more into my studies, so there was never any time for relationships in high school or college, and by the time I was done it just seemed too daunting to try. So I never did. And no one ever seemed all that interested. I was too bookish.”

“You’re not,” Theo says earnestly. “You’re brilliant.”

Liam blushes and he mumbles out a quiet, “Thanks.”

“So Theo is your first relationship?” Laura asks.

Liam nods and bites his lip, “Yeah. I was really excited about having a soulmate, you know? Someone made just for me.”

“It is lovely, isn’t it?” Lydia asks. She smiles sweetly at Laura, who leans in and kisses her. 

Except Liam wouldn’t know. Because Theo isn’t really his soulmate. Him being here by mistake had cost Liam that. Guilt eats away at him suddenly and he excuses himself, saying he needs a drink. He’d forgotten about the bed when he decided to make his quick exit and sighs as he has to crawl across it just to escape. When he gets there, he paces around the kitchen and tugs at his hair. He’s been trying so hard to be good so that he could stay, and here he’s been a horrible friend to Liam. He deserves better, and that’s what he’s going to give him.

And he knows exactly what to do. 

The next morning, he wakes early while Laura and Lydia are still sleeping. In Liam and Theo’s bed, of course. The nice thing to do was to offer them the more comfortable bed and not one that threatened to drag them down and make them one with the mattress. 

He grabs some clothes as quietly as he can, and grabs some for Liam too, before going to shake him awake. Liam blinks his eyes open slowly and looks up at him. “Theo?”

“Morning,” Theo says, unable to stop himself from smoothing back Liam’s hair.

“What are you doing up?” Liam asks him.

“I have a surprise for you,” Theo says. “Which means I need you to get up, and quietly.”

Liam’s brow wrinkles in confusion, but he nods. He crawls across the bed and once again with Theo’s help, stands. Theo hands him his clothes and sends him to the bathroom to change. Theo puts his shoes on while he’s waiting, and then waits for Liam to do the same when he emerges. 

Liam is silent at first when they make their way out of the house and down the street. “Where are we going?”

“You said you wanted to do other things,” Theo says, leading them to a path in the park. “So here we are. Going on a walk. Though I can leave if you’d rather do it alone.”

Liam smiles and knocks his shoulder with Theo’s, “No. I don’t mind the company.”

“No?”

“Nah, it’s pretty great,” Liam says. “And so is this. Thank you.”

“You deserve to be happy,” Theo tells him. “This is your eternity, and I’m sorry I’ve been dragging you down with my shirt.”

“Your shirt?” Liam questions.

“Yeah, my shirt,” he sighs. “My bullshirt?”

“Ahh,” Liam laughs. “Your _shirt_.”

“Exactly,” Theo says. 

“I like helping you, Theo,” Liam says. “Just because I want to do other things too doesn’t mean I don’t. We all need breaks sometimes, right? I’m sure you do.”

Theo nods, “I do. And it is nice just being out here and breathing in the fresh air.”

“It is,” Liam says. “I like that it smells slightly like oranges.”

“That’s what that is,” Theo says. “I was wondering.”

“I always loved the smell of the orange groves when we drove through Florida as a kid,” Liam says. “I’ll never forget the smell.”

“It is nice,” Theo says.

“So is this the only thing you had planned?” Liam asks him.

Theo raises an eyebrow, “Why? Are you bored already?”

“No,” Liam laughs. “I just know you usually have more up your sleeve.”

“I do,” Theo tells him. “This way.”

He leads Liam to the middle of the grassy clearing. He nods his head to the ground and Liam’s whole face seems to light up. “A kite!”

“It was on your list,” Theo says.

Liam picks up the kite by the handle and runs his fingers across it. “I used to fly kites with my dad before he died. My mom and David, my other dad, used to take me too. But some of the best memories I have with my dad were flying kites in the park.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment. Theo gives him the space he needs to gather his thoughts. When Liam opens his eyes, he meets Theo’s gaze and smiles. “Thank you for this.”

“You can thank me by showing me how to fly this thing,” Theo says.

Liam raises an eyebrow, “You’ve never flown a kite?”

Theo shakes his head, “My parents weren’t the most attentive people.”

“I’m sorry,” Liam says softly.

Theo shrugs, “Yeah, well, it’s their loss, right?”

“Absolutely,” Liam says.

“So,” Theo says. “Are you ready to fly this thing?”

Liam grins, “Absolutely. Just follow me.”

He takes off running across the clearing and Theo runs after him. He keeps his eyes on Liam, watching as he laughs as the kite starts to soar through the sky above them. It’s the happiest he’s ever seen Liam. The most relaxed too. Theo makes a promise to himself that he’ll make sure Liam gets more moments like this. He deserved them.

Theo’s not sure how long they run around the clearing before Liam stops. He collapses to the ground and rolls onto his back, his eyes on the sky, watching as the kite slowly falls back towards them. Theo stands there for a moment, until Liam’s hand shoots out and grabs his arm, pulling him down next to him.

Liam grins at him and Theo returns it. “So, having fun?”

“I am,” Liam says.

“Well it’s not over yet,” Theo says.

“It’s not?”

Theo shakes his head, “Nope. There’s one more thing on the list.”

“Okay,” Liam says. He shifts closer, resting his head on Theo’s arm. “But let’s just stay here like this a little longer. “

They lay there a while, looking up at the sky, and pointing out the shapes of different clouds.

“That’s a turtle,” Theo says, pointing at a cloud to his left.

“What? No way!” Liam laughs. “That’s not a turtle.”

“Then what is it?” Theo asks him.

“It’s just a normal cloud,” Liam says.

It’s Theo’s turn to laugh. “A normal cloud? Liam, it has a neck. And behind its neck is clearly its shell.”

Liam tilts his head and studies it, “I still don’t see it.”

Theo looks at him incredulously. For a moment, he thinks Liam is telling the truth. That he really can’t see the obvious turtle shape to the cloud. But then his lips lift slightly.

“You’re messing with me,” Theo says.

“I’m not,” Liam argues. “That is not a turtle.”

His smile grows wider and Theo laughs again. He rolls over, and lifts himself up until he’s hovering over Liam. “It’s a turtle.”

“Well, now I definitely can’t see it,” Liam says.

Theo uses one hand to dig his fingers into Liam’s side, while his other arm supports his weight. Liam laughs and tries to move out from beneath him, but Theo has his legs pinned under him. 

“Say it’s a turtle,” Theo says.

“Never!”

Theo digs his fingers in again, and Liam laughs harder. Theo keeps tickling him as he leans down close to his ear. “Say it’s a turtle.”

He can hear Liam’s shaky inhale as he stops moving under Theo. “Never,” Liam whispers, his lips brushing against Theo’s neck as he speaks. Theo’s whole body stills when he feels those same lips press against his skin in a brief kiss, before he speaks again. “It’s not a turtle.”

“It is,” Theo says, though he sounds less sure. He can’t help it. Liam’s made him lose his focus. Again. And it’s all his fault. He’s the one that thought it would be a good idea to straddle him. 

Liam’s hands move, tracing up his back, “You seem a little distracted, Theo.”

Theo closes his eyes, only for them to snap open as he glares down at Liam. He’s pulled his head away, and he’s smirking. “You’re forking with me.”

Liam laughs, “Maybe, but you started it.”

“Because it is a turtle,” Theo says, some of the tension leaching from his body. “And you know it.”

“Do I though?”

“Yes!” 

“I don’t know,” Liam muses, giving him a mischievous grin. “You might have to convince me.”

Is Liam flirting with him? It really feels like Liam is flirting with him right now. Theo isn’t sure how to handle it. 

“And how exactly am I supposed to convince you?” Theo asks, leaning in closer. 

Liam’s eyes track his movements, and his smile grows. One of his hands moves up to Theo’s neck and tugs him in. There’s barely any space between them now and Theo’s body is almost bursting with anticipation. “You know,” Liam says softly. “You were my first kiss.”

Theo’s eyes widen, “What?”

Liam nods, the movement causing their noses to brush together, “Yep. That night at the restaurant.”

“Liam, I’m sorry,” Theo says. “I didn’t know and I just kissed you. I should have asked you first.”

Liam smiles, “I was a little surprised, but especially to find I didn’t mind it.”

Theo swallows thickly, “No?”

“No,” Liam says. “In fact, I quite enjoyed it, as brief as it was.”

“I did too,” Theo admits.

“I think I might enjoy doing it again,” Liam says. “For research purposes, of course.”

“Of course,” says Theo, laughing shakily. “You do love your research.”

Theo knows what’s coming, but it still knocks the breath out of him when Liam leans up and kisses him. It’s hesitant at first, as if Liam’s still unsure. Theo can’t have that. He moves his hand up to cup Liam’s cheek and changes the angle. He keeps it chaste, not wanting to push Liam too far, and not wanting to take more than Liam is willing to offer. But then Liam surprises him once again by running his tongue along the seam of Theo’s lips. Theo opens for him, of course he does. He already knows there is nothing he wouldn’t do for Liam if he can help it. Their tongues meet in slow dances and Liam groans, tugging Theo’s hair and trying to bring him closer. 

“Liam,” he murmurs against his lips. All other words fail him. All he knows is Liam’s name and the way kissing him makes him feel. And it’s so different than anything he’s ever felt before. Because Liam kisses him with such tenderness, such… Theo can’t even think the word. It will just make this all so much scarier. And right now Theo is already terrified. 

Liam is beautiful and good, and Theo… Theo always has a habit of destroying good things. He doesn’t want that for Liam. He presses himself closer, kisses Liam deeper, with a little more desperation. He needs to feel this. Even if it’s just this once. He needs to know what it’s like to kiss Liam. To feel him in his arms. To even for a short time feel loved.

Love.

There it is. That big and terrifying word. Something that for so long has eluded Theo. He’s never had it. Not really. Though as a kid he’d sought it. He loved his parents at one point, he knows, only to ever have that love thrown back in his face.

With everyone else he’s always kept his distance and pushed people away when things got too serious, when they got too close. Derek had gotten the closest and he’d darn well made sure he never wanted anything to do with Theo again. 

The scariest part of all of this is that he wants to pull Liam closer instead of push him away. He doesn’t want to hurt him. Not like he’s hurt everyone else that had the misfortune of knowing him. He wants to be someone worthy of Liam’s kisses and the soft looks he gives him. Someone maybe one day worthy of his love. But no. That’s not right, is it? Liam isn’t really his soulmate. It would be selfish of him to claim him for himself knowing there’s someone out there perfectly made for Liam.

“Stop thinking,” Liam mumbles against his lips.

“I’m not,” Theo says.

Liam sighs and tugs on Theo’s hair until he pulls back to look at him. “You _are_. You’re not really here. Which is unfortunate, because I have been giving you some of the best kisses of my life.”

That gets a smile out of Theo, “You are very talented with your lips.”

“Then why are you so distracted?” Liam asks. 

“I just want to be sure this is what you want,” Theo says.

“What? Of course it is,” Liam says. “I wouldn’t have kissed you if it wasn’t.”

“But I’m not really your soulmate,” Theo reminds him.

Liam frowns. He’s silent for a moment, studying Theo’s face before he speaks. “So?”

One word. So simple. But just like that Liam tries to put an end to the argument. Theo kisses him again, quickly. “I feel as if your research has been _very_ thorough.”

Liam chuckles, “It has been. I learned a lot.”

“Oh good,” Theo says. “Otherwise we might have to get more practice in.”

“On second thought,” Liam says. “There can never be too much learning.”

Theo grins and runs his nose along Liam’s cheek back to his ear, “It’s unfortunate we have houseguests for the unforeseeable future.”

Liam groans, “Don’t remind me. I mean, they're great. But I do miss just being alone with you.”

“We’re alone right now,” Theo points out.

“Yes, but we’re in public,” Liam reminds him. “Out in the open.”

Theo sighs, “True.” He’s silent for a moment before springing to his feet. Liam pouts up at him and he laughs, holding his hand out. “There’s still one more thing we have to do.”

Liam puts his hand in Theo’s and lets him pull him up. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Come on,” Theo says, tugging Liam across the clearing. “I’ll show you.”

He leads Liam further down the path until they reach the base of a tall hill. They stop at the bottom and Theo nods his head up at it. “Here we are.”

“A hill?”

“You said you wanted to roll down one,” Theo reminds him. “So now you can.”

Liam grins and tugs on Theo’s hand, “You’re coming with me.”

“What?”

“You’re coming with me,” Liam repeats.

Theo has no choice but to let Liam pull him up to the top of the hill. They stand there, side by side, hands still clasped between them. Theo bites his lip as he looks down. It seems a lot taller from up here. Though he supposed nothing bad can truly happen. It’s not like he can die again.

“How do we do this?”

Liam drops his hand and moves further to his left, putting some space between them. “Okay move more to the right. A little further. Yeah there.”

“Now what?”

“Now we lay down,” Liam tells him. He lays on his back and looks up at Theo, eyebrow raised. “Come on.”

It feels a little ridiculous laying down at the top of a hill. Though he supposes they just spent most of the morning sprawled across the grass looking at clouds. This can’t be much different. He lays on his back and looks over at Liam, who grins.

“Now you just have to roll,” Liam says. “We can go together?”

Theo nods, “Yeah let’s do that.”

“Okay then. On the count of three. 1, 2, 3…”

Liam pushes off and starts rolling down the hill, Theo doing the same, a few seconds behind him. Liam’s happy laughter fills his ears and every so often he catches a glimpse of him rolling down a few feet in front of him. Theo can’t help but laugh too. It really is pretty exhilarating for something so simple. In fact, it feels oddly freeing. 

When he reaches the bottom, he just lays there for a few more moments, trying to catch his breath. He looks up when Liam crawls closer and hovers over him. “Well?”

“It was fun,” Theo says.

“It was,” Liam says. He leans down and kisses him softly and Theo hums, tangling a hand in his hair and pulling him closer.

“Is this going to be a common thing?” Theo asks him.

Liam grins, “I have to do my research somehow.”

“True,” Theo whispers. He pulls him in for another, slower kiss. “Did you have fun today?”

“I did,” Liam says. “Thank you for this. Really.”

“Anything for you,” Theo says, and he means it.

The earth starts to shake and Theo instinctively grabs for Liam, keeping him close. 

“What’s happening?” Liam asks him.

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “I have a feeling it’s about the hole though.”

“We should go find out,” Liam says. “Right?”

Theo nods, “Right.”

He’s a little afraid, if he’s being honest. If all this has somehow gotten worse, he’s not sure what he’s going to do. They run back down the path, towards the center of town. There’s a big gathering outside the restaurant and Theo and Liam push their way through to the front where Danny and Scott are. 

“What’s going on?” Liam asks.

“Don’t know,” Danny says. “Bobby just went running in there when the ground started shaking again.”

“I’m going to look,” Theo decides. He starts to move forward, but Liam grabs him by the arm. He turns his head to look at him. “I need to see what’s going on.”

“I know,” Liam says. “But you’re not doing it alone. I’m coming with you.”

“So am I,” Danny says. “I had to save Bobby earlier when this thing grew. I might have to do it again.”

They walk inside, Theo leading the way. They find Bobby standing with Kira in the middle of the room. They’re looking down at the ground where the hole has been, but nothing is there. 

“What happened?” Theo asks.

Bobby looks over at them, face perplexed. “The hole just closed. We’re not sure why, but it was there this morning, and then it just closed up.”

“It’s a miracle,” Danny says.

“Something like that,” says Liam. He glances at Theo and smiles. Theo knows what he must be thinking. They had to have done something to fix it.

“Well, I guess this means you’ll be getting your house to yourselves again,” Bobby says. “I know that must be hard news.”

“We have enjoyed having Laura and Lydia around,” Theo says.

“Though we also won’t mind some alone time,” Liam says, smiling up at him.

Bobby chuckles, “Oh, I bet you won’t. It seems you two are getting along well.”

“We are,” Theo says.

“We should go give Laura and Lydia the news,” Liam says.

“No need,” Bobby says. “I saw them outside when I was coming in so I’ll tell them myself.”

“Great.”

“And then I’ll need to get to the bottom of all this,” he says.

“What?” Theo asks. “What do you mean?”

“I’m still trying to figure out what caused this hole to begin with,” Bobby muses. “It might be gone, but it appeared for a reason.”

 _Yeah because I don’t belong here and destroyed the cake_ , Theo thinks. Out loud he says, “I could help.”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly take you away from Liam,” Bobby says.

“Sometimes a little bit of time apart is good,” Theo says. “Right Liam?”

Liam nods, “Yeah, absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.”

“That it does,” Bobby says. “Well, I plan to start looking into this first thing in the morning. So I’ll see you bright and early, Theo.”

Theo nods, “Of course.”

They leave the restaurant and are immediately accosted by the other gathered residents still waiting outside. “What’s happened?” Laura asks. “Has it gotten worse?”

“Quite the opposite,” Bobby says, appearing behind them. “The sinkhole has disappeared.”

“Disappeared?” Lydia questions. “Just like that?”

“It seems so,” Bobby says. “Our own little miracle. Now you all can rest easy. In your own homes.”

“Oh wonderful,” Laura says. “I have missed my bed.”

Theo certainly agrees with that sentiment. He’s certainly not going to miss that lumpy mattress in the middle of the room. He walks home with Liam at his side. They enter the house and Theo sighs, falling back onto the couch. Liam sits next to him and leans into his side.

“We did good,” Liam says. “Or I should say, _you_ did.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Theo says.

“You did though,” Liam says. “You did a lot of good things today, Theo. Some kind gestures from the heart can really go a long way.”

“Yeah?”

Liam nods, “Absolutely. And you gave me one of the best days I’ve ever had.”

“Really?” Theo asks. “One of your best days?”

Liam leans in closer, “Maybe _the_ best day.”

“Now I know you’re just exaggerating,” Theo says.

“Maybe a little,” Liam laughs. “But I mean it. Today was amazing, Theo. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Theo says. “I just want you to be happy, Liam.”

Liam brushes a hand through Theo’s hair and Theo sighs, leaning into the touch. “I am happy,” Liam whispers. He leans in closer and brushes his lips softly against Theo’s. “I want you to be happy to.”

And Theo realizes one very important truth. He is happy. At least with Liam. Sure, most of the time he’s trying to figure out how to stay here. But now it’s not just about not wanting to go to the Bad Place. Now it’s about wanting to stay here, with Liam.

“I am happy,” Theo says. “You make me happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.” He can feel tears stinging at his eyes, and tries to will them away. 

“Then why do you look so sad?” Liam asks him.

“Because happiness has never lasted for me,” Theo admits. “I always do something to screw it up. I’m afraid of doing that with you.”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that,” Theo says. “You don’t know who I was when I was alive.”

“But I know who you are now,” Liam says. “And that’s someone who is good. I know it.”

“You really think I can be good?” Theo asks.

Liam smiles, “I do. Because you’re already there.”

Liam kisses him again, and Theo pulls him closer. The tears he’s been holding back fall down his cheeks and Liam kisses them away. Which only makes him cry harder. Liam tucks him into his arms and rocks him as he whispers out soft reassurances. Theo can’t remember the last time he was held like this. If he ever was. It both breaks and mends his heart. 

Eventually, Liam leads him up to the bed and they curl up together. They don’t talk. They just lay there, holding each other. Theo takes comfort in the silence. In Liam’s arms around him. In the soft kisses he presses to his skin. In the soft words he speaks with each kiss. In Liam’s everything. 

He still has a lot of work to do. He knows that. But he’s going to keep fighting. He’s never going to stop fighting to be someone who deserves Liam.


	4. Chapter 4

Theo wakes slowly. It takes him a moment to realize what it is that woke him, and then he feels the soft lips pressed to his skin, and a hand stroking through his hair.

“Are you with me?” Liam asks him.

Theo groans and presses his face further into Liam’s chest. Liam chuckles. “Come on, Theo. You need to get up.”

“No.”

“As much as I would love to keep you here with me, you’re supposed to meet Bobby.”

Theo sighs, “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“Why did I agree to get up early?”

“Because you need to distract him from figuring out what the problem is,” Liam says.

“Right,” Theo mutters. He opens his eyes and looks up at Liam’s smiling face. He leans up and kisses him, feeling Liam smile against his lips. “Sure I can’t stay a little longer?”

Liam laughs and whispers a soft, “Maybe a _little_ longer,” before kissing him again.

Theo walks into Bobby’s office an hour later. Bobby looks up from the file he’s holding and smiles at Theo. “You made it.”

“Sorry if I’m late,” Theo says. “I lost track of time.”

“We never said a time, so you can’t be late,” Bobby tells him.

That’s true. “So, where do we start?”

“I don’t know,” Bobby sighs. He looks out the window, face pensive. “I suppose we could walk around the neighborhood, check things out.”

“Great,” Theo says. It’ll give Theo an opportunity to keep Bobby talking, and maybe distract him from finding out the real cause of the sinkhole and every other thing that has gone wrong here.

They make their way outside, and then down the street. They look around in silence for a moment, before Theo decides to question Bobby. “So, has anything like this happened before?”

Bobby tilts his head, “No, and that’s why it’s so alarming.”

“Oh.”

“You know, architects don’t usually live in their neighborhoods,” he says. “I’d thought it would be interesting to stay and see how things play out. Get to know everyone. Get some real hands on experience.”

“So it’s been like an experiment,” Theo says.

“Of sorts,” Bobby replies. “This was my own idea, and now because of everything going wrong it’s going to be discredited by my failure.”

“It’s not your failure, Bobby,” Theo says.

“Oh but it is,” he sighs and looks at the sky. His eyes widen suddenly. “It is!”

“Bobby?”

“I have to go, Theo, but thank you for your help. Really, this talk has been illuminating.”

He runs off, leaving Theo standing alone in the street. Theo really didn’t find it all that illuminating. In fact, he’s still pretty confused. He walks home, going over the conversation in his head. Liam isn’t there when he arrives. Strange. But Theo shrugs it off. Liam deserves some time to himself. 

Theo grabs the remote to the TV and turns it on. Nothing really catches his eye, so he winds up on some old episode of Family Feud. He’s barely paying attention to it. It’s more on as a distraction, so he doesn’t get lost in his head. 

He’s not sure how long he sits there watching it when the door opens and Liam walks in. Theo looks at him over the back of the couch. “Hey. You’re home.”

“I am,” Liam says, joining him on the couch. “And so are you. Why?”

“Don’t know,” Theo says. “Bobby just took off.”

“Strange.”

“Very.”

“You’re watching Family Feud?” Liam questions, nodding his head towards the TV.

“It’s the only thing that halfway interested me,” Theo says. “And I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You could have read,” Liam points out.

“I learn better when you’re teaching me,” Theo shrugs.

Liam smiles and leans closer, “Is that right?”

“Absolutely,” Theo says. “In fact, I think you should start rewarding me for how well I’m doing.”

“Won’t that defeat the purpose of learning to be good if you’re only doing it for a reward?” Liam asks.

Theo sighs, “True. I guess we’ll just have to focus more on the ethics and less on the kissing then.”

He leans towards the table and grabs one of the books off it. He opens to a random page and starts reading, only to have it snatched away by Liam and thrown back on the table. Liam hovers over him with a smirk. “I have that whole book memorized,” he tells him.

“Is that right?” Theo says. 

“Mmhmm,” he murmurs, placing a kiss to Theo’s jaw. “And I think I might have some new teaching methods.”

Theo chuckles, “I am very interested to see what those are.”

“I bet you are,” Liam teases.

He continues kissing a path across Theo’s skin, with each kiss he speaks a line from the book. Theo can’t say he minds this new way of learning. Even if it gets a little harder to focus as Liam moves his way down, discarded pieces of their clothing as he goes. They haven’t gone that far yet, and Theo doesn’t want to push him. It takes everything in him to tangle a hand in Liam’s hair and stop him as he hovers over him, his hands on the edges of his boxers.

“Liam,” he says, voice slightly hoarse already. He clears his throat. “We don’t have to do this.”

“Do you not want to?” Liam asks him.

“I do,” Theo says. “I want you more than anything, but I just never want to push you into anything you’re not ready for.”

Liam’s smile turns soft and fond. He moves back up Theo’s body until he’s hovering inches away from his lips. He meets Theo’s eyes and doesn’t look away. “I’m ready,” he says. “I want this. But only if you do.”

“I do,” Theo tells him. “Of course I do.” Liam starts to move back down but Theo stops him again. Liam looks up at him with a raised eyebrow and Theo laughs, brushing the hair back from his face. “We should probably do this somewhere more comfortable.”

Theo nods, “Yeah probably.”

He stands up, and pulls Theo with him. They trade kisses as they stumble back towards the bed. Liam pushes Theo back onto the mattress and straddles him with a smirk.

“Oh! Hello!”

They both jump, looking towards the living room where Kira has just appeared. “Kira?” Theo questions.

“I’ve interrupted something,” Kira says. “Apologies. But Bobby has requested you both come to Danny’s.”

“Right now?” Liam asks.

“He did say at once,” Kira says.

Theo sighs and rests his head on Liam’s shoulder, “Okay. Thank you, Kira.”

She pops out of existence and Theo pulls back to look at Liam. He leans in and kisses him softly and Liam sighs, sinking into it. “Bobby has the worst timing,” Liam mumbles against his lips.

Theo laughs, “He does.”

“We can pick this up later though,” Liam smirks. “I didn’t go through the awkwardness of asking Kira for lube for nothing.”

“You did what?” Theo asks.

“What? I thought eventually we might…”

Theo kisses him again, pouring every ounce of affection he feels for Liam into this kiss. “You are something else, you know that?”

“Is that a good or bad thing?” Liam asks him.

“Good,” Theo says. “Definitely good.”

They pull themselves up and out of bed, and work on making themselves presentable. Liam laces his fingers through Theo’s as they make their way down the path towards Danny and Scott’s house. 

The rest of the neighborhood is already gathered in the living room when they enter. Bobby smiles when he sees them walk in, but it’s not the same grin Theo is used to seeing. This one is sadder.

“Bobby,” Theo says, walking towards the front with Liam. “What’s going on?”

“I’ve figured out the source of the problems here,” Bobby says. “I have spent days mulling it over and trying to pinpoint what went wrong. It wasn’t until my talk with you, Theo, that I finally figured it out.”

“You know what’s wrong here?” Danny asks.

“I do,” Bobby says. “I know what doesn’t belong here in The Good Place.”

Theo’s heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of its chest, it’s pumping so hard. Liam squeezes his hand. He knows what they’re both afraid of. That he’s about to tell everyone that Theo doesn’t belong here. That he’s an imposter. 

But what he says next shocks them all.

“It’s me,” Bobby says. “I’m the cause of all the problems here.”

“What?” Liam and Theo ask together.

“I don’t belong here,” Bobby says. “I never have. Architects don’t live in the neighborhoods they create, and now we know why.”

“What does this mean?” Danny asks.

“It means I will be retiring,” Bobby says.

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad,” Liam says.

“Oh no, it’s just going to consist of an eternity of torture.”

“What?” Theo says. “Bobby no, you can’t.”

“It’s the only way,” Bobby says. “I’ve messed things up, and this is the only way to fix it. But I assure you, after I’m gone that things will be fine again.”

Guilt courses through Theo. Bobby thinks he’s the cause of the problems, and he’s going to retire? He’s going to subject himself to torture for an eternity to fix it? He’s not even human and he’s showing he’s far better than Theo. Theo opens his mouth, prepared to say something, anything. But then Liam squeezes his hand again. He looks to Liam and Liam shakes his head.

“Don’t do it,” Liam tells him. “We’ll think of something.”

“Liam…”

“Not now,” Liam says, tightening his hand in Theo’s. “Please.”

Theo takes a deep breath and nods, even as the guilt threatens to consume him. First, over what Bobby is doing, and then over Liam. Smart, beautiful, wonderful Liam who had never told a lie when Theo met him. He’s been helping Theo be good, but what is Theo turning him into?

“How long do we have?” Danny asks.

“Kira is the only one that can initiate my retirement,” Bobby says. “I’ll have her do it tonight.”

“Then we must throw you a party,” Danny says.

“You want to throw him a party when he’s about to sacrifice himself for an eternity of torture?” Liam asks.

“It’ll be a farewell party,” Danny says. “So we can show Bobby how much he means to all of us before he goes.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Bobby says.

“I want to,” Danny says. “All of us do. It’s the least we can do considering what you’re about to do for us.”

“There’s no real choice here,” Bobby says. “It’s either me, or this neighborhood falling apart. I can’t let that happen to any of you. It’s the right thing to do.”

Each word pierces through Theo’s chest. It is the right thing to do. He knows Bobby is right. But he’s not the one that should be making that sacrifice. Theo turns and leaves the room, Liam making an excuse and following behind him.

He’s halfway down the street when Liam finally runs to catch up, “Theo! Theo wait!”

“I’m going home,” Theo tells him.

“Okay, but can you slow down?” Liam asks him, jogging to keep up with him. 

Theo slows his pace to match Liam’s, but he doesn’t say anything. He keeps his gaze focused straight ahead. He can feel Liam’s eyes on him though, and knows he’s looking. Once they’re inside Theo closes the door and locks it. He doesn’t sit down. He can’t. He’s filled with too much nervous energy. 

“I can’t let him sacrifice himself,” Theo says. “Not knowing that he’s not the real problem here. I am.”

“But if you tell them, then you could get sent to the Bad Place,” Liam argues.

“If I don’t say anything and Bobby sends himself to have an eternity of torture then I forking deserve the Bad Place!”

“You don’t,” Liam says. He steps in front of Theo to stop his pacing and takes his face in his hands. “You don’t deserve the Bad Place.”

“And Bobby doesn't deserve to be tortured for my mistakes,” Theo says. “And you…”

“What about me?”

“Would you really let him go?” Theo asks. “Could you do that?”

“No,” Liam says. “But I can’t let you go either.”

Theo rests his head against Liam’s, “I don’t know what we’re supposed to do here.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Liam tells him. “We have until midnight tonight. That’s when Bobby is having Kira retire him.”

Kira. 

“Kira’s the answer to this,” Theo says.

“What?”

“If anyone knows who can stop this, it’s Kira,” Theo says. “Kira!”

Kira appears in the room and smiles. “Hi there!”

“Kira, is there any way to stop you from sending Bobby to his retirement?”

“There is only one way,” Kira tells them. “Unless Bobby himself tells me not to.”

“What is it?”

“You have to kill me,” Kira says, still sounding chipper as she says it.

Liam’s eyes widen, “Kill you? You can die?”

“All Kiras have a kill switch,” Kira says. “And only myself and Bobby know where it is here.”

“Can you take us there?” Theo asks.

“Theo,” Liam says. “Are you sure about this?”

“No,” Theo says. “But I can’t let Bobby be tortured for me either.”

“But you’re talking about killing someone,” Liam says.

“Not a person,” Kira says. “And I won’t really die. I’ll just be rebooted.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Theo says. “So can you bring us there?”

“Sure!”

Theo blinks and the next moment they’re standing in a field near a lake. There’s a bowl in the middle of the field with a big red button on it. Theo takes a deep breath and moves towards it.

“No please!” Kira shouts, startling him. “Please don’t kill me! Please!” When Theo stops moving, she stops screaming. “I can’t really die. This is just a built in safeguard to stop people from rebooting me for the wrong reasons.”

“Right,” Theo says. He shrugs his shoulder and reaches out again for the button

Kira starts screaming again. “Please Theo! Please think of my family. Think of the children.” A photo appears in Kira’s hands of Kira with three kids and a husband. “I don’t actually have a family,” Kira adds.

“But that sure is effective,” Liam mutters. “Theo I don’t know about this.”

“Can you think of another way?” Theo asks him.

Liam shakes his head. He spins in a circle and tugs at his hair. “No but, this still feels wrong. We’re killing her.”

“Again, I’m not really dying,” Kira says. 

“Yeah, but you sure make a good case,” Liam says.

Kira smiles, “Thank you.”

Theo moves forward again and this time Kira starts wailing as she falls to her knees. She holds out the picture for them to see and begs Theo not to hit the kill switch. Even knowing that she won’t actually be dying, Theo hesitates. He bites his lip and turns to Liam. “This feels wrong.”

“I told you,” Liam says. “If there’s another way, we’ll find it, okay?”

Theo nods, “Okay. We should.”

“Hey guys!” 

They turn to see Scott walking towards them. He grins as he looks around at all of them. Then his eyes land on the button. “Ooh what’s that? Can I touch it?”

He moves to touch it and Liam shouts, jumping between Scott and the button. Scott doesn’t reach it, but Liam stumbles and flies forward, his hand landing on the button hard. Theo’s eyes widen and he looks to Kira, who has frozen. She falls over and doesn’t move. 

“Oh no,” Liam says. “What did I do?”

“It was an accident,” Theo tells him. 

“I killed Kira!”

“Bro,” Scott says slowly. “Not cool.”

They look to the sky at the sound of Kira’s voice to see her projected there. Her words send a chill through Theo. “Attention: I have been murdered.”

She repeats the words and Theo has no doubt they’re being projected all throughout the neighborhood. “No one said that would happen,” Liam says.

“Mother forking shirt balls,” Theo mutters. He gently pushes Scott towards the path and grabs Liam’s hand. “We need to go.”

“Where?” Liam asks.

“We’re going to sneak back into the party,” Theo says.

“You really want to go to the party right now?” Liam asks, incredulous. “Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, hiding?”

“Hiding will make us look guilty,” Theo says. “And besides, we need to know what’s going on there.”

“True,” Liam says. “Okay, back to the party it is.”

The party is in chaos when they sneak in. No one notices them slipping in through the back thankfully. “Everyone remain calm!” Bobby is shouting, as people talk loudly over each other, trying to figure out what happened. Kira’s message is still playing outside. 

“Who killed Kira?” Danny says. “And _how_?”

“That’s what we’re going to figure out,” Bobby says.

“But you’re leaving tonight, Bobby,” Danny says. “And if there’s a killer here…”

“There isn’t a killer,” Bobby says. “But there is clearly a problem beyond myself. Which means, I’ll remain in the neighborhood to figure it out.”

They keep talking and Theo stands there, so many different thoughts and emotions running through him. The biggest one being that this is his fault. All of it is. He’s caused all these problems, and then instead of facing them, he’d killed Kira. Maybe not himself, but he was going to. And because of that Liam had been the one to do it.

He turns to Liam and smiles sadly. He can tell the moment Liam realizes what he’s about to do because he shakes his head. “No. Theo…”

Theo kisses him, slow and deep, knowing that after this he might not get an opportunity. Then he’s taking a step back, away from Liam. “I love you.”

It’s the first time Theo has ever said those words like this. The first time he’s truly meant them. Liam shakes his head and tears fall down his cheeks. “Theo, please.”

“You’ve been the best part of my existence,” Theo tells him. “Thank you.”

He turns and walks to the front of the room where Bobby is standing. He takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. “Attention! Can I have everyone’s attention please?” The chatter carries on and Theo frowns. “Quiet!”

Everyone turns to him. Bobby especially, who looks at him confused. “What are you doing Theo?”

“I have to say something,” Theo says. “And it’s important.”

“Surely it can wait until after we’ve figured out who killed Kira,” Bobby says.

“It can’t,” Theo says. “Because I know what the cause of all the problems here is.”

“You do?”

“I do,” Theo says. He keeps his eyes on Liam as he speaks, needing his support through this. He’s not going to run though. He can’t. He’s spent most of his life running and avoiding his problems. It’s about time he did the right thing. “I’m the problem. I don’t belong here. I was brought to The Good Place by mistake.”

There’s murmuring from around the room as everyone eyes Theo curiously. Bobby frowns, “What are you talking about Theo?”

“Exactly what I said,” Theo tells him. “I wasn’t supposed to be here.”

“How long have you known this?” Bobby asks him.

“A while,” Theo says. “I thought I could be better and maybe deserve to be here. I was also scared and…” he looks at Liam and gives him a tearful smile. He was falling in love. “I’m sorry. You all trusted me and I betrayed that trust.”

“You certainly did,” Bobby says.

“So what are you going to do?” Theo asks.

“You can’t send him to the Bad Place,” Liam says.

“And why not?” Bobby asks. “If he’s the reason for all the problems here.”

“Yes, sending him away would make everything go back to normal again,” Greenberg says.

“Shut up Greenberg,” Liam mutters.

“I understand your feelings might be making this hard for you, Liam,” Bobby says.

“He at least deserves a chance,” Liam says. “Please Bobby.”

“I need time,” Bobby says. “I need to talk to each of you concerning Kira’s death. And then we’ll figure out what to do about Theo.”

“What am I supposed to do until then?” Theo asks.

“Go home and get some sleep,” Bobby says. He looks between Theo and Liam. “Spend time together. This might be your last night here, after all.”

Theo swallows thickly and nods. He walks out of the room, feeling everyone’s eyes on him as he goes. He can hear his neighbors, people who used to be his friends, asking Bobby if he’s really just going to let him go. But it’s not like Theo can run away. Not even if he wanted to. He’s stuck here and has to face his problems. 

Liam follows him out of the house and down the street. He’s quiet. Too quiet. Theo knows he must have a lot he wants to say, but he doesn't. When they get inside, Theo sighs and turns to Liam. “Look I know you’re probably furious with me, but can we just…”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Liam is on him. He kisses Theo, hard and desperate. A desperation Theo feels within his bones. He pulls at Theo’s clothes, ripping his shirt in a haste to get it off, as he shoves him back towards the bed. 

“I’m so forking furious with you,” Liam mutters between kisses. “So furious.”

They fall back on the bed and Liam straddles him, pressing him down into the mattress. Liam takes his face in his hands and looks at him, his blue eyes wide and earnest. “I love you.”

The sounds of those words falling from Liam’s lips breaks something in him. He surges forward and kisses Liam. He pulls him closer, raking his nails down Liam’s back, and Liam groans against his lips. They make love that night and it’s better than anything Theo’s ever felt. It’s raw and real and full of every ounce of love and grief they’re feeling. Theo’s crying by the end, and Liam is too, as they cling to each other.

“I don’t want to leave you,” Theo whispers into Liam's neck.

Liam cradles his head in his hands and kisses his forehead. “I know. I know.”

Neither of them sleep. Both of them are too afraid that when they close their eyes morning will come far too soon, and they’ll be left to face Bobby’s decision. Theo knows what it has to be. He doesn’t belong here. The world is falling apart with him in it. It would be irresponsible to let him stay.

“I could come with you,” Liam whispers into the darkness.

Theo just holds him tighter, “You can’t. I can’t let you do that.”

“I would for you though,” Liam says.

“I know,” Theo says. “But you don’t deserve that place, Liam.”

“Neither do you,” Liam says. “Maybe you did before, but you don’t now. That should count for something.”

It should. Theo knows that. He wishes it were enough that he’s been better. Been changing. Maybe they can plead his case to Bobby and convince him. But is it worth the risk of everyone here? Theo doesn’t know. He thinks of what brought him here, down this path. Sure, it started with his parents but there’s something else. Something that dug deep into him and cracked him to pieces that he’s never been able to put back together. Not until now. Being with Liam is the first time he’s ever felt close to being whole. To not being the broken mess he was when he was alive.

* * *

_ Yelling. That’s all Theo ever hears these days. All he’s ever known really. Yelling and doors slamming and his parents drinking too much. His sister, Tara has been there through it all. She’s always been the person he could turn to when things got too bad. _

_ Except lately she’s been spending less and less time at home. Not that Theo can blame her. He wouldn’t be here either if he could drive. _

_ He hears Tara stomping down the hall to her room and then the sound of the front door slamming before their parents' car peels out of the driveway. Theo waits another few minutes before quietly creeping out of the room and down the hall to Tara’s room. _

_ He knocks on the door and a moment later it opens to reveal Tara. She wipes at her eyes before turning away. “What do you want, Theo?” _

_ “Are you okay?” Theo asks, his voice quiet. _

_ “Fine,” Tara says. “I’m just…” she stops and takes a deep breath. “I’m sick of all this, you know? I’m sick of them. Sometimes I hate that I was born into this family.” _

_ Theo frowns, “Are you sick of me?” _

_ Tara spins around to face him, her eyes wide in what looks like horror. She kneels in front of him and puts her hands on his shoulders. “No, Theo. Of course not. You are the only thing that ever makes any of this bearable. I love you so much. No matter that they might say or how they make you feel, I need you to remember you’re such a smart and special boy. Okay?” _

_ Theo nods, “Okay.” _

_ She stands up and moves back to her dresser. It’s only then that he realizes she’s packing. “Are you going somewhere?” _

_ “I’m going to stay with some friends for a while,” Tara tells him. “But you’ll still see me, okay? We can hang out after school. Maybe go get some ice cream. How’s that sound?” _

_ “You know I love ice cream,” he says. _

_ She smiles and ruffles his hair, “I know you love ice cream. And pizza.” _

_ “Can we get both?” _

_ “Of course,” Tara says. “You can’t have ice cream without pizza.” _

_ Theo knows enough by then to know that you can. Plenty of people do. But it’s become a thing of theirs. Every time they go out for pizza, they always get ice cream after.  _

_ He doesn’t see Tara for a few days after that. Not until she shows up to his school after he gets out and tells him to get in. He does. It’s not like his parents will notice if he comes home late, or even if he doesn’t come home at all. _

_ She drives them to their favorite pizza place and they order their usual, pepperoni stuffed crust with cheese sticks. Tara always lets him have the most of the cheesesticks. She’s just an awesome sister like that.  _

_ She’s quieter than usual though. She keeps checking her phone and frowning.  _

_ “Is something wrong?” Theo asks her.  _

_ She looks up, startled, and puts her phone down. “Nothing. Sorry. You now have my full attention.” _

_ And he does. She asks him about his classes and listens as he talks about the project he’s working on. He still can’t help but notice how fidgety she is though. And even when she doesn’t pick up her phone, she still looks at it a lot. _

_ When they’re done at the pizza place they walk across the street to the ice cream parlor. Theo gets his usual vanilla with strawberries and chocolate chips. Tara doesn't get anything. _

_ “When are you coming home?” he asks her as he eats. _

_ “I don’t know if I am,” she says quietly. _

_ “What? But you have to!” _

_ “I don’t,” Tara says. “I can’t. I can’t live with them anymore Theo. When you’re a little older you’ll understand that, and want to get out too.” _

_ “But I’ll still see you right?” he asks her. _

_ She smiles and kisses his head, “Of course. We have to have our pizza and ice cream dates.” _

_ “I love you,” he tells her when she drops him off. _

_ “I love you too,” she says and hugs him tightly. “You be good, okay?” _

_ “I will,” he tells her. _

_ He doesn’t see Tara again. A few days later, the cops show up at their house. His parents send him to his room, but he sneaks out anyway and listens at the end of the hall. The cops tell them that they found Tara’s car submerged in water. It had been there a few days. She’d been drinking and lost control. _

_ Her face haunts him after that. He thinks of the last time he saw her and wonders if she knew that day that she was going to die. If everything she did was her way of saying goodbye. _

* * *

Theo wakes with a feeling of dread in his stomach. He can’t shake it. He spends as much time as he can in bed, curled up with Liam. And Liam doesn’t rush him to get up like he normally would. Instead he just holds him closer and peppers soft kisses across his skin. Theo is grateful for it. 

When the knock at the door comes, they both get up. They dress in silence. Before they answer it, Liam pulls Theo in for a slow, lingering kiss. “No matter what happens, remember I love you.”

Theo tries his best to smile, “I love you too.”

They open the door to see Danny and Scott standing there. Which is honestly a relief. At least it’s two people he considers friends. He’s not walking into this alone.

“Bobby has requested our presence,” Danny says. “He wants to question us about Kira.”

“Even Scottsani?” Theo asks.

Danny rolls his eyes, “Please, I know his real name is Scott and he’s not a monk. I found his secret hide out a few days ago. It was all a bit of a shock. Especially that I no longer have a soulmate.” He looks between Theo and Liam, taking in their clasped hands. “You two aren’t soulmates and seem to be fine.”

“We feel for each other the old fashioned way I guess,” Liam says.

“Well, that’s nice,” Danny says. “Unfortunately, that won’t be happening for me here. Not with everyone else paired up.”

“You still have me,” Scott says.

“Lovely.”

Theo and Liam share a look, and Theo can tell Liam is fighting back a laugh. One he unfortunately doesn’t manage to hold in. He busts out laughing, and soon Theo follows him. They cling to each other, trying to help keep the other standing as they laugh.

“I don’t see what’s so funny,” Danny says. “My love life is in shambles.”

“I’m sorry,” Theo says. “I’m just probably going to be sentenced to a lifetime of torture and never see Liam again, but sure let’s worry about your love life.”

“I suppose it is a small problem now in the grand scheme of things,” Danny says. “And I wouldn’t be so sure Bobby’s going to send you to the Bad Place. He likes you.”

“No, he liked me,” Theo says. “When he thought I was the Theo meant for this place.”

“I think he still does,” Danny says.

“Yeah man, otherwise why wouldn’t he have just sent you away?” Scott asks.

He raises a good point. Bobby easily could have just sent Theo away last night, but he didn’t. Theo doesn’t want to have too much hope. It’s never done much for him. But that has to mean something.

“I suppose we should go,” Theo says. “Get this over with.”

They walk together through town. The streets are surprisingly empty, but Theo catches a curtain moving every now and then. They reach the building Bobby’s office is in and take the elevator up to the top floor. The waiting area looks the same. The message on the wall still declares everything is fine. Which is funny considering how far from fine everything feels right now. 

Danny is the one to knock on the door. It opens a moment later to reveal a disgruntled looking Bobby. His hair is a mess, along with his suit. He doesn’t look like he’s slept at all. He blinks out at them in surprise. “Is it morning already?”

“It is,” Liam says.

“You wanted to see me,” Theo says.

“All of you,” Bobby says. “I have questions about Kira’s murder.” Of course he does. He looks at Danny. “You can come first.”

“Me?” Danny asks. “I don’t know anything about it.”

“But one of you does,” Bobby says. “You were all gone when it happened. So I’m going to figure out where you were and which one of you killed Kira.”

Theo frowns. He knows Scott hadn’t been at the house when Kira was killed, but where was Danny? Unless… Had Danny followed Scott? How much did he know?

Bobby turns and walks back into the office, calling over his shoulder, “When you’re ready!”

“Danny,” Theo whispers, pulling him away from the door. “What do you know?”

Danny raises an eyebrow, “What? You want to know if I’m going to rat you out?”

“I didn’t kill Kira,” Theo says.

“No, but he did.” His eyes land on Liam, whose own eyes widen in return. “Relax, I know it was an accident. Which is why I won’t tell Bobby. Who you do need to worry about is him.” He looks at Scott, who seems completely oblivious to the situation at hand. 

“Bobby still thinks Scott doesn’t speak,” Theo says.

“Just hope he doesn’t blow it,” Danny says. “Now I should get in there and spin my tale, while you three get yours in order.”

He walks away, leaving Theo, Liam, and Scott alone. The door closes behind him, and Theo pulls Liam over to a pair of seats.

“I know you don’t want to lie,” Theo says. “But Liam, if he finds out what you did…”

“It was an accident,” Liam says. “Maybe he’ll understand that.”

“But you’ll have to tell him _why_ we were there,” Theo says. He closes his eyes. He can’t ask Liam to lie. He’s already caused him enough conflict over everything. “I understand if you need to tell him the truth. I can’t ask you to lie for me.”

“Telling him the truth could get you sent away,” Liam whispers. “I don’t want that.”

“I know but…”

“No buts,” Liam says. “It’ll make me miserable, but I won’t tell him.”

“So what will you tell him?” Theo asks.

“That we snuck out together because we wanted time to ourselves,” Liam says. “Because you felt guilty about Bobby sacrificing himself.”

“Close enough to the truth to work,” Theo says.

Liam smiles, “Exactly.”

“So what do I tell him?” Scott asks.

“Nothing,” Theo says. “You don’t talk, remember?”

“Oh right,” Scott says. “So I just keep pretending to be Scottsani, and don’t say anything.”

“Exactly,” Theo says. “Can you do that?”

Scott nods, “Yeah dude. I think I can manage.”

Theo hopes he can. He already came close to just admitting the truth before. There’s no way of being certain he won’t do it again. 

Theo still hates lying though. He feels like he’s taking a major step back here after all the good he’s done. But he did come clean. That has to count for something.

Theo’s not sure how long it takes before the door opens and Danny walks out. He smiles and gives them a thumbs up on his way to the elevator. Okay. So that went well. 

“Scottsani?”

Scott gets to his feet and walks into the office, leaving Theo and Liam alone. Theo leans against Liam, resting his head on his shoulder. “Tell me something,” Theo says, glancing up at Liam.

“What?”

“Tell me something,” Theo repeats.

“Like what?” Liam asks.

“Anything,” Theo says. “Tell me something about you. From your childhood. About your parents. Your best friend. Anything.”

“Okay,” Liam says, leaning his head back against the wall. “My best friend's name was Mason. We’d known each other since we were four years old. We’d been through everything together. Even came out around the same time. He was the person I trusted most in the world besides my parents.”

“You must miss them,” Theo says.

Liam nods, “I do. Sometimes I wonder what they’re doing. I imagine my mom in the kitchen baking her famous pies while drinking a glass of wine, while my dad reads at the table. They used to dance while they cooked too. So I like to think they’re still doing that.”

“That sounds nice,” Theo says.

“It was,” Liam smiles down at him. “I wish you could have met them. I know my mom would have loved you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Theo doubts she’d be very fond of the person he used to be. Parents hated him. But this Theo? He hopes he was the type of person that could walk into Liam’s parents’ home and have them welcome him with open arms. Not that he’ll ever know that. But it’s still a nice thought.

“I wish I knew you before,” Liam says.

“I don’t,” Theo whispers.

Liam frowns, “You don’t?”

“You wouldn’t have liked who I was before,” Theo tells him. “And I would have hurt you. That’s all I knew how to do.”

“I’d like to think that if given the chance and right opportunities that you could have been good on earth,” Liam says.

“You think so?”

“I do,” Liam says. “You’ve changed here, Theo. For the better. I believe you could have down there too.”

“It would have been nice,” Theo says. “To know you then. We could have gone on dates.”

Liam smiles, “Where would you take me?”

“A history museum,” Theo says. When Liam raises an eyebrow, he laughs. “You love history. It seems like the perfect place. Someplace that makes you happy and excited.”

“I’d be both those things just being with you,” Liam tells him. 

Theo leans up and kisses him, “You’re the best guy I know.”

“You must not have known a lot of great guys,” Liam says.

“I didn’t,” Theo says. “But even if I did, you’d still be the best. I’m glad I’ve had a chance to know you, Liam.”

“Don’t act like this is going to be goodbye,” Liam says. “You still have to talk to Bobby.”

“I just want to be prepared,” Theo says.

“But you should also have hope,” Liam says. “This can work out.”

“Hope’s never really been my friend,” Theo tells him. “But being with you makes me want to have it.”

“Then have it,” Liam says. “Because I am not giving up on you. I will fight for you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Theo says. “And for the record, if it came down to it, I’d fight for you too.”

Liam smiles and kisses him again, “I know you would.”

The door opens and Scott walks out. He grimaces as he walks past and Theo’s heart drops. If possible, Bobby looks more disgruntled than before. And tired. “I will deal with you later,” Bobby calls after him.

So he had figured it out. Or Scott just outright blew his cover. The second one is probably more likely. 

“Liam,” Bobby says. “You next.”

Liam nods and gets to his feet. He looks back at Theo as he goes, and Theo tries to give him a reassuring smile. The door closes, and Theo is left alone. He’s sitting in the lobby like he was months before. Except this time it’s different. This time he’s not freshly dead and confused. He has a lot more knowledge now, and some other things the old Theo didn’t have. Hope and love and all that. He just hopes they stay with him. That they’re enough and hope doesn’t wind up abandoning him like it has so many times before. 

It seems to take forever before the door opens and Liam steps out. Theo gets to his feet, already knowing it’s his turn. Liam kisses his cheek on the way by. “Good luck.”

Theo nods and does his best to smile, “I’ll see you.”

He tries to believe it’s true. Even if each step towards the office feels like it’s bringing him further and further away from a life with Liam.


	5. Chapter 5

“Have a seat,” Bobby says, gesturing to the chair across his desk. It’s all so different from the first time Theo stepped in here, and even the many times after. For one, Bobby is not the same jovial man he’s used to. He looks serious. Too serious.

Theo takes his seat and then just sits there with his hands on his lap. Neither one says anything for a few minutes, each studying the other. 

“Kira,” Bobby says, not looking away from Theo.

Kira pops into existence next to Theo’s chair. “Hi there!”

“Kira, bring me Theo Raeken’s file please,” Bobby says.

“Sure!” 

Theo expects to see a file appear in her hands, but instead, it’s a small cactus, similar to a few others that are sitting around the room. She smiles and holds it out to Bobby. “One file.”

“That’s not a file Kira,” Bobby says, an edge to his usually calm voice. “That’s a cactus. Just like the other 20 cacti you have brought me.”

“Oh,” Kira says, looking down at the object in her hands. “Would you like it?”

“Just put it down somewhere please,” Bobby says. “And get me Theo’s file.”

“Okay!”

Instead of a file, she once again holds a cactus. This goes on at least ten more times. Each time, Bobby grows increasingly more frustrated. To Theo, he says. “She’s still in the process of rebooting, so her systems aren’t all online yet.”

“I see,” Theo says. As amusing as the cactus thing is, he does feel a little guilty.

“I talked to your friends,” Bobby says. “None of them seem to know what happened to Kira. I’m sure you’ll have the same story?”

“Yes sir,” Theo says. “I left with Liam because I was upset about you retiring and felt guilty.”

“I see,” Bobby says. “But not guilty enough to stop me.”

“But I did,” Theo says. “I came back because I wanted to admit the truth, but then everyone was freaking out about Kira. I still came clean. That has to count for something.”

Bobby sighs and runs a hand down his face. “It is, Theo. I do appreciate your honesty. And I can sympathize with your situation.”

“I feel a ‘but’ coming on,” Theo says.

“This is a unique situation,” Bobby says. “No one has ever gotten into the Good Place by accident before, and now I have not one, but two people here that shouldn’t be.” He levels Theo with a look. “Yes, I know all about Scott McCall. He caved and spoke and admitted who he was. So all the problems aren’t just on you, it seems.”

“So what are we going to do?” Theo asks.

“I don’t know,” Bobby says. “As I said, this is a unique situation. Really, I should just call the Bad Place demons to come get you. But I have gotten to know you. And I don’t like the thought of just sending you away.”

“I appreciate that,” Theo says. “I do think of you as a friend, Bobby.”

“And I think of you as a friend as well,” Bobby says. “So you can see the impossible situation this puts me in.”

“I do,” Theo says. “And I’m sorry for that.”

“Which is why I need to see your file,” Bobby says. “Your _real_ file. If I can find some good there, then maybe we can come to terms and you can stay.”

Theo nods, “Of course.”

The thing is, Theo knows he’s not going to find much good in that file. He knows what he was like when he was alive. If anything, that file is just going to seal his fate. But this traitorous, new part of him wants to hope. Not just for himself, but for Liam. For this thing they have.

Bobby turns to Kira again, “Can I please have Theo Raeken’s file, Kira. Not a cactus, but his _file_.”

“Okay! One file on Theodore Karl Raeken coming up,” Kira says. 

Theo holds his breath, waiting. He half hopes it’ll be another cactus. But he’s not that lucky. Because there in her hands, sits a file. His file. With all his deeds and misdeeds on it and ready for Bobby to look through. 

“Here you go,” Kira says, handing the file over to Bobby.

Bobby’s smile looks relieved as he takes the file from her and places it in front of him on his desk. “Thank you, Kira. That will be all.”

She pops out of existence, leaving them alone.

Bobby opens the file, looking through it. “Let’s see here. Oh, not the best family life I see. Alcoholic parents. Dead sister. How unfortunate. Were you two close?” He looks up at Theo, who swallows and nods. “I’m sorry. It must be hard losing your family like that.”

“It was,” Theo says. 

Bobby continues to flip through the pages, his growing more and more concerned. “I admit, there isn’t a lot of good here.”

“I know,” Theo says. “I umm…” he finds himself having to choke back tears. “Look, I didn’t have a lot of options. I tried. I had plans. College. A way out. But my parents…”

“They stole your college money,” Bobby says.

Theo nods. “That was my only shot.”

“I know you didn’t grow up in the best conditions,” Bobby says. “And I wish we could keep that under consideration. But all these things.” He sighs. “I don’t know what to do with this. There’s so much.”

“Maybe flip to a random page?” Theo says.

He’s not sure what that will do. But surely there’s a chance something on one of those pages is good and Bobby will find it.

Bobby nods and turns to a page towards the end, and Theo fights back a grimace. He already knows the end of his life wasn't that great.

“Let’s see,” Bobby says, and starts reading from the paper. “You borrowed your friend's expensive suit when you picked it up from the dry cleaner’s for him. Then you got a stain on the suit, and rather than taking the blame, you blamed it on the dry cleaner’s. Which then led to a lawsuit, bankrupting the dry cleaner’s, and then public humiliation for your friend when a video of them in the suit went viral. A video you posted. And then made t-shirts for and profited off their humiliation.” Bobby looks up from the file, his face appalled. “That’s horrible.”

“I know,” Theo says quickly. “I know it was but…”

“I’m sorry Theo,” Bobby sighs. “But all these things you did. I just don’t see how we can allow you to stay.”

Theo feels his heart drop, and for the first time fear, real fear, grips at his chest. “Bobby, please.”

“I have no choice,” Bobby says softly. “I’m going to call the Bad Place to come pick you up.”

Theo nods, feeling tears stinging at his eyes, but he doesn’t let them fall. Not yet. “Okay. But can I have some time to say goodbye? Please?”

Bobby smiles sadly, “Of course. Go home. You have the rest of the day. They should arrive in the morning.”

Theo gets to his feet and backs to the door, half afraid this will be some sort of trick and someone will pop out and grab him before he can leave. Once he’s out the door, he turns and runs, bypassing the elevator in favor of taking the stairs. He runs through the streets, his lungs burning, both from exertion and trying to stop himself from crying. He’s not able to hold it all in though. By the time he reaches the house, he’s sobbing. He stands there a moment, trying to compose himself. He needs to. He needs to keep it together. If not for himself, then for Liam. But no matter how hard he tries to stop crying, he can’t.

He screams and bangs on the door. He keeps at it until the door opens and he falls forward, right into Liam’s arms. Liam makes a noise of alarm, but holds him up. He backs them into the house and kicks the door closed behind him. Theo feels him reach around him, and then the sound of the door locking. It won’t do much good if they’re really determined to get in and take him. But he appreciates it all the same. 

Liam leads them over to the bed and urges Theo to sit down. Theo’s legs give out finally and he falls back on the bed. He throws his arm over his eyes as he takes a few shaky breaths. “He’s sending for them,” he chokes out, as he feels Liam working to take his shoes off. “He’s calling the Bad Place to come get me.”

Liam doesn’t speak for a while. He just takes Theo’s other shoe off and then crawls onto the bed next to him. He tugs until Theo moves further up the bed. Once Theo is on his back, he crawls on top of him, straddling him. He takes Theo’s face in his hands and kisses him. It’s then that Theo realizes Liam is crying too. 

“Liam,” he murmurs against Liam’s lips, his voice choking around the words. “Liam, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Liam tells him. “So forking much.”

Their kisses turn hard and desperate as their hands work on removing their clothes. Then there are no barriers between them. It’s them, together as one. 

Theo’s had sex with his fair share of people in his life, but none of those times have ever come close to feeling like it feels with Liam. It’s like every inch of Theo is alive when they’re together. It’s all heat and passion and love. Not something just to get him off, but to bring him and Liam closer. The thought of letting someone be this close has always terrified him, but now he’s more terrified of the thought of never having this again. Of tomorrow coming and being ripped away from Liam. Of never seeing his bright smile or blue eyes, or the adorable way he scrunches his nose and pushes up his glasses. And that there is worse than any sort of torture they could put him through in the Bad Place. 

He’s shaking by the end of it, his sobs returning as he clings to Liam. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Liam whispers against his skin. “There has to be a way to stop this.”

“I don’t see how,” Theo says. “Bobby already called them to come get me.”

“But maybe we can convince the people from the Bad Place to let you stay,” Liam says. 

“You really think someone from the Bad Place will be more open to listening than Bobby?” Theo asks. “They’re probably going to get joy out of ripping me away from here. Away from you.”

Liam sighs and rests his head against Theo’s, “I told you I’d fight for you. And I meant that. I’m not letting you go without a fight, Theo.”

“I know you won’t,” Theo says. He takes Liam’s face in his hands and brushes the stray tears from his cheeks. “And I love you for that. But…”

“But what?” Liam asks. “There shouldn’t be any buts here.”

Theo smiles at that, and Liam swats his arm. “This isn’t the time for jokes.”

“Why not?” Theo asks. “I’m about to be subjected to an eternity of torture. I have to get my humor when I can.”

“We’ll see about that,” Liam says. “Whoever they send has to get through me.”

Theo chuckles and kisses him softly, “Listen, I need to say something.”

“Okay.”

“If they do take me,” Theo says. “Even after you give them a heck of a fight. I need you to promise me something. I need you to be happy, Liam.”

“How can I be happy knowing where you are?” Liam asks.

“I know it’ll be hard, but I need to know you’re happy,” Theo says. “I don’t want you spending the rest of eternity miserable because of me. I’ve always messed things up a lot here and I can’t bear to know I’ve ruined the possibility of a happy afterlife for you. So just, for me, be happy.”

“You know I’d do anything for you,” Liam whispers.

Theo does know. Liam has shown that time and again. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You took a broken, lost man who for so long had been incapable of love, who didn’t know how to let anyone in, and you gave me hope. Something I haven’t had for a long time. Because of you, I know what it's like to love someone. To have someone actually love me. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Liam tells him. “You’ve done that enough just by being you. By loving me, and letting me love you.”

“You really have been the best part of my entire existence,” Theo tells him.

“And you have been mine,” Liam murmurs. He kisses him, softer than their heated kisses from before, but it still sends Theo’s body singing. Liam just always has that effect on him.

They stay like that the rest of the day, and all through the night, getting in as much time together as they can. They know what tomorrow is going to bring, and neither one is ready for it. 

* * *

Theo’s still awake when the sun comes up. Liam had drifted off a few hours ago, but Theo’s mind wouldn’t stop enough for him to sleep. Not that he minds. It just gives him more time to spend with Liam. Even if Liam is asleep. It gives him a chance to just look at him. To take in all the little things about him. From the slight pout on his lips to how rumpled his hair is as he rests his head on Theo’s chest. The only thing missing is his bright blue eyes. Eyes so blue that Theo sometimes feels as if he can drown in them. He’ll miss those most of all.

But he wants Liam to sleep while he can. He deserves to after everything they’ve been dealing with. He knows there’s going to be a lot of sleepless nights for both of them, and that even with Theo’s wishes, Liam will probably stay awake at night wondering about Theo. Theo knows Liam will always be on his mind. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen to him in the Bad Place, but he knows these last few months with Liam will be what he clings to in order to keep himself sane. 

“Hello.”

Theo looks towards the living room to see Kira standing there. “It’s time, isn’t it?”

Kira nods, “The train from the Bad Place has arrived. The demon Stiles is here to take you.”

Theo nods and takes a shaky breath, “Okay. I’ll be right there.”

“I’ll wait outside,” Kira tells him.

She disappears and Theo is left alone with Liam again. He’s still sleeping soundly in his arms. Theo’s heart breaks at what he’s about to do. He slips out of bed. Liam grumbles and moves closer to Theo’s side of the bed, but he doesn’t wake. Which is good. Theo doesn’t know if he’d have the strength to walk out of here if he had to say goodbye like this. 

He gets dressed as quietly as he can and writes a note, telling Liam how much he loves him. He said most of what he needed last night. He just can’t leave without at least leaving a note. That wouldn’t be fair to Liam. 

He leans down and kisses the top of his head, fighting back a sob. “I love you,” he whispers.

He wishes he could have seen Liam’s eyes one last time. Could have kissed his lips and felt his smile pressed into his skin. So many things he’s never going to experience again. 

He slips out of the house and closes the door quietly behind him. Kira is waiting just as she said she would be. “Time to go,” she says.

“Do you know how bad it is there?” Theo finds himself asking as they walk towards the train station. “I know it’s the Bad Place but I just want to know what to expect I guess.”

“Oh, it’s horrible,” Kira says. “People are put through endless cycles of torture for all eternity.”

“Endless,” Theo says. “Great.” They walk in silence for a while before Theo speaks again. “Is Bobby going to be there?”

“No, Bobby has something to take care of at his office. So it’ll just be us and Stiles.”

Theo nods. Of course Bobby wouldn’t want to be there to see him off. He probably hates Theo now after knowing all the things he did. 

They arrive at the train station to find a man that looks to be around Theo’s age leaning against one of the pillars. He’s wearing dark pants and what looks like a Batman shirt under a leather jacket. It’s all topped with a pair of dark sunglasses. He lifts his head as they approach and smirks. “So this is him then, the stowaway.”

“This is Theo,” Kira says. “Theo, that’s Stiles.”

“I’d say nice to meet you Theo, but it’s not,” Stiles says. 

“Not all that pleasant for me either, _Stiles_ ,” Theo says.

Stiles laughs, “Oh I have a feeling I am going to _love_ torturing you. Just figure out what can get you to crack like an egg and all the pain and suffering just come spilling out.”

Theo tries not to seem phased. He’s not going to let this demon see that he’s afraid. “Good luck with that. I’ve never been an easy egg to crack.”

Stiles pushes off the pillar and strides towards him. He takes Theo’s chin in his hands and grins smugly. “We’ll see about that. But even if you are as tough as you think, those like you are usually the most fun to break, because that means you have the most secrets and pain hidden just there.” He pokes Theo’s chest. “And it’s all waiting for me to expose it.”

Theo narrows his eyes, “I think you’re just all bluster.”

Stiles grins, something cold and unnerving. “You’ll see that I’m not.” He shoves Theo away and steps back. “Get on the train. We’re leaving.”

Theo turns to Kira. He wants to have her give a message to Liam, but he doesn’t want to say anything in front of Stiles. Not if that could mean giving him something to use against him. He smiles tightly and then turns away. 

He’s barely made it a few steps towards the train when he hears shouting from behind him. He turns to see Liam running towards him with Bobby, Scott, and Danny behind him.

“Stop!” Bobby says. “Stop! You can’t take him.”

“And why not?” Stiles asks. “You called me here because he doesn’t belong here, Bobby.”

“He may not have on Earth, but he does now,” Bobby says. 

“He killed your Kira,” Stiles says.

“He didn’t,” Bobby says. “And he’s working to do better. He deserves a chance to prove it.”

Stiles looks at him a moment, his eyes narrowed, before he smiles. “I suppose the matter can be discussed. On one condition.”

“What’s that?” Bobby asks.

“That I get to keep the Real Theo,” Stiles says.

The _real_ Theo? What the heck does that mean? Everyone looks just as confused as he does. Except Bobby. He looks as if he just realized something. “You mean…?”

“I do,” Stiles says. “Bad Kira! Bring him out!”

Theo isn’t sure what’s the most surprising. Another Kira walking off the train, this one dressed in all leather with bleach blonde hair, or the other person with her.

“This is the real Theo Raeken,” Stiles says. “The one that was actually meant for the Good Place until this imposter stole his spot from him.”

“I didn’t steal it,” Theo says. “I was put here by accident.”

Liam steps up to him and takes his hand, causing Stiles to smirk. “I see. And you also know that the Real Theo is your soulmate, Liam.”

Liam squeezes his hand, “He’s not the Real Theo. They’re both real.”

“Yeah but one of them is a lot more deserving of being here than the other,” Stiles says. “But you all can talk amongst yourselves and decide all that.”

“What?” Bobby asks. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, if you really want _that_ Theo to stay here, then I’m going to keep this one,” Stiles says.

“You can’t do that,” Theo says.

“Oh, I think you’ll find I can,” Stiles tells him. “It’s a fair trade. One soul for another.”

Theo thinks of that innocent man, the good Theo, having to spend an eternity in the Bad Place just because Theo wanted to stay here. It’s not fair or right. He opens his mouth, prepared to tell Stiles just to take him instead, but then Bobby steps in.

“Why don’t we talk about this someplace else?”

“Fine by me,” Stiles says. “As long as you have some whiskey.”

“I think we can manage that,” Bobby says. “And why don’t you let the Real Theo go.”

“Let him go?” Stiles asks.

“It’s not like he can go anywhere,” Bobby points out.

Stiles shrugs, “Fine. Bad Kira, untie the _Real_ Theo.”

Bad Kira groans, “Ugh. Okay. Whatever.” She unties the other Theo and shoves him away. “You disgust me. Don’t even look at me.”

“We need a place to meet,” Bobby says. He looks around, before his eyes land on Danny. “Danny! Your place is big enough.”

“My place?” Danny asks.

“Yes, you’d be willing to host the negotiations, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Danny says, smiling sweetly. “I do love hosting gatherings.”

“Perfect,” Bobby says. “Then lead the way.”

Danny walks off with Bobby, Bad Kira, and a few other demons following behind them. Once they’re gone, Liam spins around to face Theo. He looks angry. “Liam?”

Liam shoves him, “What the fork were you thinking?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You just _left_ me!” Liam hisses. “I woke up and you were gone. Gone! All you left was a note!”

“I know,” Theo says, holding his hands up and trying to placate him. “I’m sorry for that. I just…”

“What?” Liam asks, his voice breaking slightly. “You didn’t love me enough to let me say goodbye?”

“No that’s not…” Theo takes a step towards him. He takes Liam’s face in his hands and ducks his head to meet Liam’s gaze. He lowers his voice, trying to keep this moment just between them. “I love you so much. But I couldn’t say goodbye to you. Walking out that door this morning and knowing there was a big chance I’d never see you again was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But it would have been harder if you were awake. If I’d had to see your eyes looking at me and knowing I’d never see them again. I couldn’t say goodbye to you Liam. Not because I don’t love you. But because I love you so much that saying goodbye to you would have killed me.”

Liam leans up and rests his head against Theo’s, “It would have killed me too. I don’t ever want to say goodbye to you.”

_ But you might have to _ , Theo thinks. _Whether you want to or not_.

Instead he just kisses him, slow and lingering, pouring all his love for Liam into the kiss and hoping he feels it. 

A throat clears behind them, and they turn to see Scott still standing there with the other Theo nearby, looking between the two of them in confusion. 

“So what do we do with him?” Scott asks.

Right. The other Theo. The one that actually belongs here. Whose life Theo has stolen. 

“I guess you’re coming home with us,” Liam says. He pulls away from Theo and walks towards the other Theo. He sticks out his hand and smiles. “I’m Liam. it’s nice to meet you.”

The other Theo smiles and shakes his hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, Liam. I’m Theo. Though I think you already know that.” His eyes drift to Theo’s. “It’s nice to meet you as well, Theo. And you…?” he looks to Scott, whose attention is focused elsewhere as he looks around at a butterfly flying nearby.

“That’s Scott,” Theo says. 

“Nice to meet you Scott,” the other Theo says, a little louder.

Scott blinks and his gaze drifts towards where Liam and the other Theo are standing. “What?”

“He said it was nice to meet you,” Liam says.

“Oh right,” Scott says. “You too, Real Theo.”

Theo frowns. Is everyone going to call him the Real Theo now? He doesn’t see how he’s anymore real than he is. Even if he is the one that was supposed to be here. Theo still exists.

“Just Theo is fine,” the other Theo says.

“Okay, Just Theo,” Scott says.

“No I meant,” he trails off with a chuckle. “You know what? That might make it less confusing since there are two of us.”

“True,” Liam laughs.

He looks down, and Theo doesn’t miss the slight blush on his cheeks when he realizes they’re hands are still clasped between them. He lets go, clears his throat, and steps back. “I suppose we should go. We can show you the neighborhood as we go.”

He walks off, telling the other Theo about all the frozen yogurt places in the neighborhood. Theo watches them go, feeling a knot forming in his stomach. One he’s not familiar with, but doesn’t like one bit.

“Dude,” Scott says quietly. “I think you’ve been replaced bro.”

Theo glares at him, “He hasn’t replaced me.”

“Then why’d he just walk off without you?”

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “He was distracted. You know how Liam gets when he’s excited about things.”

“He’s excited about talking about frozen yogurt?” Scott questions.

Theo huffs out an annoyed breath and stomps off. Scott is quick to follow. He can see Liam walking ahead. The other Theo says something and Liam throws his head back and laughs. They keep walking ahead towards home, but Theo turns right. He takes the path through the park and walks. It’s getting hard to breathe suddenly, which part of his brain tells him is ridiculous because does this body even have lungs? 

He sits down in the middle of the clearing. A spot where not so long ago he laid with Liam and they had their first real kiss. They’ve been back here a few times since then. It’s become one of their favorite spots to go together. Except now Theo sits here, alone, while Liam is off in their house with the other Theo. The Theo that was meant for him. His soulmate. 

He hears footsteps on the pavement behind him but he doesn’t turn. He hopes it’s just a neighbor and they’ll keep going and leave him alone. But then he hears a familiar voice. “You know, I thought I recognized you.”

Laura.

He turns to see her standing on the sidewalk, her arms crossed as she glares at him. “But then I thought, there’s no way that the Theo Raeken that was so cruel to my brother would wind up here.”

“Laura…”

“Don’t,” Laura sneers. “Don’t try and give me some bullshirt. You broke his heart. He deserved so much better than you gave him.”

“I know,” Theo says. “I was never good enough for Derek.”

“Darn right you weren’t,” Laura says. “My only solace is knowing that soon you’ll be subjected to the worst kinds of torture for all eternity. And Liam? He’ll get to move on and be happy with the Real Theo. The one he’s supposed to be with. Not some imposter.”

“I'm not an imposter,” Theo says. “I’m still Theo. Just because there’s another one doesn’t mean I’m not real.”

“No,” Laura says. “But you’re not meant for this place. You can try and convince everyone that you’ve changed, but we all know that’s not true. You’re the same selfish person you’ve always been.”

“Shut up,” he mutters.

She laughs, “You don’t even have a way to defend yourself against my claims, because you know they’re true.”

“They’re not,” Theo says. “I just don’t have to defend myself to you.”

“Maybe not,” Laura says. “You can think whatever you want, Theo. Soon you’ll be in so much pain you won’t be able to think at all. Not of Liam. Not of anything.” she gives one last laugh before walking away, calling over her shoulder as she goes, “Enjoy your eternity Theo. it’ll be exactly what you deserve.”

Theo’s hands shake at his sides and he clenches them into fists, trying to calm himself down. He tells himself that she’s wrong. That she was only speaking out of anger. But there’s a part of him that believes she’s right. He was such a selfish ashhole when he was alive. He hurt so many people. Maybe an eternity of suffering is what he deserves. 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Liam’s face comes to mind. His bright blue eyes and smile that is sometimes so bright it reminds Theo of sunshine. So much about him does. He’s beautiful and brilliant and Theo is constantly in awe of him. Of how someone can be so good. Can have such a big heart and so much love to give. How someone like him could fall for someone like Theo. 

He’s been lucky. He knows that. So lucky to have wound up here in this place with Liam. Even if sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in on him, he’s still had Liam to cling to in that darkness. At least for a short while. He’ll always be thankful for that.

* * *

He walks into the house to see Liam sitting on the couch with the other Theo. They both look up when he walks in. 

“Theo!” Liam says. His grin slowly falls from his face as he takes him in. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Theo says, doing his best to smile even as he feels like he’s still breaking apart. “I’m fine.”

Liam stands up and walks towards him. He reaches out to touch him, but Theo backs away. Liam’s frown deepens. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Theo says. “It’s just been a hard day. You know? Have to face my possible eternity of torture and all that.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Liam says quietly. 

Theo nods, “I know you’ll do everything you can.”

“Of course I will.” 

He leans up and kisses him softly. Theo pulls back sooner than he’d like, but he’s all too aware of the other Theo in the room. “I’m going to shower,” he tells Liam.

“Okay,” Liam says. “I can have Kira bring us some pizza? I think she’s back to functioning now.”

“Sounds good,” Theo says. “No peanut butter.”

Liam chuckles, “No peanut butter.”

He grabs some clothes from the dresser and walks to the bathroom. He can hear Liam and the other Theo talking and tries not to listen. He turns the water on and quickly gets undressed while it heats up. He sighs as he steps under the spray and feels the water hit his skin. It drives a little of the tension away and he feels himself start to relax. Thankfully. He needs a clear head for what’s coming. 

They eat, and the other Theo tells them a little about his life. How he spent his life volunteering and helping animals. How he’s a vegan, of course, so Kira had brought him a salad instead. All these wonderful things. It’s no surprise he belongs here. No surprise he’s the one that the universe had paired Liam with. 

The other Theo sleeps on the couch that night while Theo and Liam crawl into bed. Theo’s all too aware of his presence as Liam curls up against him. “He seems nice,” Theo says.

“Oh yeah,” Liam says. “He’s great. Can you believe all the humanitarian work he did?”

“It’s a lot,” Theo says. More than he ever did certainly. “He’s a real saint.”

“He’s still just a person, Theo. Just like you and me.”

“Maybe closer to you than me,” Theo mutters.

Liam looks up at him with a frown, “Where is your head at? You’ve seemed off ever since you got home. And where did you go, by the way? I turned around and you were just gone.”

“I went to the park,” Theo says. “I needed to clear my head a bit. I’m sorry if I’ve been off. It’s just everything that’s been happening is getting to me, I guess.”

Liam nods, his face full of so much understanding it hurts. “I get that. But you know you can talk to me, right? Whatever you’re feeling, I’m here for you.”

Theo kisses him softly, “I know.”

It feels weird sleeping together with Liam like this, knowing that the other Theo is nearby. But eventually, mostly thanks to his exhaustion of the last few days, sleep does claim him. It’s fitful, his dreams full of images of Liam and the other Theo wrapped up in each other. In the dreams, Liam laughs as the other Theo chases him around the park, before eventually tackling him to the ground. He looks at Theo and smirks and tells him none of this was ever his before kissing Liam.

Theo wakes early. The sun is barely in the sky outside. He slips out of bed and grabs his clothes before sneaking to the bathroom to get dressed. When he comes out, he’s surprised to see Liam sitting on the end of the bed, fully dressed. Theo opens his mouth, but he shakes his head. He stands up and walks to the door, leaving Theo to follow him. 

They walk to the park and Liam leads him to the middle of the clearing and takes a seat. Theo sits next to him, waiting. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Liam finally asks, breaking the silence.

“About what?” 

“What’s on your mind,” Liam says. “Something clearly is. I know a lot has been happening and you’re worried, but you’re acting differently.”

“I’m sorry,” Theo sighs. “I don’t mean to be weird with you. I’m just stressed about this whole thing. And then last night…”

‘What?”

“Laura came to talk to me when I was out here,” Theo says. “She had some things to get off her chest.”

Liam frowns, “About what?”

“Her brother,” Theo says. He looks at the sky for something to do. “I knew him, Liam.”

“You knew Laura’s brother?” 

“Yeah, we dated for a while,” Theo says. “It didn’t end well. I… He was the first person that ever really threatened to break my walls down. We got close. Closer than I ever let anyone get in a relationship. Then one night, as we were falling asleep, he told me he loved me. I pretended to be asleep, but I heard him. And it scared me. Rather than being an adult and facing that, I started avoiding him. I cheated on him. He caught me. And I basically laughed in his face and told him I could never love him. I broke his heart. I hurt him like I hurt everyone.”

“You haven’t hurt me,” Liam whispers.

Theo laughs, “Not yet. I don’t want to. I love you. You’re the last person that I’d ever want to hurt. But it’s like there’s something broken inside me and I’m trying to fix it, but I’m scared. I’m scared I’m going to ruin this like I ruin everything else.

Liam moves until he’s kneeling in front of Theo and takes his face in his hands, “You won’t.”

“You don’t know that,” Theo whispers.

“Maybe not,” Liam says. “But I know you. Sure, I didn’t know the guy you were. But I know _you_. The you that loves pizza and old game shows and sunsets. Who secretly likes to read even though you won’t admit it. The guy who constantly takes my breath away and makes my heart race.”

Theo kisses him, sitting in the middle of the park, in their spot. He doesn’t have the words to tell Liam just how much this means to him. How much _he_ means to him. So he tries to show him, hoping that will be enough, and that Liam can understand. 

* * *

They run into Stiles on their way back home. He smirks when he sees them. “Ah how sweet to see you two together. But tell me, where is the Real Theo.”

“The _other_ Theo is at our house,” Liam.

“Oh, so you didn’t want to bring him on your little outing?” Stiles asks. “Make it a threesome? Now that could be interesting?”

“Do you want something Stiles?” Theo asks.

“Only for you to suffer for an eternity,” Stiles smiles. “But until then, dinner tonight will do.”

“You want us to have dinner?”

“Yes, the four of us,” Stiles says. “You, me, Liam, and the Real Theo.”

Theo knows he’s just calling the other Theo the Real Theo to mess with him. So he doesn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he asks, “Why would we want to have dinner with you?”

“Because we’re all going to become besties,” Stiles says. “And really, what choice do you have here? You come to dinner or I’ll drag you off to the Bad Place right now.”

“You can’t do that,” Liam says, taking a step in front of Theo.

Stiles laughs, “Oh I can. And I would be _thrilled_ to do it. But if you come to dinner, you get one more night here together. At least until my boss arrives.”

“Your boss?” Liam asks.

“Ah yes, you don’t know because you weren’t there,” Stiles says. “We called in my boss, Peter. He’s a judge. He’ll be hearing your case to stay here, Theo. So, you better make it a good one or else, well, an eternity of torture awaits you.”

It takes everything in Theo not to just punch Stiles in his smug face. He deserves it. But instead he forces on a smile. “What time for dinner?”

“Oh, I think 7 sharp should do it,” Stiles says. “We’ll be eating at Greenberg’s, of course.”

“It is the only real restaurant here,” Theo points out.

“I do hope it’s good,” Stiles says. “I’m quite picky about how tender my meat is. I like it bloody. But I’m sure you’ll be finding that out soon enough.”

He winks and walks away, leaving Theo and Liam alone. Theo sighs and rests his head on Liam’s shoulder. “I swear, just having to hear that guy talk for an eternity would be torture enough.”

Liam chuckles and rubs his back, “I would never let you be subjected to that.”

They eventually go home. The other Theo is already awake and Kira is there as well. She has breakfast on the table in the living room. It looks like a bunch of pastries and juice, though also pancakes and waffles.

“Oh waffles,” Liam says when he sees them. “I love waffles.”

“We should have more than enough,” the other Theo says. “I wasn’t sure what you all liked, so I just had Kira bring an assortment.”

“It all looks so good,” Liam says. He sits down on the couch next to the other Theo and grabs a plate and starts filling it up. Theo is left to sit in one of the chairs next to the table. He tries not to feel bitter about it. Liam’s just sitting on the couch with the guy. It doesn’t mean anything.

“So we ran into Stiles,” Liam says.

The other Theo looks up in interest, “Oh?”

“Yeah he wants us all to have dinner tonight,” Liam tells him.

“Dinner? With him? Why?”

“Not sure,” Theo says. “Probably just to add to our torture.”

“I try to see the best in people,” the other Theo says.

“Stiles isn’t really a person,” Kira says. “He’s a demon. And one of the worst. He has the best torture record.”

“Oh lovely,” Theo says. “Something to look forward to.”

“You’re not going there,” Liam says. “You heard what he said. His boss Peter is coming and he’s going to hear your case. This could all work out.”

“I have heard Peter is just as bad as Stiles,” the other Theo says. “If not worse.”

“Well, he’s a judge,” Liam says. “He has to be a little fair, right?”

“We can only hope,” Theo says.

“You said you have to make your case?” the other Theo asks. “Well, lucky for you, I studied law. So I’m sure I can help come up with something.”

Liam grins, “That would be great! Thanks Theo!”

The other Theo smiles, “Of course. Anything to help.”

They finish breakfast and then they start looking through books. So many books. Liam had asked Kira to bring some books on law and now their house is full of them. Though he’s not sure there’s going to be any case similar to what’s happening here. But what else are they supposed to do? They need to find something to help.

Theo looks across the room at where Liam and the other Theo are bent over one of the books on the table. Their heads are pressed close together as they read. Theo’s heart stops when he watches their eyes meet and how they both smile. 

He has to make himself look away and focus on the book in front of him. It won’t do any good to get in his head right now. 

Evening comes far too soon, and then they’re having to walk down the street to Greenberg’s restaurant. Stiles is waiting for them outside. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d show up,” Stiles says.

“Well it was either that or let you take Theo,” Liam says. “There wasn’t really a choice here.”

“Which Theo are we talking about?” Stiles asks. “The imposter or the real one?”

“They’re both real,” Liam says.

Theo sighs, “He’s just trying to get under our skin. Don’t let him.”

Stiles smirks, “Aww but it’s so fun to do.”

“Can we just go in and get this over with?” Theo asks.

Stiles does a mock bow and waves his arm towards the door, “After you.”

Theo rolls his eyes and walks into the restaurant, the others following behind. Greenberg is standing at the reception desk and eyes Theo warily. “Can I help you?”

“A table for 4 please,” Stiles says.

Greenberg looks around, as if he’s unsure if he should seat them. Theo doesn’t blame him. One of the last times Theo was here he caused a sinkhole to appear in the middle of his restaurant.

“Please Greenberg,” Liam says.

Greenberg studies his face for a moment, before nodding. He grabs four menus from behind the counter. “Follow me.”

They walk with him to the dining area, and Theo isn’t the least bit surprised when he sits them towards the back of the restaurant. “A server will be with you soon.”

He leaves before anyone can say anything. Liam slides into the booth and Theo goes to follow him, but Stiles grabs his arm and stops him. “Uh uh, you’re sitting with me.”

“But…”

“Don’t argue,” Stiles says. “Remember your fate is in my hands.”

“My fate is in the judge’s hands, not yours,” Theo says. He still slides into the booth across from Liam.

Stiles laughs and sits next to him. He throws an arm across the back of the booth and stretches out. “I wouldn’t count on Peter being your savior, Theo Raeken. I’m not sure anything can save you now.”

Theo holds back his retort, and is grateful when their server shows up to take their drink order. “Can I get a beer please?” Theo asks.

“Sure,” the woman says. “What would everyone else like?”

Both Liam and the other Theo get water, while Stiles gets whiskey. “And keep them coming,” he tells her.

“So,” Stiles says, smiling over at Liam and the other Theo. “You two must have found out you have _so_ much in common by now.”

“We haven’t really had a lot of time to talk,” the other Theo says.

“Such a shame,” Stiles says. “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time once this one is gone.”

He ruffles Theo’s head and laughs. The server puts their drinks on the table and Theo immediately reaches for his beer. He’s going to need it if he has to suffer Stiles tonight. 

“Are you always so rude?” Liam asks him. “People’s lives are at stake here.”

“Not really since they’re already dead,” Stiles says. “Just their eternal existence. And well, I’m a demon. It’s kind of my job to torture people.”

“You’re certainly good at it,” Theo mutters.

“Thank you,” Stiles says. “I take great pride in making people suffer.”

“Clearly.”

He runs his fingers across Theo’s cheek and Theo flinches, “I am going to have such fun with you. I really can’t wait to get my hands on you.”

“You’re not going to touch him,” Liam snaps.

Stiles smiles cruelly, “You think you can stop me? Dearie, he’ll be in the Bad Place. I can torture him so much that he doesn’t remember his own name let alone yours. You won’t matter. So you better just accept it and forget him.”

“Stop it!” Liam shouts, slamming his hand down on the table. 

“Liam,” the other Theo says, resting a hand on his arm. “Breathe. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Liam says. “This… this demon is being horrible. I can’t stay here and listen to these awful things.”

“We could change the subject,” Stiles suggests. “I think it’s time you two got to know about each other anyway.”

“You’re absolutely right,” the other Theo says. “I would love to know more about you.”

Liam meets Theo’s gaze and Theo nods, doing his best to smile. It’s hard though. He’s feeling pretty forking angry himself. 

Liam and the other Theo start talking and making jokes that Theo doesn’t quite understand. Theo has to sit there and try and keep the smile plastered on his face. They clearly have more in common than he and Liam do. They’re both passionate about ethics and history and spent so much of their lives doing things to help people. And what did Theo do? He screwed people over at every turn. He made people miserable, himself included. 

Liam says something and the other Theo laughs and rests his head on Liam’s shoulder and Liam smiles. He usually smiles at Theo like that. Theo stabs at his steak and shoves the bite into his mouth. He hears Stiles chuckle as he leans in closer. “They’re a pretty perfect pair, don’t you think?”

“Fork off, Stiles,” Theo mutters.

Stiles tuts, “Now now, that’s not anyway to talk to someone who could have your afterlife in their hands soon.” He places his hand on Theo’s leg and Theo tries not to squirm. “You’re a very pretty human. I could make things a little more bearable for you if you make it worth my while. It’s been a while since I tested out this human body.”

“Not happening,” Theo grits out. “Now remove your hand, before I make you.”

“And what?” Stiles asks. “Cause a scene? Ruin their moment?”

He nods his head across the table to where Liam and the other Theo are still leaning close, talking. They’re completely oblivious to the tension across the table. Theo watches them, taking in the soft way the other Theo looks at Liam. And he can’t blame him. Liam’s amazing. He deserves to have someone look at him like that. The same way Theo does. Except…

Theo has to wonder if maybe Liam would be better off with this Theo. He’s not damaged and broken. He’s not going to cause him pain like Theo inevitably will. He’s not destined to spend an eternity in the Bad Place. He can actually be with him and love him like he deserves. 

Theo shoves his chair back suddenly and gets to his feet. That does draw the attention of the others. He can’t make himself look at Liam. “Sorry,” Theo mutters. “I just realized… I have to go.”

“You haven’t even finished your dinner,” Stiles tells him.

“I’m not hungry,” Theo says. “And yeah I know that now you’re probably going to drag me to the Bad Place. Do whatever you have to do. I can’t be here.”

“Oh, I think your anguish is worth any dinner,” Stiles says.

Theo walks away, ignoring Liam calling after him. He weaves his way between the tables and pushes the door open, stumbling his way outside. He takes a breath of the cool night air but it still doesn’t ease the ache in his chest. He doubts anything ever will. Not now.

He walks down the street as fast as he can, wiping at his eyes as tears start to spill down his cheeks. He’s halfway home when he realizes he can’t be there. Not tonight. Not with Liam and the other Theo being there. Together. He’s hurting enough already. 

He stops in the middle of the street, suddenly feeling lost. He has nowhere to go. 

_ Because you don’t belong here _ , he thinks.

His legs eventually take him to the park, where he collapses on the grass. He puts his head on his knees and sobs. He’s sure he screams too. The sound just tears itself out of him. There’s no way someone hasn’t heard him. But he doubts anyone will care. He’s the reason for their lives being turned upside down. For all the problems here. Why should they care if he’s hurting? 

He feels a hand on his back and flinches. “Theo.”

He takes a shuddering breath but doesn’t look up. He’s not surprised it’s Liam that found him. Of course it is. If anyone was going to come after him it would be Liam.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Theo whispers.

“What?” Liam asks, and Theo can just imagine the confused look on his face. Even if he can’t see it. “Why not?”

“This isn’t where you belong,” Theo mutters. “Not with me.”

“Are we really doing this again?” Liam asks him.

Theo sits up so suddenly Liam’s hand drops away. Theo glares at him. “Yes, we are. Because it’s true.”

“Theo…”

“You two are perfect for each other,” Theo says. “You and the _real_ Theo. That much was obvious tonight. You have so much in common, and god Liam, the way he looks at you like you’re the most important thing in the room…”

“He’s not the only one that looks at me like that,” Liam says. He moves closer and cups Theo’s cheek. A now familiar gesture, but one Theo has come to love. “You do too, you know?”

“Yeah, well, I’m not your soulmate.”

“I don’t care,” Liam says. “I just care about _you_. I _love_ you. I don’t want anyone else, Theo. Whether he’s my soulmate or not. No matter what we have in common. He doesn't make me feel the way you do. He never could. Because I love you. You are the only one I want.”

“You shouldn’t,” Theo whispers.

“Well, tough shirt,” Liam says. “I do.”

“I love you too,” Theo says. He rests his head against Liam’s and just breathes for a moment. “So much. And I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Liam asks.

“For basically having a breakdown in the middle of the park,” Theo laughs. “I guess Stiles just got under my skin and got in my head.”

“He’s a demon,” Liam says. “Demons do that.”

“Yeah, well, this one is an ashhole, and I kind of wish I could punch him in the face.”

Liam laughs, “That wouldn’t be very nice.”

“He deserves it.”

“He kind of does,” Liam says. “I’m not for violence, but I’d like to punch him in the face too. Especially with the way he was looking at you. It was creepy.”

“And you didn’t even hear what he was saying,” Theo says.

Liam frowns, “What did he say?”

“I’m not sure you want to know,” Theo says.

“Oh I do,” Liam says. 

“He basically told me if I had sex with him he’d make things more bearable for me in the afterlife,” Theo says.

“He forking did what?” Liam shouts.

“Shh it’s okay,” Theo says. “I told him to fork off. I almost stabbed him with the fork though.”

“You should have,” Liam mutters. “Creep.”

Theo laughs and kisses Liam’s cheek, “I didn’t know when you said you’d fight for me it included physically.”

“Yeah well, at the time you didn’t have creepy demons trying to assault you,” Liam says.

He’s not exactly happy about it either. Not knowing there’s a big chance he’ll be forced to spend an eternity with the guy. 

“Do you want to go home?” Liam asks him. “We can cuddle until we fall asleep.”

“I’d love nothing more,” Theo says. “But…”

“What?”

“I feel weird with the other Theo there,” Theo admits.

“He won’t be there,” Liam tells him. “He said he’d stay with Danny and Scott tonight to give us time to ourselves.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Liam says. “He is a nice guy, Theo.”

“I know he is,” Theo says. “I’m just surprised he hasn’t told me to leave you alone. He is your soulmate.”

“But he knows how I feel about you,” Liam says. “And he’s okay with that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, take me home.”

Liam smiles and leans in to kiss him, “Gladly.”

Theo feels a little better walking into the house tonight knowing it’s just him and Liam. He doesn’t feel as on guard. He’s actually able to relax a little as they get ready for bed and then crawl under the covers. Liam presses in close and kisses his jaw before resting his head on his chest. They don’t talk about what’s to come. Not tonight. Tonight it’s just them. They take the night to have some peace before morning comes and brings on even more uncertainty. 


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days revolve around working on Theo’s defense case. They know the judge, Peter, could arrive at any moment and they need to be ready. Together, along with the other Theo, Danny, and Scott, they look through books and take notes to help with his defense. 

It’s then that Theo notices something different with Scott and Kira, who has been popping in every now and then to bring them new books or provide information about the Good Place and the Bad Place. She always sticks around the house and stays close to Scott. 

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was something going on with Kira and Scott,” Theo says quietly to Liam.

Liam looks over at where the two are talking and tilts his head. “Really?” 

“Yeah, just watch.”

At that moment, Kira throws her head back and laughs at something Scott says and Scott smiles dopily up at her. “Huh,” Liam says. “You might be right.”

“I think I have an idea,” Danny says.

“What is it?” Liam asks.

“We need Bobby,” Danny tells them. “Because I figured something out a while ago and it just might help us here.”

“Kira,” Theo says. “Can you tell Bobby to come here, please?”

“Okay!” 

Kira pops out of existence and Scott pouts, “I was talking to her.”

“She’ll be back,” Liam tells him. “We just need Bobby.”

Kira reappears a moment later with Bobby at her side. Bobby looks around them, taking in all the books and people scattered around the room. “Kira said you needed to speak with me.”

“Danny said he has an idea,” Theo says.

“Really?” Bobby asks. “What is it?”

“Well, as you know, a few weeks ago I found out about the points system,” he says.

“Yes I know,” Bobby says. “You were pretty obsessed with the scores.”

“Points system?” Liam asks. “What points system?”

“When you humans are alive, every single thing you do is worth points. Good deeds earn you points, and bad deeds cause you to lose points. The bigger the deed, the more points it's worth.”

“Right,” Theo says. “And what’s that have to do with me?”

“I want to suggest we let Theo be allowed to accrue points here in the Good Place,” Danny says. “If he earns enough points he can stay.”

Bobby looks between them and scratches his chin in thought. “That’s not a bad idea actually. We’d need a goal though.”

“Of course,” Danny says.

“It’ll have to be the minimum number to get into the Good Place to make it fair,” Bobby says.

“And what’s that?” Liam asks.

“1, 200, 000,” Bobby says.

“And how many points did I have when I was alive?” Theo asks, almost afraid to know.

“Kira?” Bobby asks.

“-4000,” Kira says.

Theo grimaces, “Oh, so it’s not completely unattainable then.”

He knows what Danny is trying to do, and he appreciates it. He just doesn’t see how he’s supposed to earn that many points in such a short period of time. People spend their whole lives working to get those points, maybe not consciously, but still. Theo is supposed to be able to do it in what? A day? Two days? 

“You can do this,” Liam tells him. “I know you can.”

“It won’t be easy,” Bobby tells him. “But it’s not hopeless.”

Theo really hopes they’re right.

“I guess I better get started then,” Theo says.

The thing is, he doesn’t even know where to start. Or maybe he does. His first stop is Greenberg’s restaurant. Greenberg’s in the front again and frowns when he sees him. “Yes?”

“I just wanted to apologize,” Theo says. “I’m sorry for causing a big hole to appear in the middle of your restaurant and that I ruined your grand opening. It wasn’t cool of me, and I know how much you worked to get this place up and running.”

“Thank you,” Greenberg says, looking surprised but pleased by his apology. “I appreciate that.”

“If you need anything,” Theo says. “You let me know, okay? I’d love to be able to make it up to you.”

Greenberg tilts his head, “There might be something you can do.”

That something involves standing elbow deep in a sink full of water as he scrubs them clean. Apparently he’s down a dishwasher and has gotten behind. Theo puts a smile on and washes the dishes, making sure they’re spotless. 

When he’s done he goes back outside and looks around, trying to find out where his next good deed could come from. Then he sees the sign on the window of a dog daycare. Weird that the Good Place has a dog daycare. Though people love dogs and they have to go somewhere. It’s a nice thought they’d end up here and get a lot of love and cuddles. 

Theo wasn’t really a dog person when he was alive, but he can still appreciate how cute they are. He takes the sign off the window and walks inside. “Still need someone to walk the dogs?”

And that’s how he finds himself walking down the street with at least six dogs. Bobby passes him on his way by and laughs. Theo just brushes it off. He’s doing his duty here. He’s doing good things and that has to count for something. When he’s done with the dogs he moves around the neighborhood, helping people out with various odds and ends they need. It’s all small things, but it helps. It has to. 

Except, he finds out when he checks his score later. It hasn’t done much at all. His score has only changed from -4000 to -3920

“Eighty points,” Theo says, staring at it in shock. “I did all that stuff and it only increased my score by eighty points?”

“We just need to find bigger things,” Liam tells him.

“Liam, we’re in the Good Place,” Theo reminds him. “There’s probably not a lot of big point items here, like I don’t know, saving the planet or endangered animals.”

“There has to be something,” Liam tells him. “And we’ll figure it out.”

He walks away and starts looking through his books again. Theo watches him for a moment, and smiles when Liam has to stop and push up his glasses.

“You two really care about each other,” the other Theo says.

“We do,” Theo agrees. There’s no point in denying it.

“You love him,” he says. “Anyone can see that. I think you’d do anything to make him happy.”

Theo nods, “I would.”

“You know, the biggest deeds are often the ones we do for others, but not ourselves,” the other Theo says.

Theo frowns, “Isn’t that what I’ve been doing?”

“You’ve been helping other people,” he says. “But not for them. It’s been for you.”

Theo frowns. He has a point. All the deeds he’s being doing are for self-preservation. Which means, they can’t increase his score. Nothing can when he’s going about it for the wrong reasons. He just has to figure out how he’s going to accomplish his goal without making it about him.

“Well, this just got even more impossible,” Theo mutters.

“Nothing’s impossible if you do it for love,” the other Theo tells him.

He squeezes Theo’s arm and moves across the room to help Liam with the books. The door opens suddenly, and Scott and Kira run in. “We need help.”

“What’s going on?” Liam asks.

“Kira and I are in love and we’re getting married,” Scott says.

So Theo had been right about something going on there. He just hadn’t been expecting this. Then again, he supposes he should expect the unexpected when it comes to Scott.

“You’re what?” Liam asks.

“We’re getting married,” Kira says. “And we need you to marry us.”

“Me?”

“You’re ordained,” Kira says. “I saw it in your file.”

“I am,” Liam says slowly. “Do people even get married here?”

“Some do,” Kira says. “Though, again, I’m not a person.”

“You are to me,” Scott says. “And I can’t wait to marry you.”

“I can’t wait to marry you either Scott,” Kira says.

“So will you marry us?” Scott asks. “Please?”

He looks to Theo, who shrugs. “It seems as if you’d be making dreams come true.”

“You would,” Scott says. “Please say you’ll do it Liam.”

“Okay,” Liam says after another moment of contemplation. “I’ll marry you.”

“Great!” Scott grins. “I need you there too Theo.”

“Of course,” Theo says. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“And Danny,” Scott says. “You’ll come too right, bro? We are getting married at our house.”

Danny smiles tightly, “Of course. I’d love to be there. At a wedding. That isn’t mine. In my own house.”

“Great!”

“So when is this wedding taking place?” Theo asks.

“Right now,” Scott says.

“Oh awesome,” Theo says. “Because we have nothing else to worry about right now.”

“I know, right?” Scott says. “It’s the perfect time.”

Theo smiles. He can do this. He’ll go to the wedding and support his friends and everything will be fine. It’s not as if pouring through these books is getting him anywhere. And maybe supporting his friends will count as a good deed. He hopes.

Theo’s surprised to find the room is already decorated when they walk in. There are flowers around the room, and an arch is standing in the middle, with two chairs in front of it. 

“Take your seats while we go get ready,” Scott says.

He and Kira run up the stairs, leaving Theo, Liam, and Danny alone. “Isn’t it weird how we just left the other Theo?” Theo asks.

“He wasn’t invited,” Danny points out.

“And I think he’d rather stick to research,” Liam says. “That is the most important thing.”

“We all need breaks to refresh our brains,” Danny says. “Maybe this will help.”

“What I need is to figure out a deed good enough to get me the points I need,” Theo says.

“Oh honey, I don’t know if there is one _that_ big,” Danny says. “But I’m sure there are multiple things you can do and you will get there.”

“I hope so,” Theo says. “This was your idea.”

“I didn’t realize how far in the negatives you were, or that they would expect you to reach over a million points,” Danny says. “That is a little crazy.”

“You two got enough,” Theo says. “But you were also good people.”

“I wasn’t that great,” Liam says.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Liam says. “Just… after this, we should talk.”

“Okay,” Theo says, curious.

Music starts playing and then Scott comes dancing into the room and up to the altar. He stops when Kira reaches the top of the stairs, and rips off the sleeves of his suit jacket. Liam moves to his position under the altar as Kira reaches the bottom of the stairs and walks towards them.

“She does look pretty,” Danny says.

“Not a girl,” Kira calls over to them.

“Then what are we supposed to call her… Kira?” Danny asks.

“They?” Theo suggests.

“Makes sense.”

Liam is pretty good at the whole wedding thing, Theo has to admit. He hadn’t been able to imagine Liam officiating weddings, but now that he’s seen it, he thinks he’s pretty awesome at it. Not that Theo has been to many weddings to compare it to. And the ones he was at he was drunk so he doesn’t really remember much of them.

“Is there anyone here that objects to this union?” Liam asks.

Theo raises his hand, “Uh yeah. How could we not object?”

“Overruled,” Kira says.

Danny raises an eyebrow at him and Theo shrugs, “What? I always wanted to object at a wedding.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not going to earn you any points,” Danny laughs.

“Oh mother forking shirt balls,” Theo mutters.

Danny pats his arm, “You’ll get there.”

It doesn’t sound all that reassuring. 

After the small reception, which basically just involved Scott and Kira shoving cake in each other's face and then dancing, Theo and Liam leave. They don’t go home, instead Liam leads him to the park. He finds a bench, and sits down on it.

“I never told you how I died,” Liam says.

It’s true. They haven’t really discussed their deaths. Theo, because he’s a little embarrassed by the whole thing. Liam, Theo assumed, would tell him when he was ready. If he ever was. It’s not something he ever wanted to push for.

“I know,” Theo says. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I do,” Liam says. “Because I need you to understand something about me.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve never been the best at making decisions,” Liam says. “And that wound up costing me my life.”

What happened?” Theo asks softly.

“My best friend Mason was getting married. He’d wanted me to be his best man, but I knew how much planning and decision making that would involve, so I’d told him to choose someone else. I wasn’t proud of it. I was pretty sad to be honest. But I… I was afraid. We fought about it a lot. And he kept telling me it was always going to be my spot if I wanted it. I never said yes. For his bachelor party, we were going out for drinks. He asked me to decide where we were going. I couldn’t do it. I stood there on the sidewalk outside my apartment agonizing over where to go for so long. And then that was it. I felt this pain in my head and I came to in the waiting area here. I found out that an air conditioning had fallen out of my living room window and onto my head, and it killed me.”

“Oh,” Theo says. “Wow.”

“Yeah, I know,” Liam says. “Not the best death.”

“Not the worst either,” Theo says. “I was killed by a truck advertising an erectile dysfunction pill.”

Liam stares at him for a moment, “Are you serious?”

Theo shrugs, “Yep. So I think at least in terms of embarrassing deaths we’re a perfect match.”

Liam laughs and leans into him, “There’s a reason I told you that story.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Liam says. “Because I’ve always been horrible about making choices. Except when it comes to one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I chose you,” Liam says. “And that was one of the best choices I ever made.”

“You really think? Knowing how this could end?”

“Yes,” Liam says. “Because I’ve had the best days of my existence with you. No matter what happens, I’ll always be grateful for that.”

Theo nods, “Me too.”

Theo lays awake that night, long after Liam has gone to sleep. He thinks about all the ways he’s changed, how much better he’s been since he came here. But there’s still room for improvement. He knows that. And he knows that if given the chance, he could get there. But there’s no time. Not with Stiles hanging around waiting for him to slip up so he can card him away to the Bad Place. And not with the judge’s visit looming over him.

No, he needs someplace to go. Someplace where he can work on becoming a good person. Someone worthy of Liam. He slips from the bed and gets dressed. He can’t sleep anyway. He just needs some air. He leaves the house and walks down the street to the park. He’s halfway there when he sees Scott and Kira sneaking around. Curious, he sets off after them. 

“What are you two doing?” he asks, sneaking up behind them as they stop to peer around a building. 

Scott jumps and looks at him with wide eyes, “What? We’re not doing anything.”

“Uh huh,” Theo says. “So you two were just skulking around in the middle of the night for no reason.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Scott says.

“It means sneaking,” Kira says.

“Yes, exactly,” Theo says. “Why are you two sneaking around?”

“Why are _you_ sneaking around?” Scott asks.

“I was going for a walk because I couldn’t sleep,” Theo says. “And I didn’t look half as suspicious as you did. So what’s up?”

“We’re running away,” Scott says.

“What? Running away where?”

“To the Medium Place.”

“There’s a Medium Place?”

“There’s only one,” Kira says. “Inhabited by Jackson Whittemore.”

“One person has a whole neighborhood to themselves?”

“Yep, until now,” Kira says. “Because that’s where we’re going.”

“Why?” Theo asks.

“Because Bobby wants to reboot Kira,” Scott says. “He didn’t approve of our marriage.”

“Well, that’s harsh,” Theo says.

“Right? So we’re running away to stop that from happening,” Scott tells him.

“Could I come?” Theo asks.

“You want to leave?” Scott asks. “What about Liam?”

Theo looks back at the house and feels a pang of guilt. He doesn’t want to just take off. But this is his chance. His way of becoming a better person.”

“I want to be a better person,” Theo says. “He’ll understand that.” He hopes. “I just need to leave a note. I can meet you someplace.”

“The train station,” Kira says. “We’re going to take the train from the Bad Place demons and use it to get to the Medium Place.”

“Okay,” Theo says. “Great. I’ll be right there.”

“Hurry,” Scott says.

“Yes, it would be ideal if we didn’t get caught,” Kira says.

“Got it,” Theo says. “I can be sneaky.”

He can probably do a lot better job of it than those two for sure. 

He leaves them and goes back home. Liam is still asleep when he gets there. Theo debates waking him, thinking about how upset he’d been when Theo had left a note before. But knowing Liam, he’ll offer to come with them. And he can’t do that. Liam belongs here. Theo can’t be a good person if he lets Liam give up his eternity here for him.

So he leaves another note. He tells him he loves him and that he’s going to work on being a good person and that he’ll be back. He leaves it on the bed, kisses the top of Liam’s head, and then leaves as quietly as he can. 

He manages to make it to the train station without being spotted, which isn’t hard. No one else is awake right now. Scott and Kira are waiting on the train for him.

“Ready?” Kira asks him.

Theo looks out the window and takes a deep breath, “Yeah I’m ready. Let’s go.”

She nods and starts the train. Theo sits there, looking out the window as they head out of the Good Place. He tries not to imagine Liam waking up and finding the note. He knows it’s going to hurt him. He just hopes he can find a way to forgive him for leaving this way. That, or without Theo in the picture, he’ll fall in love with the other Theo like he was always supposed to. Something else Theo doesn’t want to think about.

Liam told him he chose him. He’s never chosen anything in his life like that, and he chose Theo. That has to mean something. Theo is going to do everything he can to make sure he’s worth that choice. 

* * *

The Medium Place isn’t exactly what Theo had been expecting. He figured it would look similar to the Good Place. Instead, all there is is one house sitting in the middle of a field.

“Are you sure this is it?” Theo asks.

“Positive,” Kira says. “This is the Medium Place.”

“It doesn’t look like much,” Scott says.

“It looks pretty average to me,” Theo jokes. It falls flat, and he’s left laughing alone.

“I don’t get it,” Scott says.

“It doesn’t matter,” Theo says. “Should we go introduce ourselves?”

“Yeah I love meeting new people,” Scott says. “This dude must be awesome if he has a house to himself.”

That or he’s gone insane being cooped up here alone for an eternity.

They walk the short distance to the house and Theo knocks on the door. There’s no answer, so he tries again.

“Maybe no one’s home,” Scott suggests.

“Where else would he be?” Theo asks him.

Scott shrugs, “The store?”

“Scott, this is the only place here,” Theo says. “There is no store.”

“Oh. Right.”

Theo sighs and knocks again, louder this time, “Mr. Whittemore. Are you in there?”

The door swings open and Theo steps back. A man that only looks a few years older than him answers the door. He’s in nothing but a silk robe and a pair of black house slippers. “Who the heck are you?”

“My name is Theo Raeken,” Theo says. “And this is Scott and Kira.”

“You have a Kira?” Jackson says.

“She’s my wife,” Scott says.

“Huh.” Jackson looks between the three of them and raises an eyebrow. “So? Why are you at my house?”

“It’s a long story,” Theo says.

“We’re on the run from demons from the Bad Place,” Scott says.

“I see,” Jackson says. “And you expect me to just let you in and put myself at risk for some strangers?”

“They don’t know we’re here,” Theo says. “And it won’t be for long. Look, can we come in please?”

Jackson studies his face for a moment before nodding and stepping back, “Only because I haven’t had company in years and I’ve been bored out of my mind.”

“What do you do here all this time?” Theo asks.

“I keep myself entertained,” Jackson smirks. “And watch a lot of TV. Mostly reruns.”

“So how did you get in the Medium Place?” Theo asks. “Kira said you’re the only one it’s ever happened to.”

“Yeah I was a special case,” Jackson says. “I led a pretty selfish life. Because I was a big ashhole. Everyone hated me. Then right before I died I did some things that led to the formation of a massive global charity fund, and I guess that sort of balanced me out. I wasn’t bad enough for the Bad Place, but I wasn’t good enough for the Good Place. So they sent me here.”

“Cool,” Scott says.

“So tell me, Theo, what brings you here?”

“I was sent to the Good Place by mistake,” Theo says. “We both were.”

“Wow,” Jackson laughs. “It’s bad enough when they screw up once, but twice?” He whistles. “So they found you out?”

“I was trying to blend in at first,” Theo says. “But then I came clean.”

“Why would you do something like that?” Jackson asks.

“Because I wanted to be better,” Theo says. “I still want to. That’s why I’m here. I want to work on being a better person and then maybe I’ll be able to stay.”

“You really think they’ll let you?” Jackson asks.

Theo shrugs, “I don’t know. But I have to try.”

“Something tells me you’re not just doing this for yourself.”

“No,” Theo says. “There’s someone else. Someone I care about a lot. I want to stay there for him.”

“I see,” Jackson says. “Love is certainly something to fight for.”

“Have you ever been in love?” Scott asks.

“Once,” Jackson says. “It didn’t end well. Like I said, I was selfish. I ruined things and they broke up with me and went off and married my best friend.”

Theo grimaces, “Yikes.”

“They’re better off together,” Jackson says. “At least now I can admit that.” A moment of silence passes before Jackson speaks again. “So what makes you think you can become a good enough person here for them to let you stay?”

“I don’t,” Theo says. “But I have to try. I owe it to myself and to Liam.”

“And what about those two?” Jackson says. “What are they doing here?”

“Bobby didn’t approve of our relationship,” Kira says. 

“Who’s Bobby?”

“An architect,” Theo says. “He’s been running the neighborhood.”

“Architects do that now?” Jackson asks.

“Bobby does.”

“Huh,” Jackson says. “So this Bobby didn’t approve of your relationship so you decided to run away together?”

“Yep,” Scott says. “They can’t reboot Kira and stop us from being together if we’re not there. They also can’t take Theo to the Bad Place.”

“Why would they just take Theo?”

“What?”

“I mean, you said you both don’t belong there, so wouldn’t they want to take you both?” Jackson asks.

That’s a good point. Bobby knows Scott doesn’t belong. Surely he would have said something by now. So why aren’t they trying to send him away. 

“I don’t know about you all,” Jackson says. “But I think there’s something fishy going on there.”

“I think you’re right,” Theo says. “I just don’t know what yet.”

“One of you wouldn’t happen to have any cocaine would you?” Jackson asks.

“Excuse me?”

“You know, cocaine,” Jackson says. “I haven’t had any since I died and I would love to have some.”

“Uhh no, sorry.”

Jackson shrugs, “It was worth a shot.” He turns to Kira. “Could you get me some?”

“I don’t procure drugs,” she tells him.

“Oh well,” Jackson sighs. “I guess I’ll just settle for the whiskey I have in the fridge.”

“I was wondering,” Theo says. “If you live here by yourself, and there aren’t any stores or restaurants, where do you get everything like food and stuff?”

“A train comes once a week and drops things off,” Jackson says. “Usually the same stuff. It’s getting kind of boring actually. I’d like a little more variety.”

“Can’t you ask them?” Scott asks.

“They think they're doing enough just bringing me what they do,” Jackson says. “And letting me stay here like this. We have a sweet deal. I’m not going to risk getting too picky and then they decide I’m not worth the hassle and then it’s off to the Bad Place with me.”

“Fair enough,” Theo says. 

“Look, you guys can stay as long as you need,” Jackson says. “Just don’t be annoying. Otherwise I might have to call the Bad Place to come get you myself.”

“You can _call_ them?” Theo asks.

“Yeah, how do you think people in different neighborhoods communicate?” 

“I didn’t think they did,” Theo says. “I thought they were all isolated and stuff. No one said anything about talking to people outside the neighborhood.”

“Most people don’t want to. They’re happy with what they have,” Jackson says. “It’s mostly for the upper levels and stuff. And for them to check in on me.”

The phone rings and Jackson raises an eyebrow as he reaches for it. “I think someone might know you’re here.” He brings the phone to his ear. “This is Jackson. I see. Yes. Right. I will let them know.” He hangs up and turns to Theo. “So Peter, the judge, got there and he ruled against you.”

“What?” Theo asks. “I wasn’t even there!”

“Yes, well, apparently he had the others speak on your and Scott’s behalf,” Jackson says. “Yes, that means you are not as safe as you thought, Scotty boy.”

“What?” Scott asks. “They want to send me to the Bad Place too?”

“Yep,” Jackson says. “They said that if you don’t return then Liam and Danny will be sent to the Bad Place in your stead.”

“What?” Theo exclaims. “They can’t do that!”

“They can, actually,” Jackson says. “They can pretty much do whatever they want. And trust me, they will. If you don’t show up there within 2 hours, your boy is gone.”

“Two hours?”

“Oh yeah, did I not mention that?”

“No,” Theo says. “You didn’t.”

He sighs and runs a hand down his face. He already knows what he has to do. He can’t let Liam be sent to the Bad Place for him. That wouldn’t be fair. Liam certainly doesn’t deserve that, and neither does Danny.

He turns to Scott, “We have to go back.”

“What? No way! If we go back then they’ll send us to the Bad Place,” Scott says.

“Yes, but if we don’t go back then they’ll send Liam and Danny,” Theo argues. “We can’t let that happen to them.”

“You’d really sacrifice yourself?” Jackson asks.

“I would,” Theo says. “In a heartbeat.”

“Bro, I can’t,” Scott says. “I can’t go to that place. I have a wife.”

“Listen to me,” Theo says. “I don’t want to go there either. This whole I’ve been trying to avoid getting sent there. But I can’t allow Liam and Danny to go there because I’m afraid. I have to be better than that. They deserve better than that. I came here to be a good person, and this is the only way to do that. So please, if you have a conscience at all, do the right thing.”

Scott looks to Kira, who nods. “It is the right thing to do, Scott.”

“You want me to go?” Scott asks her.

“Of course I don’t,” Kira says. “But I know you’re a good enough person to not let your friends sacrifice themselves for you.”

Scott sighs, “Yeah you’re right.” To Theo, he says, “I’ll go back with you.”

“We need to go now if we want to make it,” Kira says.

“Right,” Theo says. “Let’s go then.” He turns to Jackson. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

Jackson shrugs, “Thank you for a respite from my boredom.”

They leave the house and get on the train. Theo knows that no matter how afraid he is, this is the right thing to do. He loves Liam. He’s not about to let him be subjected to an eternity of torture just because he’s afraid. 

“How much time until we’re there?” Theo asks Kira.

“We’re going to be cutting it close,” Kira says.

“We have to get there,” Theo says. “We have to.”

“We will,” Scott tells him.

* * *

Theo thinks about his life as he waits. A sort of life flashes before your eyes moment. He never got one before he died. Then again, he didn’t really know he was going to die. Not until it hit him. Literally. 

Theo’s not sure how much time passes before the train is pulling up to the station. Theo takes off, running out of the station and down the road towards his house. He just has a feeling that’s where they are. He has to hope he’s not wrong. 

He opens the door and runs inside. Scott and Kira are close behind him. He looks around the room, taking in the familiar and unfamiliar faces. Then his eyes land on Liam.

“Theo,” Liam whispers. He rushes towards him and Theo pulls him in for a hug. “You came back.”

“Of course I came back,” Theo says. “I couldn’t let you take my place.”

Liam rests his head against Theo’s, “I still wish you hadn’t come though.”

“There was never any choice,” Theo tells him. He takes Liam’s face in his hands and smiles sadly. “You chose me, Liam. And I’m choosing you.”

“Ugh barf,” Bad Kira groans. “Can we like, just torture both of them?”

“I’d enjoy that,” Stiles says. “We could make them watch.”

“I think I have a solution here,” a man, or Theo should probably say demon, says and steps forward. 

“What is it, Peter?” Bobby asks.

“I think we should let them decide,” Peter says. “They can make up their own minds which two goes to the Bad Place, and who stays here.”

“What?” Liam asks. “You can’t actually expect us to make that decision.”

“Oh, but I do,” Peter says. “So go on. Figure it out. If you can’t make up your mind by the end of the night. I’ll just take all of you.”

“You can’t do that,” Danny says. “Bobby can he do that?”

“This is sadly out of my hands,” Bobby says.

“Seriously?” Theo asks. “You’re just giving up?”

“I think it's a generous offer allowing you to choose who stays and who goes,” Bobby says. “Considering two of you don’t actually belong here.”

“I’ll go,” the other Theo says. 

“What?” Liam asks.

“I’m volunteering myself to go,” the other Theo tells them.

“Look at that,” Peter says. “Probably the best of you, and yet the only one willing to make this sacrifice.”

“Well, I don’t deserve to be there,” Danny says.

“And I can’t possibly make this choice,” Liam says.

“Oh stop,” Danny says. “We all know you’d sacrifice me or Scott as long as it meant you got to keep Theo here.”

“That’s not true,” Liam says.

Theo watches as the arguments increasingly become more heated and frustrating. He stands there watching as his friends lash out at each other. He has an epiphany. It hits him suddenly why everything has felt off here. Now he knows why. “Oh my mother forking shirt balls.”

“What?” Liam asks. “What is it?”

“We’ve been torturing each other, not by accident. But by design,” Theo says. He looks around at all of them. “ _This_ is the Bad Place.”

“What? That’s ridiculous. Right?”

Theo looks at Bobby, whose usual smile has been replaced by a sneer. He laughs, cold and callous, and Stiles and Peter join him. Bobby points a finger at Theo. “Oh, you are absolutely right.”

“He is?” Danny asks. “But how?”

“The Good Place you’ve been living in is a new and elaborate Bad Place neighborhood where all of you are the only human inhabitants. You were put here together to drive each other to agony.”

“But what about the others?” Theo asks. “What about Laura?”

Bobby laughs, “That one was especially fun. A demon masked itself as Laura to mess with you. She was just here to increase your guilt and make you miserable. And oh, how that worked perfectly.”

“But what about Kira?” Scott asks.

“Oh, Kira is a real Good Place Kira that I stole,” Bobby says. He turns to Peter. “Look, I know this is a little glitch in our plan.”

“Little glitch?” Peter asks.

“Just let me reboot them,” Bobby says. “I’ll blank their memories and change some parameters. This won’t happen again.”

In a last ditch effort to do something, Theo rips out a piece of paper and writes something on it. He puts it into Kira’s mouth and tells her to give it to him. He turns to Liam, “I love you, and I will find you.”

“I know,” Liam says. “I love you too.” 

Theo kisses him quickly and then things start to slip away. He opens his eyes and finds himself in a bright reception area. On the wall, reads the words: “Everything is fine.”

A man steps out and smiles and introduces himself as Bobby. He explains to Theo how he’s in the Good Place and then gives him a tour of the neighborhood before leaving Theo at his new home. A small place. Not exactly up to Theo’s taste.

Theo jumps when someone suddenly pops into view, “Holy shirt, who are you and how did you get in here?”

“I’m Kira, I’m the source of all information and knowledge for everyone here in the Good Place.”

“Oh,” Theo says. “Cool.”

“I have something for you,” Kira says. 

“You do?” 

She holds out a piece of paper and Theo takes it. He looks down at it and is confused to see it’s in his own handwriting. On it reads: “Theo – Find Liam.” 


	7. Chapter 7

“Theo – Find Liam.”

Theo stares at the note. He knows this is his handwriting. He just doesn’t know how this note got here, or _why_ he would leave it for himself.

_ Liam _ . Theo repeats the name in his head. He doesn’t know any Liam. At least not that he remembers. So why would he tell himself to find him. There has to be something he’s missing.

“Why did I give you this?” Theo asks Kira. “And who is Liam?”

There’s no response, so Theo looks up to find himself once again alone. Kira isn’t here. Theo sighs. Right. Looks like he’s alone in figuring this out then. He supposes the only way to do that is to do what the note says. He needs to find Liam.

Unfortunately it’s not as easy as simply finding him. Something tells Theo he shouldn’t just go around asking about Liam. 

So instead he goes around trying to be friendly and introduces himself to the people of the neighborhood. He meets people named Greenberg, Laura, Brett, Lydia, and Danny. But no Liam. He’s starting to wonder if a Liam even exists here when he hears Bobby talking while eating at Greenberg’s. He doesn’t know what makes him do it, but he lifts his menu and hides his face, trying to keep out of sight.

“So Liam,” Bobby says. “How is it going choosing your soulmate?”

_ Soulmate _ ? Liam gets to choose his soulmate. How strange is that?

“It’s not easy,” Liam says. “Hayden and Nolan are both great people, and they both have wonderful qualities about them.”

“Yes, they are both great,” Bobby says. “It’s an impossible situation you’ve found yourself in.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Liam says. “Choosing things has never been one of my strongest qualities.”

“Maybe this can be a way for you to learn and grow,” Bobby says. 

“Maybe,” Liam says. “I guess I just need more time.”

“Of course,” Bobby says. “But you do need to decide soon. It’s not fair to leave them both hanging on.”

“What happens to the person I don’t choose?”

“Oh, just a lifetime of eternal torture,” Bobby laughs. Something about that laugh makes Theo uneasy. He can’t explain why. Bobby is from the Good Place. He can’t be _evil_. “I’m kidding,” Bobby says. “They’ll stay in the neighborhood as they are. They just won’t have a soulmate. Which isn’t completely bad. Some people prefer alone time.”

Theo knows he certainly does. Which is why he hadn’t been the least bit disappointed to learn he didn’t have a soulmate here. He just has to worry about himself, and that suits him just fine. Except now he finds himself worrying about Liam. And also wondering why he’d leave himself a note to find him. What makes him so important?

He waits until Bobby leaves before he lowers the menu and gets to his feet. He walks over to Liam’s table, just as he’s standing to leave.

“Liam?” 

Liam looks up at him and raises an eyebrow, “Yes?”

“You don’t know me,” Theo says. “My name is Theo. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I believe I was supposed to find you.”

“That does sound a little crazy,” Liam says slowly, as he takes a step back.

“No wait,” Theo says. He pulls the scrap of paper from his pocket and holds it out. “Kira gave me this note. It’s from myself, and the only thing it says is to find Liam. I’ve searched this whole place, and you are the only Liam here. Which means, for whatever reason, I was supposed to find you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Liam says. “You just got here. How would Kira have a note from _you_ telling you to find _me_ when we’ve never even met before?”

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “I was confused too. That’s what we need to figure out.”

“We?” Liam asks.

“Yeah, you and me,” Theo says. “We have to figure out why I was supposed to find you.”

“Look,” Liam says. “I have a lot going on right now…”

“Yeah I know,” Theo says. “Your soulmate problem. Must suck having two possible soulmates.”

Liam narrows his eyes, “It’s not ideal.” 

“No, I’m sure it’s an impossible choice,” Theo says.

“It is!” Liam says. “So I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for this right now.”

“Liam please,” Theo says. He grabs Liam’s hand and puts the paper in it. “I know you have your own issues, but please just look at it.”

Liam’s eyes lift from the paper to Theo’s. He frowns, before nodding. “I’ll keep it, but I’m not making any promises.”

It’s better than nothing. All Theo can do is hope that Liam’s curiosity will get the better of him and he’ll look at the note. Maybe it’ll mean something to him.

Theo watches him walk away, and feels a pang in his chest he doesn’t understand. When Liam turns around to look back at him, Theo’s hit by the urge to go to him. It doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t know Liam. Why does he feel such a pull towards him? 

He stays where he is.

“Are you staying to eat?” Greenberg asks him.

Theo shakes his head, “No, thank you.”

He leaves the restaurant and walks down the street towards the park. He sits on a bench there, and lifts his head to look at the clouds. He sees one that resembles a turtle and smiles to himself. He’s never been much for cloud watching, at least not since he was young and he used to do it with Tara, but something makes him want to. Maybe it’s something reminding him of his sister. Someone he hasn’t let himself think about in years. Not because he didn’t want to, but because it always hurt too much to do it. 

It still causes a pang now thinking of her. He remembers asking his parents whether Tara was in heaven after she died. Her mom had scoffed and rolled her eyes and told him heaven wasn’t real and that Tara was just dead.

That stuck with him a long time. Screwed him up a lot too, along with most things his parents did. All he’d wanted was to think of his sister somewhere good, continuing on in a way, but his parents had dashed those hopes.

Though now, sitting here like this, he likes to imagine his sister in a neighborhood similar to this, looking up at the same clouds. Maybe she has a soulmate of her own now, and she’s happy. He really hopes she is. After the life she had, she deserves to be happy. Sure, she didn’t always make the best choices. He knows that now. His parents always liked to throw in his face that she wasn’t the hero he thought she was. That it was her own fault she’d died. But he knows better. They’d driven her to it, and that’s something he’ll never forgive them for.

Theo spends most of his days wandering the neighborhood. There’s surprisingly very little to do here, and he finds himself getting bored. Which then makes him feel guilty. He’s in the Good Place. How can he be bored? 

_ Because good is boring _ , he thinks. He shakes the thought away. That’s not necessarily true. No matter what he was raised to believe, and then wound up being. He’ll just have to get creative in finding ways to occupy himself.

Fortunately for him, there’s a welcome party tonight. That seems like the perfect place to let loose and have some fun. 

Except then he gets there and he sees Liam. He’s standing with a woman at the bar, and he looks pretty miserable. Apparently Theo isn’t the only one having a hard time here. He’s about to go over and save him from what looks like a very one-sided conversation when he sees Danny at the bar. He’s drunk, clearly. So much that he’s swaying in his seat, and sends a glass flying off the bar when he waves his hand. 

He’s torn. Does he go to Liam or Danny? He’s been in Danny’s shoes before many times. He knows getting that drunk never leads to making the best choices. Even in the Good Place, mistakes can be made. He looks at Liam one more time before walking over to Danny. He grabs the shot glass Danny is reaching for and moves it out of the way.

“Hey,” Danny says, glaring at him. “I was drinking that.”

“Not anymore you’re not,” Theo says. “You’re going home.”

“Home,” Danny scoffs. “You mean my tiny house? My house that I can barely fit in?”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Theo says.

“It is!” Danny says. “It is that bad, Theo. I can’t even stand up. I have to crawl around my own house.”

“You can always stay with me tonight,” Theo offers.

Danny’s eyes light up, “Really?”

“Of course,” Theo tells him. “My couch is yours.”

“I will take the possibility of an uncomfortable house over having to crawl through my tiny house and be with Chad.”

Theo has only met Chad once. All he could think at the time was he looked like a Chad. 

“What kind of name is _Chad_?” Danny continues. “Like who has a baby and thinks ‘oh, we should name him Chad?’ The name itself sounds obnoxious and pretentious, so of course he’d have to be.”

Theo snorts, “It does sound obnoxious.”

“Right?” Danny says. He sighs. “I’m glad someone agrees with me.”

“Of course I do,” Theo says. He puts a hand on Danny’s back and helps him to his feet. “Now let’s get out of here.”

“Lead the way, sailor,” Danny says.

Theo huffs out a laugh and leads him down the hall towards the door. Bobby stops them on the way out. “Leaving so soon?”

“Yeah, Danny’s not feeling well,” Theo says.

“Oh pity,” Bobby says. “I know how much you love parties.”

“Parties have always been my thing,” Danny sniffs. “It’s a pity I don’t have the room to throw them,” he says under his breath.

“Well, I should get him home,” Theo says. “But it was nice to see you, Bobby.”

“And you as well,” Bobby says. “Theo, Danny.”

They walk down the street to Theo’s house and Theo helps Danny inside. He finds him some clothes to change into to sleep in and sends him off to the bathroom. He changes quickly himself and calls Kira to bring some extra blankets and pillows for Danny to use.

“Would you prefer a bed?” Kira asks.

“A bed?” Theo questions.

“Yes,” Kira says. “I can bring one for you.”

Theo turns to Danny, who’s just emerged from the bathroom. “Do you want Kira to bring a bed?”

Danny face plants on the couch, “Just leave me here to die.”

“You are dead,” Kira says, ever chipper. 

“Then let me die again,” Danny mumbles into the cushion. 

“I think a pillow and some blankets will be fine,” Theo tells her.

“Okay!” 

Theo blinks and suddenly there are pillows and blankets in her hands. He takes them from her and she disappears. Theo shakes his head and walks over to the couch.

“Do you want a pillow?” Theo asks. “Or do you plan to die uncomfortably with a stiff neck?”

“I guess I’ll take a pillow,” Danny says. He lifts his head and looks at Theo. “Do you know what it’s made of?”

“I didn’t have a chance to ask,” Theo says. 

He holds it out and Danny takes it, shoving it under his head. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. Anything is better than my horrible bed at home.”

“Can’t you just ask Kira for a different one?” Theo suggests.

“No,” Danny says. “Because then I’ll look ungrateful and selfish, and I am not either of those things. I just have standards. And there is nothing wrong with that.”

“Of course there’s not,” Theo says, placatingly. 

He lays the blanket over Danny, who grumbles and snuggles further under it. “Good night.”

“Yes, good night,” Danny says. “And Theo?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for letting me stay here.”

Theo smiles, “Of course. That’s what friends are for.”

“Yes,” Danny says. “Friends. I like that.”

Theo leaves him and crawls up to his bed. He lays there for a while, staring at the ceiling. He’s always had trouble sleeping, and that hasn’t changed since dying. Which is interesting. Then again, what does he need to sleep for if he’s dead? 

He wishes he could though. Sometimes he just wants to be able to shut off his mind for a while. Stop himself from overthinking and worrying. His biggest worry lately has been someone figuring him out, or really, his secret.

He knows something is off here. He can just feel it. And he has a feeling it has something to do with him. Because he doesn’t belong here.

He knows the life he led. He knows there’s no way those deeds would have ever allowed him to get into the Good Place. So how is he here? 

And then there’s that note. And Liam. There are so many missing pieces and it’s weighing on him. The lack of answers is driving him crazy. But the only person he wants to talk to about it wants nothing to do with him. He wondered for a while if maybe it was the wrong Liam, but there’s no other Liam here. And he can just _feel_ it. That’s the Liam he needs. The one he was supposed to find. But why?

* * *

Theo wakes to someone yelling. He opens his eyes and shoots up from his bed and looks around. He spots Danny on the floor, tangled up in his blankets.

“What are you doing?” he grumbles.

“Oh,” Danny says. “It’s you.”

“Yes,” Theo says. “It’s me. Because you’re in my house.”

“I am?”

“Yes, Danny, you stayed here last night,” Theo says. “Because you got drunk and didn’t want to go home.”

“Oh,” Danny says. “Yes, that’s right. Of course I didn’t want to go home. I hate that house.”

“And Chad,” Theo teases.

Danny grimaces, “Yes, _Chad_.”

He says it with such distaste that Theo has to laugh. At least he’s not the only one with problems here. Which, come to think of it, it seems like quite a few people are having issues. Shouldn’t the Good Place be making people happy?

Strange. 

“I suppose I should go home,” Danny says. “I don’t want people to make assumptions.”

“Like what?” Theo asks.

“When I walk home in another man’s clothes after being out all night,” Danny says.

“People did see us leave together,” Theo says. “And I am soulmate-less.”

“Oh god,” Danny groans. They _will_ talk.” He looks Theo over. “Though you would have been my type.”

“Would have been?”

“Of course,” Danny says. “I’m faithful to Chad now.”

“Of course.” Theo nods seriously. "There is such a thing as staying over at a friend's house. That's all this was, and anyone that tries to say otherwise is an idiot."

Danny smiles, "Yes, I suppose they would be. Thank you Theo. Not just for letting me stay, but for being a friend. I've never had a lot of those."

"Well, you do now," Theo tells him. He waits a moment before asking, "Do you know anything about Liam?"

"Liam Dunbar?" Danny asks. Theo nods. "Not a lot, admittedly. Much as I try to know people, Liam's not exactly been very open."

"What's up with the whole two soulmates thing?" Theo asks.

Danny shrugs, "Some people are lucky to have an option."

"Some people are lucky to have soulmates," Theo adds.

Danny smiles sympathetically, "Yes, I suppose so. But trust me on this, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I mean, just look at poor Liam with that impossible choice."

"He did seem rather put out by it," Theo muses.

"I'm sure he'll make his decision eventually," Danny says. He studies Theo's face for a moment. "Try not to make it any more difficult for him."

"How would I be making things more difficult for him?"

"By putting yourself into the mix," Danny says. "It's not hard to tell you're interested in him."

He is, but not in the way that Danny thinks. But he can't exactly explain that. Not when he doesn't know what's even going on. He'd seem mad using a note he apparently left himself to track down Liam. 

No, this stays between him and Liam. As long as Liam hasn't told anyone else, of course. He didn't seem the type to gossip. Not that Theo would know. 

"I'm not interested in Liam," Theo says. When Danny raises an eyebrow, he laughs "I'm not! I was just curious, that's all. Doesn’t mean I'm interested."

"If you say so," Danny mutters.

"I do," Theo insists.

"I think someone is living in denial, and I'm not talking about the river in Africa."

"Oh fork off," Theo laughs. "I can't be interested in someone I don’t know."

Except that's not necessarily true. Because something tells Theo he does know Liam. And it all has to do with the note. If only he knew what it meant.

* * *

It’s an hour after Danny has left that Kira pops into his living room. “Hi there!”

“Kira,” Theo says. “Everything okay?”

“Everything is pleasant,” Kira says. She thrusts out her hand, which has a piece of paper in it. “This is for you.”

“This seems a little familiar,” Theo says, taking the note. “Don’t tell me I left myself another note somehow.”

“No,” Kira says. “This one is from Liam.”

Theo looks down at it, curious. “Liam told you to give me this?”

“He did,” Kira says. “It seemed important.”

“Right, thank you Kira.”

“Of course,” Kira says. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I think I’m good.”

“Okay bye!”

She disappears, and Theo looks down at the note before quickly unfolding it. Written is:

_ Theo, _

_ I need to speak to you. Come to my place at your earliest convenience.  _

_ Liam. _

Interesting. His curiosity has him heading towards the door and down the street to Liam's house. It feels strange knocking on the door for some reason. Liam answers on the second knock. 

"Oh good, you got my note," he says. "Come in."

He steps back and Theo walks inside. Liam leads the way into the living room and Theo follows. 

"So I was looking through some of my books," Liam says. "And I realized the note is written on a piece of paper from a book in my personal library.”

"You're sure?" Theo says. 

"Positive," Liam says. "The book is missing a piece at the corner of one of the pages."

"So did you call me here to berate me for ripping your book?"

"No, though that wasn't respectful to the book," Liam says. "I'm saying, I think we've met before."

And there it is. A somewhat explanation for what he's been feeling. "I've been feeling that too."

"What I don't understand is how," Liam says. "Could we be in some sort of time loop we're not remembering? And maybe your note was a way to try and get us to?"

"I'm not sure the answer is really so science fiction," Theo says. 

"Then what other explanation is there?" Liam asks. 

"Liam?" a female voice calls from the front hall. 

Liam’s eyes widen. He grabs the note and Theo's hand and drags him towards the back of the house. 

"What are you doing?" Theo asks.

"It's Hayden," Liam says. 

"You're hiding from one of your soulmates?" Theo questions.

Liam shushes him and pulls him out of the back door before quietly shutting it behind them. They creep along the side of the house until they reach the road. Then Liam starts running, pulling Theo with him. 

They run into Theo's house and Liam shuts the door and leans back against it. Theo raises an eyebrow.

"What's going on with you?" Theo asks him.

"I don't think Hayden or Nolan are my soulmates," he says. 

"You don't?"

Liam bites his lip, looking unsure for a moment before he speaks quietly. "I've been trying but I don't feel any connection to them. And I know sometimes these things take time. And I'd been trying. But I still never felt anything for them. And then…"

"What?"

"Then I met you."

"Liam, you barely wanted anything to do with me when we met."

"I know," Liam says. "I was so wrapped up in my own problems. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

This is wrong. Liam has two potential soulmates. He shouldn't be talking like this. "Liam, you shouldn't be saying these things."

"Why not?" Liam asks, taking a step closer. "Are you really going to tell me you don't feel it too?"

He should. He really should. But Liam keeps coming closer and looking at him with those blue eyes. Theo stands frozen. 

"I think this is why you were supposed to look for me, Theo," Liam says. "I think we were important to each other, but we just can't remember it."

Theo feels helpless under his gaze, "I think so too."

Liam smiles and puts a hand on his cheek, "Do something for me."

"Anything," the word is whispered without his permission, but he knows it’s true. 

"Kiss me," Liam says. "Kiss me, and if we don't feel anything we can just forget this ever happened and never speak of it again."

Theo wants to ask what happens if they do feel something. It seems like it would complicate everything. Danny had warned him about this. 

But Liam is so close, and Theo feels himself coming undone under his gaze. So he does the only thing he can. He takes Liam's face in his hands and he kisses him. 

Part of him was hoping he wouldn't feel anything. That would be easier. But instead his body feels alight with desire and hope and longing. He pulls Liam closer and Liam groans.

“You feel it,” he murmurs against Theo’s lip. “I know you do.”

“I do,” Theo whispers. “But we shouldn’t…”

“Please,” Liam whispers. “Please don’t push me away.”

Liam pulls him closer and for a moment, Theo sinks into it, letting everything else fall away. But then he makes himself pull back, “Wait.”

Liam blinks up at him, “What?”

“I have to tell you something,” Theo says. “And it could change how you feel.”

“I doubt that,” Liam says.

“I’m serious,” Theo says. He takes a deep breath, preparing himself. “I don’t belong here.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Here in the Good Place,” Theo says. “I don’t belong here.”

Liam frowns, “What makes you say that?”

“I wasn’t a good person,” Theo says. “In fact, I was a pretty shirt person. Enough to know I shouldn’t be here. And I’m certainly not good enough for you.”

“That’s really not true,” Liam says. 

“It is,” Theo says. “If I was any sort of decent person, I wouldn’t have kissed you. Not knowing you’re already meant to be with someone else.”

“I already told you I don’t feel anything for them,” Liam says. “Nothing. Especially not compared to what I feel for you.”

“You don’t know me,” Theo says.

“But I feel like I do,” Liam says. “And you said you felt the same.”

“I do,” Theo sighs, resting his head against Liam’s. “I feel something for you, and I can’t explain why or how, but I feel like we’re meant to know each other.”

“I feel that too,” Liam says. “And we’ll figure this out.”

“I know we will,” Theo says. “Especially with a genius like you on the case.”

“What makes you think I’m smart?”

“You were an ethics professor,” Theo says. “Of course you are.”

“I don’t know,” Liam says. “I had plenty of idiot professors.”

Theo laughs, “Well, you’re definitely not one of them.”

Liam smiles and kisses him again, softer this time. “Let me stay,” he mumbles. “Please.”

Theo already knows he’d never send Liam away. Not when all he wants is to have him closer.

A knock sounds on the door and Liam tightens his arms around him, “Don’t answer it.”

“It could be important,” Theo says.

“Nothing good ever comes from a random knock at the door,” Liam says.

Theo supposes that’s true. He thinks of the time the cops knocked on his door all those years ago and brought news of Tara’s death, and not to mention those pushy salespeople. He doesn’t think either of those are going to happen here, but he still doesn't rush to answer it.

“Theo,” Bobby calls. “It’s Bobby.”

“And Hayden,” Hayden calls.

Liam winces, “I told you it was nothing good.”

“Yes, Hayden and Nolan are with me as well,” Bobby says. “If you’re in there, could you open the door?”

“He doesn’t know you’re in here,” Liam says. Theo fights back a groan when he nips at his jaw. “Just stay here with me.”

“You’ll be the death of me,” Theo mutters. “You know, if I wasn’t already dead.”

Liam smiles against his skin, “Does that mean you won’t open the door?”

“I suppose I could be convinced not to,” Theo smirks, letting Liam lead him further into the house, away from the door.

“Hi there!”

They both jump at the sound of Kira’s voice nearby. Theo turns his head. “Kira?”

“Bobby sent me in to check on you to make sure you’re okay,” Kira says. “You both look okay. Though a little flushed.” She tilts her head. “Humans can’t get sick here, so that can’t be what’s wrong with you.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Theo says. “We were just… exercising.”

“I see,” Kira says. “Well, I’ll tell Bobby you’re both okay.”

“No Kira…”

But it’s too late. She’s popped away again. Theo sighs when another knock sounds at the door. “Theo, Liam, can you open the door please?”

Theo looks to Liam who shrugs, “I suppose there’s no way around this.”

“I suppose not,” Theo agrees.

He moves to open the door, surprised to see not only Bobby, Hayden and Kira, but Nolan, Danny, Chad, Scottsani, and his soulmate Isaac as well. They all enter and Bobby turns to Theo and Liam, raising an eyebrow. 

“I hope we’re not interrupting anything,” Bobby says.

“Yes,” Hayden says, her tone icy. “You two do look like you’ve been busy.”

“They were exercising,” Kira says.

“It’s nice to stay active,” Theo says, 

“Oh, I’m sure you two were active,” Hayden says. She looks at Theo with narrowed eyes. “Especially with all that running away you did.”

“Running away?” Liam asks. “Who was running away?”

“Oh don’t give me that Liam,” Hayden says. “I saw you and Theo running off together. Which is why I went to Bobby.”

“And you went because?” Theo asks. 

“Because I knew you were trying to sneak in and steal him away,” Hayden says. “You don’t have a soulmate, so you’re trying to steal mine, or well,” she looks to Nolan, who has been fairly quiet. “Ours.”

“How do you feel about this, Nolan?” Bobby asks.

“I just want Liam to be happy,” Nolan says.

“Well, that’s nice,” Hayden says. “But _Theo_ wasn’t one of his options.”

“Maybe not, but he’s who my heart wants,” Liam says.

Hayden snorts, “Liam, you won’t know what you want. You’ve said so yourself that you’ve never been able to make a choice in your life.”

“Maybe not,” Liam says. “But I am now.”

“Well, if he gets to choose then why can’t I?” Danny asks. “Or the rest of us?”

“Yeah,” Scottsani says. “Why can’t we choose?” Everyone stares at him, and he frowns. “What?”

“You’re talking,” Danny says.

Scottsani blinks, “Oh. Yeah. Well, this is important enough to break that vow.”

“I see,” Bobby says. “And you have issues with your soulmate?”

“He doesn’t say anything,” Scottsani says.

“And mine says too much,” Danny says. “He’s selfish and egotistical.”

“And you’re not?” Chad says. “You think too much about what people think of you, Danny. And care more about objects than people.”

“That’s not true,” Danny argues.

“Isn’t it?” Chad asks. “You hate our house.”

“Because it’s so small!”

Theo stands there, listening as they bicker, and soon Hayden starts in on Liam again. It’s all a mess. Theo has to wonder how things could be so screwed up in someplace called the Good Place. Shouldn’t things be perfect here? Unless…

“Oh my forking god,” Theo says. “I’ve figured it out.”

“What?” Liam asks.

“Why we’ve all been so miserable,” Theo says. “This isn’t the Good Place! It’s the Bad Place!”

“Are you forking kidding me?” Bobby asks. “Again?”

“I knew something was up when I got that note,” Theo says. “That I had to know Liam somehow. And I was right. Liam was a little off with the time loop, I’m guessing. But someone has messed with our memories.”

“Yes, yes,” Bobby says. “You’re in the Bad Place, and you figured this out before and I wiped your memories.” He pauses, looking at Theo. “What note?”

“This one,” Theo says, thrusting it forward. “I left myself a note to find Liam. And I promise you, no matter what you do, we will always find each other.”

Bobby smirks, “We’ll see about that.”

Theo turns to Liam, suddenly afraid he’d made a mistake here. Maybe he shouldn’t have revealed the note to Bobby. “Liam…”

“I know,” Liam says. “I’ll find you too.”

And they do. 802 times. 802 resets, each time with their memory erased, but in each one Theo figures it out. But each time their memories are wiped and everything is rebooted. If Theo knew of any of this, he might lose what little there is left of his already fragile hope. But each time he starts with no memory of what happened and somehow finds himself drawn to Liam, and Liam to him. 

It’s strange, he supposes. At first they were thrown together and told they were soulmates only to find out that all had been a lie. But still, they’re drawn together. Even when Bobby tries to keep them apart, they make their way together somehow. Two people meant to be together no matter what the odds. What was supposed to be torture for the both of them, and soulmates only a joke at the time, had turned into more. 

It’s during the 802nd reset that Theo and Liam are walking through town. Something they have done hundreds of times before. This time, however, is different. They hear a noise in the alley and creep along the buildings towards it to take a look.

“Are you sure we should be spying like that?” Liam asks.

“We’re not spying,” Theo says.

“Then what do you call what we're doing?”

“Checking out people acting suspicious,” Theo replies. He peeks around the corner and has to fight back a gasp. 

He apparently doesn’t do a very good job, because Liam hears him and creeps closer. “What is it?”

“There are people there,” Theo says. “But also something else. It’s not human.”

“What? Like a dog?”

Sweet, innocent Liam. Of course he’d think it was a dog just hanging out with some people skulking in an alley. “Not exactly,” Theo says.

Liam moves to look around Theo. His eyes widen and he moves back out of sight. “That isn’t human!” he hisses.

“Told you.”

“What is it?” Liam asks. “An alien?”

“I don’t know,” Theo says.

He sneaks closer and tries to catch what the people are talking about. “I’m telling you this place is a load of shirt,” one of them says.

“I know,” says another. “It’s the worst. Whoever let Bobby design a version of the Bad Place should be fired.”

_ A version of the Bad Place _ ? What are they talking about?

“It was fun the first few times,” one of the people says. “But after 800 versions of this, it’s getting old. There are only so many times we can torture people over the same thing.”

“That is the whole point of the Bad Place,” someone points out.

“I don’t give a shirt,” someone says. Theo realizes it’s the creature. A demon. It has to be. “We are not paid near enough for this.”

“You get paid?” one of the others says.

“Yeah, don’t you?”

“No! I didn’t realize that was an option. Bobby just asked for volunteers.”

“Liam,” Theo says slowly and quietly, backing away. “We need to go.”

“What? Why?” Liam asks.

“I’ll explain later,” Theo says. He takes Liam’s hand and starts pulling him away from the alley. “We just need to get out of here.” If there is a way out. Surely there has to be.

He spots a train station and frowns. He always wondered what the point of it was if no one ever went anywhere. “Kira,” he calls.

Kira pops into view, “Hello Theo. Liam. What can I assist you with?”

“Is there a way out of here?” Theo asks.

“What do you mean?” Kira asks.

“The neighborhood,” Theo says. “Like a middle ground of sorts?”

“There is the Medium Place,” Kira says. “It only has one inhabitant, Jackson Whittemore.”

“Can we get there?” Theo asks. “And how?”

“Yes, there is a train,” Kira says. “But you’re really not supposed to leave the neighborhood.”

“I know that,” Theo says. “But it’s important that we do. So please, tell us how to work the train.”

“I’m the only one who can drive it,” Kira says.

“I need you to take us to the Medium Place, Kira. Please.”

“Okay,” Kira says. She walks onto the train without another word.

“What?” Liam questions. He grabs Theo’s arm before he can move to follow Kira on board. “Theo, you need to tell me what’s going on. Why are we leaving the Good Place for the Medium Place?”

“Because this isn’t the Good Place,” Theo says. “It’s the Bad Place.”

“What? That’s crazy.”

“I know how it sounds, but it’s the truth,” Theo says. “I need you to trust me.”

“I do,” Liam says. “Of course I do.”

“Then please get on the train so we can get out of here and figure this out.”

Liam nods and follows Theo onto the train where Kira is waiting. Theo sits down and pulls Liam with him. “We’re ready,” he tells Kira. Once they’re on their way, he turns to Liam. “What did you hear the people in the alley talking about?”

“I couldn’t hear them,” Liam admits.

“They were complaining about their jobs,” Theo says. “Their jobs here in Bobby’s version of the Bad Place.”

Liam frowns, “What? What do they mean Bobby’s version?”

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “But apparently their job is to torture us.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense,” Liam says. “I have been put under a lot of pressure to make choices, and well, they’ve never been what I’m good at,” Liam says. 

“Yeah I think they’re exploiting the worst bits of us,” Theo says.

“What are they torturing you with?” Liam asks.

Theo wishes this question was easy. He’s not really sure how to answer it, but he still tries. For Liam. “Myself, I guess. Having to deal with all the pain I caused and just what a horrible, selfish person I was.”

“I don’t think you’re horrible or selfish,” Liam tells him.

Theo smiles, “And I don’t think you’re horrible at making choices,” Theo tells him.

“It doesn’t cause me as much stress as it used to. At least not when you’re there,” Liam admits. “You help calm me.”

Theo smiles, “You calm me too.”

And it’s true. He’s only known Liam for a short time, but he feels a sense of peace around him he’s never felt with anyone before. As if he can just be himself. No one’s ever made him feel like he could do that before. He spent a large part of his life hiding behind walls, afraid to let them down. But with Liam, it's as easy as breathing. He has to wonder how many times he’s had the same thought. The people in the alley had said they’d been through this hundreds of times. Does that mean each time he’s found himself pulled towards Liam? 

The thought is a little scary, if he’s being honest with himself. He’s never let himself get attached to someone before. Not since his parents proved themselves to be utterly incapable parents, and his sister had died. There was never anyone else. He’d learned to live for himself and only himself. It had been easier that way. He couldn’t be hurt if he was only looking out for himself.

He supposes that’s one of many on the long list of reasons he wound up in the Bad Place. The most confusing part is how someone like Liam had. Liam who has so much goodness in him. Theo wishes he could be that good. That kind. That strong and caring and all around wonderful. Maybe one day he can learn to be half the man Liam is. He certainly hopes so.

“We’re here,” Kira says. 

Theo looks out of the window and frowns, “There’s nothing here.”

“Yes, as I said, there is only one inhabitant,” Kira says. “Jackson Whittemore. He lives in that house, just over there.”

Theo really wonders how one person can live here and stay sane. He guesses he’s about to find out.

“Oh, you're back,” the man who must be Jackson says when he opens the door.

“Jackson?” Theo says.

“Yes,” Jackson says. “Jackson Whittemore. I’d say at your service, but I’m really not.”

“I know you don't know us,” Theo begins.

Jackson snorts, “Oh I know you. This is the sixteenth time you’ve been here, Mr. Raeken.”

Theo frowns and follows Jackson into the house. “What?”

“Oh yes, you come here after discovering you’re in the Bad Place, and each time you leave here with a plan to defeat Bobby. It’s clearly never worked.”

“Well, it will this time,” Theo says.

Jackson smirks and falls back onto the couch, “You say that every time too.” He looks over at Liam and his smirk grows. “And you bring that one.”

Theo’s not surprised he’d bring Liam every time he escaped the Bad Place. Of course he would. Liam’s important. He’s at least figured that much out. 

“Do you have any books here?” Liam asks. “Anything I can use to figure this out?”

“There are some you left in one of the bedrooms the last time you were here,” Jackson says, nodding his head towards the hall. 

“Great, thanks.” 

Liam leaves with Kira, leaving Jackson and Theo alone. “So I take it you two haven’t had sex yet.”

Theo’s eyes widen, “Excuse me?”

“You and Liam,” Jackson says. “You two often form a sexual relationship when you’re here, and once even mutually professed your love.”

_ Love _ . Theo knows he cares about Liam, but love is such a big scary word. He’s never let himself fall in love before. So he laughs. “No way.”

“It’s true,” Jackson says. “I even have it on tape.”

“Excuse me?” Theo says. “You have a tape of me and Liam?”

“Yes, let’s say it’s just one.”

Theo frowns, “Why would you…?”

“I don’t have a lot of options for material here if you know what I mean,” Jackson says. “And you're both attractive people. And watching you two together…”

“Okay nope,” Theo says. “Nope I do not need to hear the end of that sentence.”

“I’m just saying if you ever want a third…”

He winks and Theo gets back to his feet, “I’m going to find Liam.”

“Oh, I’m sure you are.”

Theo quickens his pace as he moves down the hall. He finds Liam in one of the rooms, sitting on the bed with books in front of him. Along with papers. “What are those?” Theo asks, sitting next to him on the bed.

“Our notes,” Liam says. “Apparently Jackson was right and we have been here multiple times before.”

Theo thinks of what Jackson says about them and has to make himself look away from Liam and down at the papers. He can’t be thinking about that right now. He needs to focus. 

He brings one of the papers closer and frowns down at it, “Blow up the bad place?”

“Yeah I don’t think that’s either of ours,” Liam says.

“Who would want to blow the Bad Place up?”

“Scott,” Jackson says from the door. “Most of his ideas involved blowing things up.”

“Scott?” Theo asks. “Wait, Scottsani? He’s a monk who’s taken a vow of silence. There’s no way these are his ideas.”

“I assure you, they are,” Jackson says. “And he’s no monk. He’s a DJ from Florida.”

“What?” Liam asks. “Seriously?”

“Yep,” Jackson says. “Though I’m thinking he wasn’t a very good one.”

“I’m sure he was fine,” Kira says.

“Okay so we’re not using this, or any of the ideas involving fire,” Theo says, putting them aside. 

“You shouldn’t use any of them if they failed,” Jackson unhelpfully points out.

“Obviously,” Liam says. “But looking at these can help us know what _not_ to do.”

“And once we know that, we can figure out a new plan,” Theo says. 

They spend most of the night going over the papers. Liam eventually falls asleep and Theo nudges him until he crawls up the bed and under the covers. Theo moves the papers off the bed so they won’t wind up scattered all across the floor. He’s about the leave when Liam’s quiet voice reaches him.

“Stay.”

He looks over his shoulder at Liam to see his eyes on him. He could just walk away. It would be the safe and smart thing to do. But when has Theo ever done the smart thing? So he turns and moves back towards the bed. He crawls under the covers next to Liam. 

He lays there on his back, listening to Liam’s quiet breathing as he falls asleep. Part of him is relieved that nothing happens. After what he learned about his relationship(s) with Liam, it’s probably for the best. He’s too confused, too torn about what he’s found out.

Especially when that one word, so simple sounding but packing so much meaning, sounds in his head. _Love. Love. Love_.

He doesn’t understand how it’s possible. He’s never fallen in love before. Never thought he was capable of it. He tells himself Jackson could be wrong. He could be lying, or messing with him. But looking at the sleeping man next to him, he doesn’t think it’s so impossible to fall for someone like him. Terrifying, yes, but impossible, no. And it’s that lack of impossibility that scares him.


	8. Chapter 8

They head back to the Bad Place the next day. Jackson sneaks Theo a tape and winks. And Theo immediately knows what’s on it. It feels heavy in the bag on his shoulder. He can feel Liam’s eyes on him but ignores him. He doesn't know how he’d begin to explain what he found out. Though he does know if it winds up being true that Liam has a right to know. It’s his life too. And keeping that secret wouldn’t be fair. 

The plan is a little crazy, Theo admits. Probably not their best one, but it’s the only one they have under short circumstances. He gathers Scott and Danny as well, and the four go to Bobby’s office.

Bobby looks up as Theo knocks and then enters without waiting for a reply. “Theo? Oh, and Liam, Danny, and Scott as well. This is a surprise.”

“Is it though?” Theo asks. “Or is this something that keeps happening?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Bobby says. Now that Theo knows the truth about him, it’s not hard to miss the obvious fakeness to his smile and calm demeanor. 

“You know exactly what I mean,” Theo says. “And why we’re here.”

“We know we’re in the Bad Place,” Liam says.

Bobby smirks, “Oh? Figured it out, have you?”

“Yes,” Theo says. “We have. And not for the first time, it seems.”

“Oh no, definitely not the first,” Bobby says. “Though this is the first time you’ve actually confronted me about it, so I’m definitely impressed.”

“We don’t need you to be impressed. We need you to stop forking with us,” Theo says.

“Okay,” Bobby says.

“And I don’t care what you have to…” he stops, Bobby’s words registering. “Did you just say okay?”

“Yes,” Bobby says. “I will stop forking with you, if you agree to help me,”

“Help you?” Theo says. “You’ve spent who knows how long torturing us and you want us to _help_ you?”

“Yes,” Bobby says. “I want to propose an alliance. I’ll reboot the neighborhood again, only this time I’ll keep your memories in fact. You go about your business. Or I’ll just reboot the neighborhood anyway, and wipe your memories like I have so many times before. Only this time will be the last before Brett will report me and I’ll be tortured for all eternity and so will you.”

“We’re already being tortured,” Theo points out.

“But not this time,” Bobby says. “Okay yes, there will still need to be a little torture for appearances, but this time you’ll know. You’ll have your memories. You’ll have each other.”

“I don’t know,” Danny says. “I still don’t think I belong here.”

“Danny, you died when a statute of your brother Tommy fell on you when you tried to pull it down,” Bobby says.

“Yes, well, I suppose that was a little much,” Danny says. “Fine, you have my support.”

“Scott?” Bobby asks.

Scott smiles up at him, “I don’t know what’s going on but I like your bow tie, so I guess I trust you.”

“Good,” Bobby says. He looks to Theo and Liam. “And you two?”

“I’m in too,” Liam says.

“What?” Theo says. “Liam…”

“My work in life in ethics was unsuccessful,” Liam says. “And if this is the only way to survive the reboot with our memories intact and find a way out of this, then I’m in.”

“Well, I’m not,” Theo says. “Because I don’t trust you.”

“You don’t have to trust me,” Bobby says. “You’ll have your memories, Theo. You’ll have your friends. Liam. You know, never once did he refuse to help you when you asked. Are you really going to let him down now?”

Theo looks to Liam and bites his lip. Of course he can’t let him down. “Fine,” he says. “I’m in too. But there will be a condition.”

“Of course there will be,” Bobby says. “What is it you want?”

“You must participate in Liam’s ethics classes,” Theo says. “If we’re going to be allies, then you have some serious shirt you need to work on.”

Bobby sighs, “Fine. Even though I see all humans as cockroaches, I’ll do it.”

“And that is exactly what we need to work on,” Theo says.

“So you’re in?”

Theo looks to Liam, who gives him an encouraging nod. “Yeah, I’m in.”

“Good,” Bobby says. “Now let’s get cracking.”

He reboots the neighborhood, and keeps his word. The four humans have their memories intact. Kira comes to them, saying it is her job to keep humans happy, and since they are the only four humans they have her help as well. 

Bobby tells them he’s working on a way to get them all into the Good Place, but Theo still isn’t sure he trusts him. Still, he stays silent. Not for himself, but for Liam. If there is anyone who deserves a chance at really being in the Good Place, it’s him.

That night, he stares at the tape in his hands before calling Kira to bring him a TV and VCR. He puts the tape in and watches as he and Liam appear on screen. They're lying in bed together, in what Theo recognizes as the room from Jackson's. From what Theo can tell they're not wearing clothes. Theo's laying on his back while Liam is laying with his head on his chest.

“Hey Liam?” the Theo on screen asks the Liam in his arms

Liam lifts himself up and looks down at him with a smile. “Yeah?”

“I love you,” he says. The words seem to come so easily for the Theo on the screen, just sliding from his lips like it's nothing.

Liam’s smile grows before he leans down and kisses him. “I love you too.”

Theo finds himself watching it over and over, taking in each expression on their faces, how the words sound coming from his own lips and Liam’s. It doesn’t seem real but there it is. Proof. He and Liam were together. And not just together. They loved each other. 

Now that he’s seen the tape, he knows he has no other choice. He has to show Liam.

* * *

Theo paces the floor of his living room as he waits for Liam to show up. He's not usually nervous, least of all around Liam. But right now he is. Maybe it's knowing what he's about to show Liam, and the fact that he doesn't know how he'll react. 

Theo isn't sure how he _wants_ him to react. Positively? Negatively? Indifferent? There are so many possibilities. He's not sure what the best one would be.

Except when Liam shows up he's not alone. Bobby is with him. 

"Hey," Theo says. "Liam. Bobby."

"I figured this would be a good time to start Bobby on his ethics lessons," Liam says. He looks up from his bag to Theo. "If that's okay?"

"No, yeah, of course," Theo says. "That's part of the agreement after all."

"And I intend to stick to my word," Bobby says. 

He does try, Theo supposes. But it’s not easy. It’s actually kind of a disaster. Bobby has a lot of trouble relating to human ethics. Something that Liam easily picks up on. 

“You can’t relate to us,” Liam says.

“Well, no, of course I can’t,” Bobby says. “You’re humans. Your lives are so fragile. So short. So temporary.”

“I think your existence is just as fragile,” Liam says.

“What do you mean?” Bobby laughs. “I’m an immortal being.”

“Maybe so,” Liam says. “But you still have something that scares you. Something you’re running from. The possibility of existence-ending retirement.”

Bobby’s face falls and he stares off into space. He’s quiet for a moment, before he speaks. “You’re right. My life is fragile too. And I could be tossed into endless torture at any moment.”

“You know, sadness over death is intrinsic to humanity,” Theo says. “It’s something we’ve all had to face.”

Bobby looks at him and nods, “Yes. I think I get it a little better now. Thank you, Theo.”

“I’d say that’s a positive step in the right direction,” Liam says. “I see no reason why our lessons can’t move forward.”

Bobby and Liam keep talking, but Theo slips away. His mind is someplace else now. The talk of death has brought up a lot of his formative experiences concerning death. 

He thinks about how when he was young his mom had tried to explain the passing of their dog. She did a shirt job of it, and had left Theo more upset than ever. He remembers begging his mom not to send the dog underground because it was dark, and all his mom did was roll her eyes and take another pull from her drink, telling him the dog was gone and wouldn’t know whether it was dark or not. Parent of the year there.

He remembers after Tara died how his parents had barely even reacted. Sometimes he would hear them talking and saying she’s the one that put herself in the grave. Even at twelve years old he knew better than that. He knew if anyone was to blame for what happened to Tara, it was them. They’d fought with her and pushed her away. They pushed her until she felt no choice but to run away. Theo wishes he knew more about where her head was at that night. He remembers how distracted she’d been that day when they had lunch. How she’d always been checking her phone. Had she known then that she was going to die? 

He remembers his emancipation a few years after Tara’s death. His parents hadn’t even tried to fight him. They’d been only too happy to sign the papers and send him away. When he left, only a duffle bag slung over his shoulders, neither one had looked his way.

The next time he saw his mom after that was at his dad’s funeral. He’d been fine. They hadn’t been close. He’d been drunk when he showed up at the funeral and his mom had tried to start a fight. Theo had only rolled his eyes and told her she was a bitter, hateful woman and was going to die alone just like she deserved. 

The next thing he thinks about is a trip to Bed Bath & Beyond a few years ago. He was shopping for new rugs for the bathroom and had found himself stopping to look at toothbrush holders. He’d spotted one clearly designed for a family’s use and had found himself crying as he held it in his hands. He cried for himself and the family he never really had, and mostly he cried for the young boy who grew up alone and felt like his parents didn’t love him. They hadn’t. He knows that now. But he also knows no kid should ever have to feel like that.

“Hey.”

Theo turns his head at the sound of Liam’s voice. “Hey.” He looks around, and notices Bobby isn’t anywhere to be seen. “Where’d Bobby go?”

“Had some things to take care of,” Liam says. “Apparently he needs to keep up appearances.”

“Of course.”

Liam studies his face, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” Liam says. “You just don’t seem to fully be here.”

Theo sighs and sits heavily on the couch, “I guess I’m not.”

Liam sits next to him and knocks their shoulders together, “Where’s your head at?”

Theo laughs, “I’m not sure you want to know that.”

“Of course I do,” Liam says. “You’re my friend. If something is bothering you, I want to know.”

“I guess all the talk about death kind of got me in my head,” Theo says.

“Yeah?”

Theo nods, “Yeah. I didn’t….” he trails off, trying to figure out the best way to describe what he grew up with. “My parents weren’t the best people. They cared more about getting drunk and high than their own kids. Hell, they didn’t even care when they basically drove my sister to her death. If anything, it was another way she inconvenienced them.”

“I’m sorry,” Liam says softly. “That sounds rough.”

“I never wanted to be like them,” Theo says. “I wanted to get out, and when I couldn’t achieve that I just… I went down a bad path. I tried to numb my pain with sex and alcohol. I never let anyone get close to me. I didn’t let myself care. I was a horrible person.”

“I don’t think you were,” Liam says.

“You didn’t know me then,” Theo reminds him.

“No, but I know you now,” Liam says. “I know you didn’t have the best life when you were alive. None of us did. But I know you’re trying now. I can see that you care, Theo.”

“You sure about that?”

“I am,” Liam says. “Because you stayed. You could have fled but you stayed when you knew we needed your help.”

Theo smiles, “I guess you’ve kind of gotten into my head.”

Liam returns the smile, “You’ve gotten into mine too.”

Theo takes a deep breath and looks to the TV. “I need to show you something.”

“Okay. What is it?”

Theo stands up and grabs the tape. He puts it in the VCR and hits pause, before moving back to sit next to Liam. “When we were in the Medium Place, Jackson gave me this tape.”

“What’s on it?” Liam asks him.

“We are.”

Liam raises an eyebrow, “What do you mean _we_ are?”

“Me and you,” Theo says. He takes a deep breath. “Here just watch.”

He hits play, and he and Liam appear on screen. Theo’s watched this tape so many times, but it still sends a jolt through him seeing how comfortable they are together. He glances at Liam to see him watching it with wide eyes. 

The tape ends, and Liam just sits there gaping at the screen. Finally he blinks and turns his wide eyes to Theo. “What the heck was that?”

“Us,” Theo says. “During one of the previous times we visited Jackson.”

“We _slept_ together?” Liam asks.

“Apparently that happened often,” Theo says.

Liam blinks, “You told me you loved me.”

“I did.”

“And I said it back.”

“Yeah.”

Liam gets to his feet and starts pacing the room. “That’s… I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that, Theo.”

“I don’t either,” Theo admits. 

Liam stops and turns to face him, “Don’t take this the wrong way, Theo, but I don’t feel that I love you.”

Theo’s heart clenches. He had a feeling this could be where this was going. He smiles as best he can. “I feel the same.”

Even as he says the words, he knows they’re not true. At least not completely. He might not love Liam, but he definitely feels something. Something he’s not used to feeling for another person. He doesn’t understand it, but he knows what he has to do. He has to keep those feelings hidden. For the sake of his heart, and his friendship with Liam.

* * *

“So this is an exciting day,” Liam says. “Today we are going to tackle the Trolley problem.”

“Oh, is this a game?” Theo asks. “I go first. I call blue!”

“There’s no… No this is a thought experiment. You are driving a trolley when the brakes fail, and on the track ahead of you are five workmen that you will run over. Now, you can steer to another track, but on that track is one person you would kill instead of five. Now what do you do?”

“Do we know anything about the people?” Theo asks. “Like, is one of them an ex-boyfriend or that snooty girl from Rite Aid who was always silently judging my purchases?”

“You don’t know the people,” Liam says. 

“Oh, well then, that’s easy,” Theo says. “I switch tracks. Kill one person instead of five.”

“Good,” Liam says. “But there are a lot of different versions of this.”

“Of course there are,” Theo says.

“Like that if you knew one of the people?” Liam asks. “Does that change the equation? Or what if you’re not the driver, you’re just an innocent bystander? Or let’s throw out the trolley all together. Let’s say you’re a doctor and you can save five patients, but you have to kill one healthy person and use his organs to do it.”

“But that’s not the same thing,” Theo says.

“Isn’t it?” Liam asks. “It’s still choosing to kill one person to save five, isn’t it?”

Theo frowns. He does have a point. This whole thing makes him a little uncomfortable. But he supposes that’s the whole point of the experiment.

“Bobby, you’ve been kind of quiet,” Liam says. “What do you think about all of this?”

“Well obviously the dilemma is clear,” Bobby says. “How do you kill all six people? So I would dangle a sharp blade out the window to slice the neck of the guy on the other track as we smush our five main guys.” There’s silence from Theo and Liam as they stare at him. Bobby looks between them. “Oh I did the thing again, didn’t I?”

“Yep,” Theo says. “Ten more buddy.”

“People good,” Bobby says, repeating the words Theo and Liam have been trying to ingrain into him since they first started these sessions. Bobby’s been doing better, but sometimes he does slip. Like now. “People good. Why is this so hard to remember? People… what is it?”

“Good,” Liam says.

“Good,” Bobby repeats.

“Cool,” Theo says. He turns to Scott and Danny, who have been quiet this whole time. “So we have an hour before we have to pretend to be tortured by Brett. You want to hang out. We could work on our forced grins. Check mine out.” He does his best forced laugh. “This place is miserable, etcetera.”

“That sounds fun,” Danny says.

“Right?”

“But I was going to dive into next week's reading, I’m afraid,” Danny says. “Sorry. Scott, do you um, care to join?”

“Sure bro,” Scott says, getting to his feet and following Danny towards the door.

“You two are doing extra credit?” Theo asks.

“What can I say?” Danny asks. “This class is more fun than I thought.”

Theo looks to Liam, “What even is next week's reading?”

“I don’t know yet,” Liam says, frowning towards the door. “I haven’t decided.”

“So how are they going to work on it if you don’t even know?” Theo asks.

“That’s a good question,” Liam says.

“They’re clearly up to something,” Bobby says. “Do you want me to keep an eye on them?”

“No,” Theo says. “No spying. If they want to hang out together, let them.”

“Okay, but if you change your mind…”

“I won’t.”

Bobby shrugs, “If you say so. I suppose I should get back to the office. Tell Liam I’ve left, won’t you?”

Theo frowns. Liam was right here. Why can’t Bobby just tell him himself? Except when Theo turns around, Liam isn’t in the room. He turns back to Bobby. “Yeah, I’ll tell him.”

“Thanks Theo,” Bobby says. “Enjoy your torture today.”

He leaves Theo alone in the living room. Theo peeks his head in the kitchen to see Liam sitting at the table. He’s surrounded by books and papers and looks a little frazzled. 

“How’s it going teach?” Theo asks, taking a seat across from him. “Kitchen is looking nice and crazy.”

“I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out a way to get through to Bobby,” Liam says. “What do you think about writing a rap musical about Kierkegaard?”

“I think that’s a terrible idea.”

“Cool.”

Liam sighs and Theo frowns. “You know, Bobby isn’t going to learn how to be a good person overnight. He’s not even a person. He's just a bunch of evil shoved up the butt of an evil mannequin, you know? Teaching him to be good… it’s like…. teaching me how to not be hot. How would you even do it? You'd have to have me hunch over or something and then stand there with like pizza sauce all over my face. I don’t even know. I can’t even picture it because I’ve been hot my whole life.”

“I’ve seen you with pizza sauce all over your face,” Liam reminds him.

“Right and I was still hot as fork, dude, and you know it.”

Liam blinks, clearly fighting back a smile. “I’m sorry, who is this conversation for again?”

“It’s for you,” Theo says. He reaches out and places his hands on Liam’s shoulders. “I believe in you, nerd boy. If you can teach me and Scott ethics, you can teach anybody.”

That does get a smile out of Liam, “Thanks.” A beat of silence. “But definitely a no on the rap musical? I mean, if we really...“ He starts rapping, “My name is Kierkegaard, and my writing is impeccable. Check out my teleological suspension of the ethical.” He stops and shifts his gaze. “No.”

“No!”

“Right?” He laughs. “Yeah it felt like a no when I was doing it.”

“It was a nice try,” Theo says. “But I don’t think rapping about Kierkegaard is how we’re going to get through to Bobby.”

“We?”

“Yes _we_ ,” Theo says. “Because we’re in this together.”

Liam smiles and ducks his head, his glasses sliding down his nose. Theo can’t stop himself from reaching over and gently pushing them up. “Thanks,” Liam whispers.

He lifts his eyes and their gazes lock, and Theo feels his heart flutter in his chest. Theo clears his throat and drops his hand, averting his gaze. “Yeah, no problem.”

* * *

The next morning, Bobby shows up early to Theo’s house. Liam is already there. He has papers in front of him, and Theo knows they have to be the essays Liam has asked them to write. 

“Bobby, I just want to have a little chat about your progress,” Liam says.

Bobby nods, “Okay, shoot.”

“In the last homework assignment, I asked you to examine the ethics of ‘Les Misérables,’ in which a man steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. Would you please read your first paragraph here?”

Bobby takes the paper and starts reading, "Everyone in this story sucks and belongs in the Bad Place. The thief is bad. The officer chasing him is bad. All the whiny prostitutes are bad. Plus, they're all French, so they're going to the Bad Place automatically." 

“Do you see how you're already off topic?” Liam asks him. 

“Liam, I've been around a long time... like, all of it. But I know for a fact that if you steal a loaf of bread, it's negative points.”

“Okay. Sure,” Liam says. “But philosophy is about questioning things that you take for granted, and I-I just don't think that you're doing that. I mean,” he takes the paper back from Bobby and reads from it. "I personally know that Victor Hugo is in the Bad Place being tortured. He's a real wuss, too. If one of the lava monsters even gets near the guy, he's like, _'Sacre bleu, I peed in my pants.'_ "

Bobby throws up his hands, “I don't know what you want from me. T-that's exactly what he said.”

“I just don’t feel like you’re engaging with the material,” Liam says. “Like with the Trolley Problem.”

“That was just tricky,” Bobby says. “That’s all. Why don’t you just tell me the right answer?”

“Well that’s what’s so great about the Trolley Problem is that there is no right answer.”

Bobby groans, “Ugh. This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors.”

“I’m on your side here, dude, but he’s not wrong,” Theo says.

Liam ignores him, “Okay Bobby… trust me. When it comes to human ethics, I know more than you. I’ve been studying it my whole life.”

“It’s just so theoretical, you know? I mean, you know, maybe there’s a more concrete approach.” Bobby grins suddenly. “Here, let’s try this.”

Bobby snaps his fingers and suddenly they’re no longer in the living room, but on a trolley as it speeds down the road. Liam looks around with wide eyes.

“Bobby, what did you do?”

“I made The Trolley Problem real so we could see how the ethics would actually play out,” Bobby says. “There are five workers on this track and one over there. Here are the levers to switch the tracks. Make a choice.”

The thing is, ethically speaking…”

“There’s no time, dude,” Theo says.

“Make a decision!” Bobby says.

“Well, it's tricky! I mean, on the one hand, if you ascribe to a purely utilitarian worldview…”

The trolley crashes and Theo puts his arms over his head, bracing for pain. Nothing happens. Instead they once again find themselves standing on the trolley, back where they started.

“Okay. So... what did we learn?” Bobby asks. “Liam? Talk it out, buddy. What are we thinking?”

“He thinks he just killed a bunch of people with a trolley,” Theo says.

“It's just a simulation. I would never make you kill real people.”

“Oh, well, that's reassuring, because some of the parts of the fake people flew into my mouth!” Liam shouts.

“Bobby, can we just go back to the classroom?” Theo asks.

“We never left,” Bobby tells them. “Here, I’ll show you.”

He snaps his fingers and they’re suddenly back in Theo’s living room. Theo sighs in relief, while Liam exhales shakily. Theo reaches out and squeezes his arm. 

Bobby snaps his fingers again, and suddenly they’re back on the trolley. “Look, see buddy? None of this was real. Well, they’re fake people, but their pain is real. Does that make sense? There have to be stakes, or else it’s just another thought experiment.”

“This is awful,” Liam says.

“You specifically asked me if there was a way I could connect with the material more. I'm trying, you guys.”

“Sorry. You're right.” Liam says. “I want to help you understand this.”

“Thank you, Liam,” Bobby says. “So let’s try again hmm?”

He snaps his fingers and Liam’s eyes widen, “Oh, uhh, I thought maybe we would have a discussion.”

“No, the whole point is to play the scenario in real time,” Bobby says.

Theo winces. He knows this isn’t going to go well. 

“Quick Liam!” Bobby shouts. “What’s your decision?”

“Okay,” Liam says, taking a deep breath. “I can do this. I am choosing to switch tracks, so that way, I only kill one person.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Bobby says as the trolley switches tracks. This is the scenario where you actually know one of the people. It's your friend, Mason, there.”

Liam’s eyes widen as someone, presumably Mason, comes into view. 

“Mason,” Liam whispers.

“Liam!” Mason shouts. “How are you, dude?”

“Mason! Move!”

“Oh, nice trolley,” Mason says. 

“Move out of the way!” Liam yells, the panic clear in his voice as the trolley hurdles ever closer. “Mason, move!”

“I can’t, Liam! My boots are stuck to the tracks!”

“Mason! Move!”

“Anyway, long time no…”

There’s a scream as the trolley barrels right into Mason. Theo’s not sure who it is. Liam, probably. Mason could have just before he was hit. Heck, Theo himself probably screamed. It was all very horrific. The wheels screech and the trolley stops. Liam looks out in front of them, clearly horrified.

“Oh my god.”

“Again,” Bobby says. “Just a simulation. An almost impossibly lifelike simulation, but still a simulation.”

“I hate this,” Liam mutters.

* * *

“Okay, so that was Trolley Problem version number seven,” Bobby says. “Liam opted to run over five William Shakespeare’s instead of one Santa Claus.”

“Okay, as much as I'm enjoying watching random people's heads fly off, I think we've taken this trolley thing as far as it can go,” Theo says.

“You might be right, Theo.”

“Thank you.”

“Let’s try the doctor one.”

Bobby snaps his fingers, and Theo is startled to find himself suddenly strapped to a table in what looks like a hospital. “Dude, what the fork?”

“These five people all need organ transplants, or they will die,” Bobby says, nodding out to the waiting room. “Theo's perfectly healthy. Liam, do you want to slice him open and use his organs to save the five sick people?”

“Liam, Liam, think about this. I'm your hottest friend...” Theo says, then frowns. “No, Danny. I'm your nicest friend. No, that’s Scott. I'm your friend.”

“I…I won't do it,” Liam says. “As a doctor, I've taken the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm, and although five people will die, I cannot harm one innocent person to save them and forsake my oath. It’s unethical.”

“Okay,” Bobby shrugs. “Tell their families.”

“What?”

“Doctor Liam?” Liam looks down at the little girl that has approached him. “My daddy needed a heart transplant. Did you save his life? He was working, then a really bad man ran him over with a trolley.”

“Oh! Come on!”

“What? I'm finding this incredibly helpful,” Bobby says. “I think I'm really starting to get it. Oh, I know. We'll do the one where you're in a boat next to a volcano, and you can either save people, or one awesome dog or whatever.”

“No,” Liam says. “No no no no no.”

“Hey!” Theo says, a realization hitting him suddenly. “Are you torturing us again?”

“What?” Bobby asks.

“You don’t care about learning ethics lessons,” Theo says. “You’re just torturing Liam again, aren’t you?”

“Busted.”

Liam frowns, “What?”

Bobby laughs wildly, “I’m sorry. Old habits die hard. Not as hard as those people you crushed with the trolley, though. Boom!”

“I’m sorry,” Liam says. “Is this funny to you?”

“Yeah, I thought that was obvious by my laughter.”

Liam scoffs, “Seriously?”

“Oh come on,” Bobby says. “My bad. Look, I’m still on your team, okay? I just needed to blow off a little steam. Phew.” He snaps his fingers, and they’re back in Theo's living room. “See? Back home. All good.”

“No,” Liam says. “Not all good.”

“What?”

“You keep saying we need you, or we’ll end up getting tortured forever,” Liam says. “But then we do help out, and yet we still end up getting tortured. I’d rather just be tortured than choose it.” He pauses and takes a breath. “You’re no longer welcome in my class. Get the fork out!”

Theo’s eyes widen. He’s never heard Liam curse like that. Not that he blames him. Bobby has royally forked up.

Bobby looks surprised, “But I said ‘my bad’.”

“Out!” Liam says, pointing towards the door.

Bobby leaves, slamming the door behind him, while Liam slumps down on the couch. He grabs a book and opens it, but doesn’t say anything. Theo tries to busy himself doing other things, but there’s only so much he can do. So instead, he sits next to Liam on the couch. All Liam does is continue to stare at the book. He’s not even turning the pages. He just keeps looking at the same one. It’s a little unnerving actually.

“You okay?” Theo asks finally. “You’ve been staring at the second page of this book for an hour.”

“When I'm really upset, concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. It's like a menu, but the food is words.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I can’t believe I actually thought he wanted to learn from us,” Liam mutters. “What he really wanted was to torture me, using the thing I love most in the world.”

“Woven belts?” Theo asks. “Oh, teaching. Right. I’m sorry about this, Liam. I made him take these classes, and I feel a little responsible.”

“Oh, no, it’s not your fault,” Liam says.

“You’re right, it isn’t,” Theo smiles. “And no take backs.”

“No, a tiger can't change his stripes,” Liam says. Theo tries not to wince at the words. “This is what he always wanted... me trying desperately to teach him something that he never intended to learn so I'd end up miserable with my glasses all smudged up from sweaty-forehead stress grease.”

“Okay, gross,” Theo says. “Also, I really don’t think that’s true.”

“No? What possible other reason could he have to behave that way?”

“Actually, I can think of one,” Theo says. “I just need to talk to him.”

Liam shakes his head, “You can try, but I’m not sure what that will accomplish.”

“It’s worth a shot,” Theo says. “Just give me a chance before you completely write him off.”

“Okay.”

Theo stands and starts to walk away, only to hesitate by the end of the couch. “Hey Liam?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t really think people aren’t capable of changing, do you?”

Liam looks up at him, “Some are, but no, I don’t think all people are incapable of change. You’ve certainly proved they are.”

Theo smiles at that. Liam knew exactly what he was worried about without Theo actually having to say it. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

Theo leaves him and heads to Bobby’s office. Bobby’s sitting behind his desk when Theo walks in. “I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon,” Bobby says.

“I need to talk to you about Liam,” Theo says.

Bobby sighs, “Look, I don’t know what to tell you. If Liam can’t take a joke, that’s on him.” He pauses. “Just like all that blood was.”

He laughs and holds up his hand. Theo winces. “I can’t high-five that! No matter how badly I might want to.” He needs to focus. “Look, this isn’t about Liam not being able to take a joke. This is about you. You’re doing what I used to do. You’re pulling a Theo.”

“Posting my cousin's credit card number on Reddit because she said I looked tired?” Bobby asks.

Theo snorts, and Bobby chuckles. Theo starts to laugh, and then stops himself. “I forgot I did that, but no.” He clears his throat. “Pulling a Theo in this case is lashing out when you feel like a failure. You couldn’t hack the classes. They made you feel small and dumb, so you took it out on the teacher.”

“You think I feel small and dumb?” Bobby asks. “I’m an eternal being who can see in nine dimensions. I can see from your aura that you're about to fart quietly and then lie about it. And please don’t, because I can see what you ate today.”

“Dude, you can bluster all you want, also a classic Raeken move, by the way. But deep down you know I’m right.”

Bobby rolls his eyes, “Whatever, eventually Liam will get over it.”

Theo laughs, “Ah! Leaving it up to the other person to be a grown-up. Yet another classic Raeken move. You and I are very similar.” Theo frowns to himself. “What does that say about me? Ugh. Look, Bobby, it’s 100% on you to make this up to him. As it should be. Liam is a good guy, alright? So own it. Apologize.”

Bobby sighs, “ _Fine_. I’ll apologize.”

Theo honestly had expected him to put up a bigger fight about it, but he’s certainly not going to complain. He leaves Bobby to think through his apology and goes to collect Danny and Scott like Bobby asks. Apparently this is going to be a good ol’ group apology. He just hopes Bobby can make it sincere.

Liam looks suspicious when Bobby shows up later, but he doesn’t kick him out. Which Theo counts as a plus. 

“I screwed up,” Bobby begins. “I'm owning it. I mean, I'm a superior being... I ought to act like one, right? So I really thought about each one of you, and I got you something that will make you happy. I call them ‘opposite tortures’.”

“Do you mean presents?” Theo asks. 

“Yes that’s better, thank you.” He grabs a box from behind him and holds it out to Danny. “Danny, here’s yours.”

Danny opens it and grins, “A laptop! Awesome!”

Bobby turns to Theo next. “Theo, I had Kira make you a never-ending pizza dispensary.”

Theo gasps and runs up to it. He pushes a button and mini slice of pizza pops out. He takes a bite and groans. “Oh my god. This is the dream.”

“It is?” Bobby asks.

“Yeah!”

Bobby nods and turns to Scott next. He holds out a balloon. “Scott, here you go.”

Scott gasps and takes the balloon. “Pikachu! Guys, it’s Pikachu! This is awesome!” He hugs the balloon tightly to his chest, and it pops. He looks down at it forlornly. “Aw man!”

“And finally, Liam. You were a tough nut to crack, but I think I figured it out.” There’s a soft ding and a book appears in his hands. “This is a replica of a lost notebook from the desk of Immanuel Kant. It contains never-before-seen thoughts and musings and several, uh... crude erotic doodles. Interesting guy, actually. The point is, no one on Earth has ever seen this... except for you.”

“Cool,” Liam says. He takes the notebook and tosses it aside. “This isn’t an apology. It’s a bribe and I’m not interested.”

Theo, with his mouth still full of pizza, says, “Yeah, we can’t be bought!”

“What do you want from me, man?” Bobby asks him. “You want me to give you a golden nameplate for your office? Do you want a laptop better than Danny’s?”

“No!” Liam exclaims. “Then this would all be worthless. I don’t want anything.”

Bobby’s silent for a moment, before a look of understanding appears on his face, and he nods. “Oh. Oh okay. Ah I get it. I get it. You want me to admit that I was wrong. You want me to say, ‘Oh, Liam, I'm so sorry because I didn't understand human ethics and you do. It made me feel insecure, and I lashed out. And, oh, please help me because I feel so... so lost and vulnerable.’”

“Yes,” Liam says simply.

“Oh, Liam, I am so sorry. I, um... I didn't understand human ethics, and you do. And it made me feel insecure, and I lashed out. And I really need your help because I feel... so lost and vulnerable.”

Liam looks at him for a moment, before nodding. He gestures to one of the remaining chairs. “Have a seat.”

Bobby sniffs and sits down in the recliner, “Thank you, Liam.”

Theo smiles to himself and takes a bite of pizza. He gags and spits it out. “Okay, nobody try mystery flavor. It’s white chocolate and it is nasty.”

Liam wrinkles his nose, “Who would want white chocolate pizza?”

“I don’t know, man,” Theo says. “Maniacs.”

Liam chuckles, “Just get in here. We have a lesson to begin.”

Theo does as he’s asked. He leaves the pizza and moves to the couch, taking his usual seat. He looks over to see Bobby with a notebook and a pen in hand, ready to learn. They all know it’s not going to be as easy as wanting to learn. There’s a lot of ingrained behaviors to work around. But Theo has hope they can do this. 

He’s been able to learn from Liam, after all. He was an incredibly selfish person when he was alive, and now he’s been changing for the better. He knows that’s mostly thanks to Liam. Sure, when this started he only wanted to be good so he could stay, but now it’s different. Now he just wants to be good to, well, be good. He knows that wouldn’t be possible without Liam. Because of that he knows if there’s anyone that can get through to Bobby, it’s Liam.


	9. Chapter 9

Theo’s not sure what to expect when he gets called into Bobby’s office the next morning and is told to come alone and not tell anyone. It’s more than a little suspicious, but of course he goes.

He walks into the office to see Bobby there, along with Kira. 

“Hey Kira,” Theo greets.

“Hi there!”

He looks at Bobby, “You wanted to see me?”

“We might have a slight problem,” Bobby says. 

“Not just a slight problem,” Kira says. “A major problem that puts everyone in danger.”

“What is it?” Theo asks.

“It’s me,” Kira says. “I’m glitching.”

“Glitching? How? And why?”

“Apparently I have retained my second incantations love for Scott,” Kira says.

Theo blinks, “Oh. Okay.”

“That wouldn’t be enough to cause the glitching,” Bobby says. “But there’s more.”

“Scott and Danny have been in a relationship,” Kira says. “And they came to me for advice. So I’ve been their therapist. I started glitching due to my subconscious lies about being happy for them.”

“Right,” Theo says. “So why am I here?”

“We need your advice,” Bobby says. “You’ve been in relationships. Surely, you know what to do.”

“I mean, I’ve had flings, sure, but nothing serious,” Theo says.

“You must know something I can do,” Kira says.

“I mean, when I went through break ups I always just hooked up with someone else to feel better,” Theo says. “So maybe what you need is a rebound relationship.”

“A rebound relationship,” Kira says slowly. “But I’m the only one of my kind, except Bad Kira, but I can’t have a relationship with her.”

“No, that might be weird,” Theo agrees.

“But I think I might have an idea,” Kira says. “I just have to create my rebound relationship.”

“Can you do that?” Theo asks.

“I’m not sure,” Kira admits. “It’s never been done before. But I have to try.”

Theo’s not sure what he expects to happen. Maybe for Kira to go off somewhere and find someone. It’s certainly not for a woman to suddenly appear in the office. 

“Hi there!” she says, beaming at all of them. “I’m Allison.”

“Hi Allison,” Theo says, waving. “I’m Theo.”

“Kira,” Bobby says slowly. “What have you done?”

“I made myself a girlfriend,” Kira grins. “A rebound, just like Theo said!”

Theo nods, looking at Allison. She’s bouncing on her feet and looking around the room with a smile. “She’s cute.”

“I know,” Kira says. “She’s great!”

“Kira, you can’t just create a girlfriend for yourself,” Bobby says.

“Why not?”

“There have to be rules,” Bobby says. He looks at Theo. “Right?”

Theo shrugs, “Why are you asking me? You’re the immortal being, remember?”

“I just don’t think this a good idea,” Bobby says.

“Well, I don’t care what you think,” Kira says.

“He doesn’t seem very nice,” Allison says.

Theo grins, “You have no idea.”

“We’ll be in my void,” Kira says. She grabs Allison’s hand and glares at Bobby. “And don’t bother calling!”

She and Allison both pop out of existence, and Theo turns to Bobby. “Her void?”

“Yes, that’s where Kira goes when she’s not here,” Bobby says, waving his hand dismissively. “This is going to be a disaster.”

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “She seemed happy.”

“Yes, but there are bound to be consequences for just creating someone out of nothing,” Bobby says. “This whole thing could expose me!”

“Relax,” Theo says. “I don’t see what could possibly go wrong here.”

Outside, there’s a loud crash. Theo and Bobby get to their feet and move to the window. Theo tilts his head, looking at the giant alligators falling from the sky. “What the fork?”

“What the fork indeed,” Bobby mutters. “You were saying?”

“Okay, I was not expecting _that_ ,” Theo says. “Why alligators?”

“I don’t know,” Bobby says. “Scott was from Florida. Maybe it has to do with him.”

“Huh.” Theo squints out at them. “You don’t think they’re real, live alligators do you?”

At that moment Theo sees an alligator running across the grass after Liam. It clamps its jaws, barely missing him as Liam shuts the door behind him. “Mother forking shirt balls that was close.”

Bobby laughs, “Okay but it was pretty funny seeing Liam scream and run from the alligator.”

“It could have killed him!”

Bobby waves his hand, “He’s already dead. He just would have lost a leg or something. But it would have grown back.”

Theo wrinkles his nose, “Our limbs can grow back? Like we’re lizards?”

“Essentially,” Bobby says. “You should have seen what happened in reboot number 50. Scott lost his head. Literally.”

“I’m kind of glad I don’t remember that one,” Theo says.

The door behind them bangs open and Theo turns to see Liam standing there. He’s standing with his arms on his legs, panting. “What the fork is going on out there?”

“Oh you know, it’s just raining alligators,” Theo says. “The usual.”

“That is not normal!” Liam shouts. “One of them almost bit me!”

“And it was awesome!” Bobby chuckles. When Theo elbows him in the stomach, his face turns serious. “But we’re glad you’re okay.”

Liam rolls his eyes and takes the seat Theo vacated, “Yeah thanks. So what caused this?”

“Well, you see, Kira kind of made herself a new girlfriend,” Theo says. “Her name is Allison, and she’s super cute.”

“Why would Kira making herself a girlfriend cause it to rain alligators?” Liam asks.

“Because of Scott,” Theo says. “She’s in love with him, and Scott and Danny are forking. And Kira’s been lying and saying she’s happy for them and she’s not. So she started glitching.”

“And so Mr. Genius here decided to tell Kira she should rebound,” Bobby says. “Hence the creation of Allison.”

“Right,” Liam says. “So how do we fix this?”

“I don’t know,” Bobby says, sounding a bit hysterical. He tugs on his hair, leaving it in disarray as he paces the room. “I don’t know, but we need to before Brett notices and figures out something is up.”

“Do you really think he hasn’t noticed yet?” Theo asks.

“We can only hope,” Bobby mutters.

Kira suddenly pops into the room again, alone this time. “Hi, I want to die.”

“What happened?” Theo asks.

“Scott and Danny asked me if I would marry them,” Kira says. “And I said yes. Because it is my job to make the humans here happy.”

“Kira you don’t have to,” Theo says.

“I do though,” Kira says. “And I’m fine. Completely fine.”

She starts wailing and Theo winces. He reaches out and pats her shoulder. “There there. It’ll be okay.”

He looks to Liam and Bobby who both shrug. Some help they are. Theo’s never been the best at comforting people. In fact, whenever someone started crying when he was alive he’d slip away as quickly as possible. Emotions were never his strong suit.

But he’s trying to be better. More in touch with his emotions. That doesn’t mean he has any idea how to comfort someone when they’re crying like this. 

Kira squares her shoulders and the wailing stops. She smiles. “I’m all better now. Thanks.”

“Of course,” Theo says. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, thank you Theo. I should go prepare for the wedding.”

“Wait Kira….”

But she’s already gone. “You know this isn’t going to end well,” Theo says.

“Nope,” Bobby says.

“So how do we fix it?”

“I think the most ethical thing to do here would be to tell Danny and Scott about Kira’s issue,” Liam says. “And hopefully they’ll see the right thing to do would be to not ask Kira to do this.”

“And then Kira can stop glitching,” Theo says.

“Hopefully,” Bobby says. “And she can get rid of Allison.”

“How do you just get rid of a person?” Liam asks.

“Well, Allison isn’t really a person,” Bobby says. “So she’ll just go back to not existing like before.”

“Right,” Theo says. “So who is going to talk to Scott and Danny?” Bobby and Liam look at him. Theo sighs. “Right. Me. Of course. Why is it me?”

“Because you have no problem being blunt,” Bobby says. “And they’d probably take it better coming from you, a friend, than me.”

“That’s fair,” Theo says. 

He finds Danny, Scott, and Kira down by the beach. They look to be mid-ceremony, and Theo can tell by the thunder rumbling above them that things aren’t going well on the Kira front.

“Wait!” Theo calls, running up to them. “Stop!”

“What are you doing?” Danny asks.

“You guys can’t get married,” Theo says. 

“Why not?” Scott asks.

“Yes, why not?” Danny questions. “We… tolerate each other well enough.”

“Because of Kira,” Theo says.

Danny frowns, “Kira? What about Kira?”

“In one of the first reboots, Kira and Scott were in love and got married,” Theo says. 

Scott blinks, “We were?”

“That’s preposterous,” Danny says. “Kira doesn’t love Scott.”

“Part of her still does,” Theo says. “So she’s been glitching hard lately. Like every time she says she’s happy for you, she might think she means it, but there’s part of her that doesn’t. Because part of her still loves Scott. Which is making her glitch, and putting us all at risk here.”

“How exactly?”

“Because if she keeps glitching, eventually Brett will find out, and we’ll all be discovered,” Theo says. “And then rather than being here, we’ll be separated and sent off to an eternity of torture. Which is what we’ve been trying to avoid, right?”

Scott and Danny share a look, “I suppose so.” Danny looks behind him to where Kira is standing talking to Bobby and Liam. Allison is there too. “Who’s that?”

“Allison,” Theo says. “Kira created her when I said she should rebound. Which is just causing a whole new mess of things.”

“So we’re not getting married?” Scott asks.

“No,” Danny says. “We’re not getting married. Probably for the best anyway. It was all purely physical.”

Theo leaves them and walks over to where Liam, Bobby, Kira and Allison are. “So they’re not getting married. Crisis averted.”

“They’re not?” Kira asks.

“Nope,” Theo says. “They had a change of heart.”

Liam smiles at him, “I knew you’d convince them to do the right thing.”

Theo shrugs, “I just gave them the facts. They got there on their own.”

“I’m sure you were pretty persuasive though,” Bobby says.

“And probably did it without threats of torture like someone would have thrown in,” Liam says.

“Torture can be fun,” Bobby says.

“Yeah, to you,” Liam says. “But you never seem to be happy about the prospect of it for yourself.”

“Fair point,” Bobby says.

“I know you’re going to have a lot of complicated feelings to work through,” Theo says to Kira. “So if you need any help, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Theo,” Kira says. “I appreciate that.”

“So,” Bobby says. “What are you going to do about her?”

He nods his head to where Allison is currently chasing butterflies. “I suppose I have to deactivate her,” Kira says. “For the sake of the community.”

“I’m sorry,” Theo says. “I know you must have grown attached.”

“Not at all,” Kira says. “She’s nice, but I barely know her.”

She waves and walks over to Allison. Allison grins when she sees her. Kira puts a hand on her arm and the two disappear.

“Well, this has been an interesting day,” Bobby says.

“It certainly has,” Theo agrees.

“I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment, Theo,” Bobby says. 

“Of course.”

“I’ll walk you home.”

Theo turns to Liam, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Liam nods, “Sure. Or umm… I forgot one of my books at your place so maybe I can come by tonight and get it.”

Theo smiles, “Sure. I can get pizza?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Theo and Bobby walk back down the path leading into town. Bobby is silent for most of the walk. “What’s on your mind?” Theo asks him.

“You and Liam always seem to be close,” Bobby says. “No matter how much I try to separate you two. You always find each other. Do you suppose that means something?”

“Maybe,” Theo says. “Or maybe it’s because we’re one of the four humans here.”

“Possibly,” Bobby says. “But you’re never drawn to Danny or Scott like you are Liam.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Bobby shrugs, “I don’t know. I suppose you’ll figure it out.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” Theo asks. He stops outside his door and turns to Bobby.

“No,” Bobby says. “I wanted to talk to you about ethics.”

Theo raises an eyebrow, “Really? I didn’t think you liked ethics.”

“I didn’t,” Bobby says. “But I felt something today, while helping Kira. I know we were doing it to keep Brett off our trail, but at the same time, it felt nice? Like we were doing it for her as well.”

“We were,” Theo says. “You know, striving to do the right thing is emotionally rewarding. And you reaching out to me is pretty human.”

“Is it?”

“It is,” Theo says. 

Bobby smiles, “You know, in the past that might have disgusted me. But that actually makes me pretty happy.”

“I’m glad.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Bobby says. “I know you have a hot date tonight.”

“It’s not a date,” Theo says. “And it’s certainly not hot.”

Bobby chuckles, “Whatever you say, Theo.”

He waves and walks back down the path, leaving Theo frowning after him. He walks into the house and closes the door. This isn’t a date. This is just two friends hanging out. Nothing more.

“Kira?”

Kira pops into view, “Yes, Theo?”

“Could you bring me a couple pizzas please?” 

“Sure!” 

Two pizzas appear in her arms and she holds them out. “Just like you like.”

“Thank you,” he says, taking them from her.

“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “And thank you for your help earlier.”

“Of course,” Theo says. “That’s what friends are for.”

“Yes, friends,” Kira says “It’s nice having friends.”

“It is,” Theo agrees. “Especially friends to eat pizza with, like Liam.”

“But you and Liam aren’t friends,” Kira says. She tilts her head. “Are you?”

“Of course we are,” Theo says. “Why would you think we’re not?”

“Because according to all my various resources, friends don’t look at each other the way you two do,” Kira says.

Theo scoffs and turns away, focusing on putting the pizzas on the table so he doesn’t have to look at Kira. “We don’t look at each other any sort of way.”

_ And Liam definitely isn’t looking at me like that _ , Theo thinks.

“I thought you were,” Kira says. “But I suppose I could be wrong this one time.”

“Maybe,” Theo says. “Anyway, thanks for the pizza, Kira.”

“I can see that for the obvious dismissal that it is,” Kira says. “So enjoy your food.”

When Theo turns around, she’s gone. He runs a hand down his face and sighs. What is with everyone interrogating him about Liam today? It’s not as if they were acting any different than any other day. Were they?

A knock sounds on his door and he doesn’t have to answer it to know it’s Liam. “Come in!”

The door opens and Liam walks in. He raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure it’s safe to just call people in?”

“Why not?” Theo asks. “It’s not as if we have any serial killers lurking in the neighborhood.”

“No, but we do have demons who take great pleasure in torturing us,” Liam points out.

“True,” Theo laughs. “But I don’t think they’d knock.”

“Yeah probably not.” Liam looks to the table and smiles. “Pizza?”

“Yep,” Theo says. “Extra pepperoni.”

“Awesome!” Liam sits on the couch and opens the box. He doesn’t even wait for Theo to get plates before he grabs a slice and bites into it. “My favorite.”

Theo takes a seat next to him and grabs his own slice, “I know.”

Liam looks over at him and smiles, “You really do know me well.”

Theo reaches over and pushes Liam’s glasses up where they’ve fallen down. His hand lingers for a moment and their eyes meet. His breath catches, and he finds it hard to look away. “I love knowing what makes you happy.”

“You make me happy,” Liam whispers. 

“You make me happy too,” Theo says softly. He leans in and Liam’s eyes widen. Suddenly there’s a flop and something warm lands on his leg. He looks down to see Liam’s pizza on his leg.

Liam jumps up, “Oh fork. Umm… I’ll just go get a towel or something.”

He runs out of the room before Theo can say anything. Theo sits there, looking down at that pizza, confused. He drops his own piece back into the box, and puts Liam’s on the lid. Liam returns with a wet towel and starts patting at Theo’s leg, before Theo covers his hand with his own. “Liam.”

Liam’s head snaps up. Their eyes meet briefly before Liam looks away. Theo sighs and takes the towel from Liam. “I got this. You just eat your pizza.”

“Right,” Liam says. He looks down at his discarded pizza and frowns. 

“I obviously meant a new piece, Liam,” Theo says. “We have plenty.”

“Of course,” Liam says. He reaches for a new slice and then just stares at it.

Theo sighs and leans back on the couch, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Liam frowns, “What?”

“I mean…” he waves his hand between them. “I clearly did, and now you’re acting weird.”

“I’m not acting weird,” Liam says defensively.

“You are though,” Theo says. “You keep staring at your pizza and you won’t even eat it and I just…”

His words die in his throat when Liam leans in and kisses him. It’s just a quick press of lips, before Liam is once again shooting to his feet. He drops his pizza on the floor and covers his mouth with both hands. “I’m so sorry.”

Theo stands up, “Liam, you don’t have to be sorry.”

“I do!” Liam says. “I just attacked you!”

“Liam, you didn't attack me.”

“I did!” Liam says. “I forced my face on your face!”

“I believe that’s called kissing,” Theo says.

“Well, I’ve never done it before! At least not that I remember,” Liam says, his voice rising in obvious distress. “And then I just forced myself on you!”

“You didn’t though,” Theo says softly. He holds up his hands and walks closer, not wanting to spook Liam. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want.”

“Well, maybe I didn’t want it,” Liam mutters.

Theo stops in his tracks and lowers his hands. His heart thuds heavily in his chest. He’s not sure what to say to that. He swallows and looks away.

“I’m sorry, Theo,” Liam says softly. “I’m just pretty confused right now.”

“Yeah, me too,” Theo says. “I’m sorry if I’ve made things more confusing for you.”

“No, hey.” Theo turns his head when Liam grabs his hand. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about, okay? This is just me getting in my own head as usual. I just… I need some time to think.”

Theo nods and does his best to smile as he squeezes Liam’s hand, “Of course. We’ve got plenty of it.”

Liam chuckles, “Are you sure about that? It seems like everything has been falling apart today.”

“I’m trying to be hopeful here,” Theo says. “It’s a new thing I’m working on.”

“I like it,” Liam says.

“So,” Theo says slowly. “Do you want to try this pizza thing again? Maybe watch a movie? No weirdness, just friends.”

Liam smiles, “Yeah, I can do that.”

They sit down on the couch, a little closer than before, but neither moves. They eat their pizza and watch old reruns of Family Feud. Every so often their eyes meet and they smile before looking away. Theo had half expected it to be uncomfortable after their sudden kiss earlier, but it’s not. 

That night though, Theo finds himself dreaming of Liam. He dreams of soft lips on his and blue eyes looking down at him and Liam whispering his name. It feels real and familiar and Theo wakes up with a longing deep in his chest. 

* * *

He busies himself in the morning reading through some of the chapters Liam had mentioned wanting to go over this week. A knock sounds on his door before it opens and Liam steps in. Theo raises an eyebrow. “Do come in.”

“You were going to tell me to come in anyway,” Liam says. “Figured I’d save us both the trouble. Besides, if you really didn’t want me coming in you could have locked the door.”

Theo puts down his papers and walks over to where Liam is still waiting by the door. “Well, that’s never going to happen. I always want you here.”

Liam smiles and ducks his head, “We should get going so Bobby can brief us on how we’re being tortured today.”

“Our lives are weird,” Theo says. He opens the door and lets Liam walk out first, before falling into step with him. “Did you ever think you would end up like this?”

“In the Bad Place trying to teach an immortal being ethics while pretending to be tortured by demons?” Liam asks. “No, I definitely did not see my life ending up this way.”

Theo laughs, “Yeah me either. I mean, I was sure I wasn’t going to wind up anywhere good, but even I couldn’t have imagined this.”

“I would worry about your sanity if you had,” Liam says.

They meet up with Danny and Scott on the way to Bobby’s office, and the four of them try to guess what their day has in store. No doubt Brett doing something stupid and obnoxious and trying to get them to crack. It’s the way it usually goes. Especially for Liam. Brett seems to take great joy in torturing Liam.

They reach Bobby’s office and Theo knocks. A moment later Bobby calls them in. He’s not alone in his office as they were expecting. Peter is with him. Theo does his best to keep the smile on his face and not give away he knows exactly who Peter is. Even if internally he is wondering what the fork he’s doing here.

“I’m glad you’re all here,” Bobby says. “I’d like to start by saying something I’ve wanted to say for a long time.” He pauses, most likely trying to be dramatic. “Surprise idiots! You’re in the Bad Place!”

Both Bobby and Peter laugh, high fiving each other. Theo does his best to look surprised, as do the others.

“That’s right, nerds,” Bobby says. “Everything around you, all you can see, is an elaborate system of torture designed just for you.”

“Sorry, we’re in the Bad Place?” Theo asks.

“Why are you revealing this now?” Liam questions.

“Well, it was an experiment and it worked,” Bobby says. “So my boss is promoting me. Oh sorry, I should have introduced you. This is my boss, Peter.”

“Hello imbeciles,” Peter says. “We need to study everything that happened here. There was a first version that collapsed, but the second has been a huge success. We'll be shutting this place down. The four of you will be brought to the real Bad Pace, where your brains will be removed, studied, and batted around a stadium like beach balls. Your arms will be peeled like bananas. That part's just for fun...”

“Right,” Liam says, looking between Bobby and Peter.

Peter laughs, “And then you will be, you know, tortured forever.”

Theo looks to Bobby, who won’t meet his gaze. “Bobby, is this all true?”

“Yes, Theo, it is,” Bobby says. “You're such a dummy, thinking you could become a better person. You got Liam to teach you stupid philosophy...” He chuckles to himself. “Like those old farts were gonna provide guidance. ‘Oh, Kierkegaard is so great. Have you read 'Fear and Trembling'?’ Well, I don't know, have you read ‘Boring and Stupid’? Because that's what you are. You could never be a good person.”

Theo frowns, trying not to let the words get to him. “That’s not true.”

“Oh but it is,” Bobby says. “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced, after all.”

“How long will it take for the neighborhood to be shut down?” Danny asks.

“Better part of a day, I’d guess,” Bobby says. “In the meantime, why don't we have a farewell party here tonight? You know, just to thank the crew for all the hard work. We could jam some tunes, destroy the place. What do you say boss?”

“Sure,” Peter shrugs. “Why not? And by the way, I know what you’re probably thinking. Maybe Kira can help. You’re wrong though. Kira?”

Kira appears suddenly, looking a little drunk and out of it. Which doesn’t make sense. Kira can’t get drunk. She gasps and grins over at them. “Oh, hi you little cuties. I love you guys so much. Except for you Scott. Because I hate you.” She giggles. “I hate you.”

Liam frowns, “Kira, what’s wrong?”

“We put a restraining bracelet on her,” Peter says. “Disrupting her powers.”

Kira giggles again. “It’s made of mag-a-nets. Mag-a-nets. Mag-a-ne-its.” She chuckles. “Magnets are supposed to make me feel drunk, but guess what? I feel fine.” 

“Can we go?” Theo asks.

Bobby waves his hand dismissively, “I suppose. It’s not as if you can actually go anywhere. Enjoy your last few hours knowing you’re about to be put into an endless cycle of torture.”

Bobby and Peter laugh together, and Theo frowns. He grabs Liam’s arm and drags him towards the door, Danny, Scott, and Kira following behind them. None of them speak on their way out. Not until they reach Theo’s place and the door is closed and locked behind them.

“I can't believe Bobby betrayed us again,” Danny mutters. “Why is it always the ones you most expect? We should've seen this coming. No one can ever truly turn over a new leaf. Sure, Ben Affleck told me he'd matured as an artist after he directed ‘Argo,’ but then, right on schedule, it was, ‘Guess what, Danny, I'm gonna be Batman.’”

“There's only one option,” Liam says. “Peter clearly doesn't know that Bobby has rebooted this neighborhood hundreds of times. I say we trade that information for some kind of reduced sentence.”

“Liam, they’re monsters,” Danny says. “Who's to say they won't agree to a deal, hear what we have to say, and turn around and install us into their horrible human zoo?” 

“There's no other option,” Liam says. “There's no way for a human to get that bracelet off of Kira. But if there were, we could get her to call us a train to Jackson Whittemore’s house. We know for a fact that the people from the Bad Place can't follow us there, and I vote for that.”

“I vote we...” Scott begins, only for Liam to cut him off.

“No, sorry, and no offense, Scott, but the stakes here are too high to let someone with your limited intellectual processing capacity weigh in.”

“I was gonna agree with you.”

“Oh, great, well, that's two votes for my plan,” Liam says. He turns to Theo, who’s been silently listening the whole time. “What do you think Theo? Trade information on Bobby or try to escape to the Medium Place?”

Theo purses his lips. Any other time he’d go with running off to the Medium Place. He knows that’s what they’ve done multiple times in the past. But this feels different. 

“Neither,” Theo says. “I vote we ignore everything Bobby just said and blindly assume he's still on our side. Who's with me?”

“Sorry, but when all this started, you're the one who told us that Bobby wasn't trustworthy. Now you want us to trust him?” Danny asks

“Yes, for one very specific and rock-solid reason: What's-his-name.”

“Who?” Liam asks

“The dude, the super depressing religious guy,” Theo says, waving his hands around as if that will help him remember. “The... the real buzzkill whose name I can never remember. Keebler’s... car. Kyra. Sedgwick?” 

“Oh, I love her,” Danny says. “Dear friend of mine.” When everyone just stares at him, he shrugs. “Not important right now.”

“Kierkegaard?” Liam guesses

“Yes! Kierkegaard,” Theo says. “When Bobby was mocking us about trying to become better people, whose name did he use, huh? Kierkegaard. I think he was sending us a message to take a leap of faith, 'cause that was Kierkegaard's thing, right?

“Yes, although it's probably better translated as a leap into faith,” Liam says.

“It's so hard to be your friend,” Theo sighs.

“Yep, sorry.”

“Bobby was telling us to trust him,” Theo says. “I had a talk with him about ethics the other night after the Allison incident. Dude was shook, spiraling about ethics and human stuff. I think he’s on our side.”

“Or maybe he's a supernatural demon designed to torture people, who just got offered his dream job, and has flipped on us like a ten-stone griddle chip,” Danny says. Silence. He sighs. “It's a large pancake.”

“Come on, people, you can get these from context. Look,” Theo says, “maybe Bobby jumped back to the dark side, but I don't think so. I think he's gonna help us escape. I know it sounds crazy, but if it weren't crazy, they wouldn't call it a leap of faith. They would call it a... sit of doubting.”

“I never thought I'd be the one to say it, but this is getting out of hand,” Scott says. “I think we gotta go to the cops.”

“What cops?” Theo asks, looking at Scott like he’s lost his last marble. He probably has. “Where do you think we are?”

“There have to be cops here,” Scott says. “Right? How else would they keep things in order?”

“They use demons to torture people,” Liam says. “Like they’ve been doing to us for a long time now.”

“Oh.”

“So what are we going to do?” Theo asks. He knows what he wants to do. He just hopes the others will back him up.

Liam sighs, “I trust you, Theo. You know that.”

“I do,” Theo says. “And I appreciate that.”

“So if you think Bobby is on our side, then I’m with you.”

“Really?”

Liam nods, “Yeah.”

“I hope you’re right,” Danny says. “Because if not then we’re about to blow our only chance of getting out of here on some leap of faith as you keep calling it.”

“It’s going to work out,” Theo says. “Look, I’ve never been one for hope and all that bullshirt, but I am now. And well, I guess that’s thanks to Liam.”

“Great, if we wind up getting sent to an eternity of torture tonight, at least I’ll know it’s on me,” Liam says.

“It’s on us,” Theo says. “We’re all in this together, or not at all.”

“All for one and one for all,” Liam grins.

“I’m not sure how I feel about High School Musical and the Musketeers being quoted together like that,” Danny says.

“Who are the Musketeers?” Scott asks.

“We are,” Liam says. 

“And we’re going to be okay,” Theo says.

He has to believe that, otherwise they’re all going to be screwed. 

* * *

They all get summoned to the party that night. It’s on the lawn. Which is fitting, Theo supposes. It’s where they were all gathered when they first arrived. The four of them sit in the front row together as Bobby takes the stage. 

“Hello, you dummies!” Bobby calls out, to the laughter of the demons present. “This neighborhood was a labor of hate for many people here, so I thought that we should celebrate with an art form that we literally invented here in the Bad Place: the comedy roast!” This is met with cheers and applause. Bobby’s gaze focuses on Scott. “I see Scott McCall’s here. Scott might not be the smartest guy in the world, but he is the dumbest guy in the world.” Bobby laughs and shakes his head. “Oh, Scott, buddy, all you had to do was to keep quiet, but you couldn't stop talking about Kendall Jenner or that dumb lacrosse player... What was their name? Ally Bortles? Always ranting about Ally Bortles. Lucky for you, my friend, lacrosse games are the only ones televised in the Bad Place, because they suck!” 

The demons laugh and Scott frowns. “No, they don't.”

“Don't take it personally. He just has to put on a show for the other demons,” Theo says.

“Now Danny Mahealani, elegance, grace, sophistication, but enough about your brother,” Bobby continues to more laughter. “You know what the worst moment of Danny's life was? When the last song played at one of his parties, and he would run off and cry because he still hadn't won his parents' approval. You know the other worst moment of Danny's life? Every other moment of his empty, pointless life!” He laughs and a drum beats from somewhere nearby. “Hey-oh!”

“I swear if you say he’s just doing this to put on a show I will kick you,” Danny mutters, and Theo winces.

He doesn’t get a chance to say anything before Bobby is speaking again, this time to Theo. 

“I see Theo Raeken is here. Theo and I have a lot in common. Now, here's how you can tell us apart: one of us is a manipulative demon who's an expert at making other people miserable, and then the other one... is me!” There’s more laughter and Theo rolls his eyes. He’s going to have to do worse than that if he wants to get under Theo’s skin. “You thought you deserved a Medium Place like Jackson Whittemore? Are you kidding me? You're bad, Theo. This is exactly the place you should be.” 

“Not super funny for a roast there, bud,” Theo calls up to him.

“Oh, sorry, you want a joke? Okay, you love Liam, and Liam doesn't love you back. Boom! Now that’s funny because it’s very cruel and humiliating.”

Theo’s heart clenches in his chest and he glares up at Bobby. What an ashhole. 

“I consider you one of my closest friends,” Liam leans in closer and says quietly.

Theo shakes his head, “Not now, dude.”

Luckily Theo doesn’t have time to stew in his anger at Bobby’s words, because Bobby moves on to Liam. 

"’Speaking of Liam’ is something no one has ever said, because no one talks about Liam, because no one likes Liam, because he's so annoying about ethics. Now, when you taught the Trolley Problem, did you secretly wish that it could be you who wound up under the trolley? Because all your students did! Whoo! Oh, Liam, sorry, I got a joke for you, bud. Uh, knock knock.”

He pauses and looks expectantly at Liam, who rolls his eyes skyward before speaking. “Who's there?”

“You died alone, because you couldn't commit to anyone,” Bobby says, to more laughter from the demons. He waits, and when Liam doesn’t respond, he snorts. “No? Fine. You died alone because you couldn't commit to anyone who?”

“No,” Liam says.

Bobby laughs, “Liam Dumbar!” Both Theo and Liam roll their eyes at the play on Liam’s last name. Bobby isn’t deterred one bit. “Okay, that's all my time. Let's tear this mother to the ground!”

He saunters off the stage and cheers erupt. The demons start running around the neighborhood, trashing the place. Theo stands and the others join him. “Let’s get the fork out of here.”

“Where?” Liam asks.

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “Just away from these animals.”

He leads them to the park, far enough away from the demons that they won’t be seen, but still close enough to keep an eye on things.

“So,” Danny says, falling back onto one of the benches. “Did that go as you expected, Theo?”

“Not exactly,” Theo says. “I guess I may have been wrong.”

“May have been?” Danny says. “That was the meanest roast I’ve ever seen, and trust me I’ve seen my fair share of roasts.”

“So what do we do now?” Liam asks.

Theo frowns and looks around them. There has to be something. Even after Bobby’s roast he still has his doubts about him betraying them. Unless…”

“What are you thinking?” Liam asks him.

“I’m thinking that there were clues in the roast,” Theo says. “First, Bobby kept getting that dumb lacrosse player Scott’s obsessed with wrong. Blake something. He kept saying _Ally_. Which means, he wanted us to get Allison to drive the train. Now Danny, what clue did he leave with Danny?”

“Well, he said my entire life was pointless and empty,” Danny says.

“Yeah, but did he say anything we don't already know?” Theo asks. “Anything that stood out?”

“He said that I would run off and cry when the last song would play at my parties,” Danny says. “Which doesn’t make sense. A host never runs off during their last song, because after it's over, you're supposed to act surprised when everyone drags you on stage and showers you with applause.”

“Right,” Theo says. “Maybe Bobby wanted us to wait until the end of the party when everyone was distracted, and use Allison to drive the train out of here because she has some of Kira’s powers.”

“So we need Kira,” Liam says.

“Yes.”

“Kira?” 

Kira pops into existence and looks around them. “Oh hi. Hello.”

“Kira…”

“Yes?”

“Can you bring Allison back from your void?”

“Okay. Shoot, where's my void again? I forget. Oh, yeah, it's everywhere. Okay, hang on to your butt cheeks.” There’s the sound of clanging as she looks around in her void, searching for Allison. “Where is she? I think… No. Hold on. Yes! Got her!”

“Why do we need Allison?” Liam asks.

“To drive the train to Jackson Whittemore’s,” Theo says.

“So we’re leaving?” Danny asks.

“Yes,” Theo says. “No, wait.”

“What was it he said to me?” Theo says. “What clue?” He thinks about it and then snaps his fingers. “He made a comment about me not deserving the Medium Place because I’m bad, and that this is exactly the place I should be. Bobby wants us to stay here for some reason.”

“Theo, we have a train, a conductor, a way out of here, and you want us to stay?” Danny asks, clearly skeptical. Theo can’t blame him.

“Yes. Guys, leap of faith. Bobby said we shouldn't get on that train.”

“Any minute now, those demons are gonna come looking for us. Where are we supposed to hide?” Liam asks.

Theo grins, “The Trolley Problem.”

“I’m sorry,” Liam says. “What?”

“He asked you if when you taught the Trolley Problem if you secretly wished you wound up under the trolley because your students did,” Theo says.

“I remember,” Liam mutters.

“Yes,” Theo says. “And that’s our solution.”

“What?”

“We don’t have time to discuss this,” Theo says. “We need to get to the train station. And split up so no one spots us.”

“Theo…”

“Just trust me,” Theo says. “Okay?”

Liam nods, “Okay.”

They run off in separate directions before meeting up at the train station. The party is starting to wind down and they send Allison off on her own solo mission to Jackson’s. They hide out in the bushes as another train from the Bad Place arrives, and then sneak out, hiding underneath it on the tracks.

“This feels like a very bad idea,” Liam mutters.

“Yea, well, it’s the only one we have,” Theo says.

“And what if we just get stuck here while the neighborhood is destroyed?” Danny asks.

“Then it was better than being tortured for an eternity, and it was nice knowing you guys,” Theo says.

The demons soon flock to the train station and Theo shushes the others. They hold their breath as Peter stands out there with Bad Kira and has her scan the neighborhood for them. She comes up with nothing.

“They must have gotten away,” Peter mutters. “But we’ll catch up to them eventually.”

“And then we can torture them until their brains pour out,” Bad Kira says.

“Yes,” Peter chuckles. “Yes we can.”

They board the train, and Theo finds himself reaching for Liam’s hand as it starts to roll away. Then it’s gone, and they’re left alone on the tracks. They all jump up and climb back on the platform.

“Can we never do that again?” Liam asks.

“That was horrifying,” Danny says.

“You guys!” 

They turn at the sound of Bobby’s voice to see him running towards them. He stops and pulls them into a group hug. “I was so scared for you.”

“I told you he was on our side,” Theo says.

“Of course I am,” Bobby says. “You're my friends, and I want...I wanted to save you.”

“Hey, it’s okay bud,” Theo says, patting his arm. “We’re okay.”

“Oh Bobby, we never doubted you for a moment,” Danny says.

“Thank you, Danny,” Bobby says. “You're lying, though, right?”

“Yes, I am,” Danny tells him. “I doubted you very strongly.”

“But then I figured it out,” Theo says. “Kierkegaard, baby! Leap of faith.”

“It's better translated as a leap into faith,” Bobby says.

Liam grins proudly, “You remembered!”

Bobby nods, “I did. I guess you did get through to me after all.”

“Can somebody please explain what happened, and... and can you guys just be a tiny bit quieter?” Kira asks. “Because, um, I've been drunk on magnets all day, and... and I can literally hear every sound in the universe.”

“Basically Bobby sent us a code and we had to crack it,” Theo says. “We got all four clues you left us.” 

“Oh, that's great. Well, I mean, I actually left you more than four clues, because of how primitive your brains are, but I'm so glad you got enough to figure it out.”

“Wait, how did you escape detection, though?” Theo asks him.

“Well, I'm not ethically proud of this, but I framed Brett,” Bobby says. “It was pretty easy. I just kept whispering things into Kira's ear to make him paranoid. 

“I'm sorry, what did you whisper to me? I don't remember,” Kira says.

“Something, something Brett, something, something,” Bobby says. “So basically nothing, but it was enough to get him to try and take Kira’s bracelets off. Which framed him for the escape.”

“Oh,” Theo says. “Cool.”

“Guys, I want to apologize for roasting you earlier,” Bobby says, sounding sincere. “I had to sell it, because everyone was watching. It was funny, though, right?”

Liam shakes his head, “Absolutely not.”

“Danny's stuff was perfect... I mean, no.”

“Guys, let's just take a moment here,” Theo says. “They're gone, which means that we won and might actually get a chance to go to the real Good Place. This is everything we ever wanted.”

“It really is,” Liam says. “So what do we do now?”

“We need to figure out a way to get to the Good Place,” Bobby says.

“Any ideas?” Theo asks.

“A few,” Bobby says. “I have one we can try in the morning.”

“The morning?” Liam questions. “What are we supposed to do until then?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Bobby says. “Take the night and relax. You deserve it.”

“Can we really relax knowing this place could be destroyed at any moment?” Danny asks.

“We have until at least tomorrow afternoon,” Bobby says. “So yes, you four take the night and I’ll try and figure out the best way to get into the Good Place.”


	10. Chapter 10

It turns out Bobby’s idea of the best way to get into the Good Place is a hot air balloon. Not just any hot air balloon, but one that challenges them to prove they are the best versions of themselves. It’s not an easy task. Theo manages to make it on, along with Scott, but Danny and Liam struggle. 

“This is hopeless,” Liam mutters.

Theo steps off the balloon and goes to Liam. He puts his hands on his shoulders and meets his eyes. “It’s not impossible. You just have to believe in yourself, Liam. Because I do. I know you’re an amazing and caring person. You’re the best of all of us. I wish I had half your heart and goodness.”

Liam smiles and squeezes his hand, “Thanks Theo.”

Theo nods and steps back. “Now go on. Get on the balloon.”

He stands back as Liam steps up to the balloon. Nothing happens for a moment, but then it gives the green light. Liam grins and steps on board. Theo goes to follow him, only to stop when the light turns red for him.

“What the fork?”

“Ah,” Bobby says. “Well, that’s not good.”

“It was just green!” Theo says. “What’s wrong with it?”

“You talked down about yourself,” Bobby says. “You built Liam up, but in doing so you put yourself down.”

“Mother forking shirt balls,” Theo mutters.

“What are we going to do?” Liam asks.

“Well, I suppose if we have to we can go without him,” Danny says.

Liam glares at him, “We’re not leaving Theo here.” He goes to leave the balloon but Theo holds his hands up. 

“Wait! No! Stay there!”

Liam raises an eyebrow, “I’m not going without you.”

“You might have to,” Theo says. He smiles sadly. “It’s the Trolley Problem, remember?”

“Oh no, it’s not,” Bobby says.

“What?”

“This balloon doesn’t really go to the Good Place,” Bobby says.

Theo frowns, “What are you talking about? You said…”

“I know what I said,” Bobby says. “But I was stalling because I haven’t been able to figure out a way to enter the Good Place despite exploring over a billion options.”

“So what were you planning to do?” Theo asks. “Distract us until this place was destroyed and hope we wouldn’t notice?”

“Oh, I’m sure you would have noticed eventually,” Bobby says. “I just wanted you focused on something else while I tried to figure out a way to get us there.”

Liam, Danny, and Scott step down from the balloon, “So what are we supposed to do now?”

“Well, I suppose there’s only one thing we can do,” Danny says.

“And what’s that?” Liam asks.

“We throw a party,” Danny says.

“Seriously?” Theo asks. “We could cease to exist in hours and you want to throw a party?”

“Well, if we’re going to die, again, why not get wasted while we wait?”

“You know what?” Theo says. “I’m for that.”

He looks to Liam, who shrugs. “Why not? It could be our last night after all.”

“Let’s get crunk!” Scott yells. He starts running down the street, while the others follow at a more leisurely pace. 

“I am sorry I failed you all,” Bobby says as the group sits in Danny’s living room.

“You did your best,” Theo says. “You’ve made more of an effort to do the right thing than a typical person would.”

“You know what?” Liam says. “I propose a toast.” He holds up his glass and waits for the others to do the same. “To Bobby, our honorary human.”

“To Bobby,” the others echo.

Bobby sniffles and wipes at his eyes, “Oh, you guys. I know the old me would be repulsed by that, but I’m just so happy. I love you all.”

“We love you too, bro,” Scott says.

Theo smiles and settles further into the couch. He turns his head to see Liam looking at him. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Can I tell you something?” he asks Liam, who nods. “I’ve been fighting with this for a while. It scared the shirt out of me, but if this is our last night, I feel like you should know.”

“Theo…”

“No, let me speak please,” Theo says. “I have feelings for you, Liam. And not like you’re my best friend kind of feelings, but like you’re always on my mind and just thinking of you makes me smile and my stomach flips when you look at me.”

“I’ve never been good at making choices,” Liam admits. “I wish I could tell you that I return your feelings that easily. It’s not that I don’t, Theo. I’ve been struggling to process how I feel about you. Because all those things you described? I feel it too.”

Theo smiles. That’s good enough for him. “We have really horrible timing, huh?”

Liam laughs, “Yeah, I guess we do. I just wish we had met under normal circumstances.”

Theo shakes his head, “I don’t know. I don’t think you would have liked me much if you had.”

“I can’t imagine a reality where I don’t like you,” Liam says.

“You didn’t know me when I was alive,” Theo says. “I was a selfish, horrible person. I would not have deserved to have someone like you.”

Liam wraps an arm around Theo’s shoulders and pulls him in. He kisses the top of his head, letting his lips linger there. “But you do now.”

Theo closes his eyes against the sting of tears. He’s not going to cry. Not now. He buries his face in Liam’s shirt and breathes him in. This could be the last time he has him this close, and that just makes him want to hold on tighter. 

“You know what I think?” Danny says loudly, drawing their attention back to him.

“What’s that?” Bobby asks. 

“I think we should demand to speak to a manager.”

Theo snorts, “A manager?”

“Yes,” Danny says. “Whoever is in charge. There has to be someone that’s at the very top that can help us.”

Bobby is silent for a moment, “There is the Judge.”

“Peter?”

“No, someone higher than Peter,” Bobby says. “The Head Judge. She rarely hears cases though, and can only be reached from the Bad Place.”

“Well then, we have to try,” Theo says. 

“What?” Bobby says. “You want to go to the Bad Place?”

“We need to speak to this Judge,” Theo says. “It could be the only chance we have. We have to take it.”

Liam, Danny, and Scott all nod. “This is really what you want?” Bobby asks.

“It is,” Liam says. “We have to try.”

“Okay,” Bobby says. “Then we’ll go see the Judge.”

“So how do we get there?” Danny asks.

“They’re going to be sending a Bad Kira to get me,” Bobby says. “We’ll incapacitate her and have our Kira use the train to get us into the Bad Place. From there it will be a little trickier, but we can do it.”

The next morning, a train pulls into the station with only Bad Kira on board. She steps off and looks around with a sneer. “This place is gross.”

“Well, it won’t be here that much longer,” Bobby says. He waits until she’s turned away before sneaking up and incapacitating her. Only then does he nod for the others to join him. “Everyone on the train.”

“What are we going to do with her?” Theo asks.

“Leave her,” Danny says.

“We just leave her,” Scott says. “Won’t she die?”

“She was never alive,” Kira says. 

“Just leave her in the back of the train,” Theo says. “She’s tied up. She can’t hurt anyone.”

“Fine,” Bobby says. “Now let’s go.”

He throws Bad Kira over his shoulder and walks onto the train, the others following him. He puts her down at the back and then joins Kira at the front. Theo sits in the middle next to Liam, with Danny and Scott across from them. 

They start speeding off out of the station as the neighborhood starts disintegrating around them until there’s nothing left behind them.

“Well,” Theo says. “There’s no going back now.”

* * *

As the train gets closer to the Bad Place, Bobby tells them his plan. “Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m going to go and get special badges that will enable us to use the Judge’s portal.”

“What will we do?” Theo asks.

“Your job, while I’m doing that, is to hide,” Bobby tells them.

“That’s it?” Theo asks. “You don’t need us for backup in case you need to kick some demon butt?”

“No, there will be no fighting,” Bobby says. “The point is to go undetected. Can you manage that?”

“Of course,” Theo says. “Just call me Incognito Theo.” He makes a face. “Actually don’t call me that. Ever.”

“Gladly,” Danny says. “That is the worst code name I’ve ever heard, and I spent time with The Rock. You don’t want to know his code names.”

“Right,” Bobby says. “We’re almost there. When the train stops, I’ll sneak you in. You’ll hide with Kira, who will pose as a Bad Kira just to be safe, and then I’ll get the badges. Once I have them, I’ll find you and then we’ll sneak into the Judge’s portal. What we’ll actually say to convince her once we’re there, I’m not sure.”

“Wait, the person in the highest position of power here is a woman?” Theo asks. “Awesome.”

“Kira? Are you ready?”

They turn and Theo’s eyes widen when he sees Kira now in a completely leather outfit, complete with a blonde wig. “Ugh, I guess,” Kira says, examining her nails. “No, really. I guess. I’m not sure how to be rude to people.”

“You can do it,” Scott says. “I believe in you, girl.”

“Not a girl,” Kira says. “But thank you.”

The train pulls up to the platform, which is thankfully empty. Still, they sneak off, doing their best to remain hidden. “There’s a conference room no one ever uses just down the hall,” Bobby whispers. “Kira, take them there.”

Kira nods, “Got it.”

“I’ll see you all soon. Be careful.”

“You too,” Theo says.

Bobby walks off down the hall, and Kira leads them the opposite direction. She pushes open a door and they walk into a fully decorated room. “I thought this place wasn’t used,” Theo says.

“It’s not supposed to be,” Kira says.

“Then why does it look like someone is having a party?” Danny asks.

“Unsure,” Kira says. 

They hear voices in the hall and everyone ducks out of view. The door opens and demons filter into the room. Music starts up somewhere nearby. “Umm guys, I think this is a party,” Theo says quietly.

“What do we do?” Liam asks.

“Well, we can’t stay here,” Theo says. “If someone spots us, then we’ll definitely look suspicious.”

“So what’s the plan?” Danny asks him.

“We blend in.”

“What?”

“We impersonate demons,” Theo tells them. “Kira’s already playing the part of Bad Kira. So the rest of us just have to act like demons long enough for Bobby to come back with the badges. It can’t be too hard.”

Admittedly, it is a little harder than Theo was expecting. He was the worst sort of person on Earth, so it’s easy to get pulled into conversation of mocking people. Danny does okay for himself, and Scott manages to hold his own. Even Kira blends in pretty darn well. But Liam? His everything screams uncomfortable. 

Theo slips away from the demons he was talking to and joins Liam at the table he’s at. “Could you look any more uncomfortable?” he asks.

“Yes actually,” Liam hisses. “Because I am uncomfortable. I don’t know how to be rude and… well… like this.”

“You only have to hold out for a few more minutes dude,” Theo tells him. “Bobby should be here any minute.”

“Hey losers,” Bad Kira says, leaning against their table. “What is that shirt you’re wearing? Barf.” Kira winces and lowers her voice. “I’m so sorry. That really is a nice top, Liam.”

“Thank you?”

“It’s me,” Kira says. “The real Kira. Or well, the Kira you know. Not Bad Kira. Just me Kira being Bad Kira.”

“And you’re doing a wonderful job of it,” Theo tells her.

“Thanks,” Kira says. “I hate everything about this though.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure Bad Kiras are supposed to hate everything so that fits,” Liam says.

“It does,” Kira says. 

“There you guys are,” Bobby says, appearing next to them.

“Oh thank fork,” Theo mutters. “You made it.”

“I did,” Bobby says. “And I got the badges. So let’s…”

“And now,” a voice says from the front of the room. One that’s familiar but Theo can’t place why. “We celebrate the destruction of the neighborhood. And soon the endless torture of its four inhabitants.”

“Yeah when we find them, Stiles” a demon calls.

“We will,” the demon, Stiles, says. “Trust me. I have a very vested interest in finding them. Especially this one.” Theo gasps when his picture suddenly appears on a screen behind them. “My dear, Theo.”

“Why does that demon know you?” Liam hisses.

“I don’t know,” Theo mutters. “Probably from one of the reboots.”

“Oh, he definitely knows you from the first one,” Bobby says. “And it’s not good if he sees you.”

“We have to get out of here,” Kira says. “Some of these demons have seen your face.”

“Now let’s revel in the torture of the humans for a bit, shall we?” Stiles asks. 

To make things worse, a slideshow starts playing revealing not only Theo’s identity but Liam, Danny, and Scott’s as well. “Well, this isn’t good,” Theo says.

“Not one bit,” Bobby says. “Let’s try and slip away before they notice.”

They start inching their way along the wall towards the door when a voice cries out, “Wait a minute! I know that face! That’s Matt!”

“Matt?” another demon asks. “Who the heck is Matt?”

“Well, I thought he was one of us,” the first demon says. “But it’s that human. The one with the glasses.”

“Oh no,” Liam whispers. “They know it’s me.”

“There he is!” a demon cries, pointing at Liam. “There they all are!”

“Oh Theo,” Stiles says. “I knew I’d see you again.”

“Yeah no offense, dude, but I have no idea who the fork you are,” Theo says.

Stiles smirks, “Not now, you don’t. But soon you’ll know me very well.”

“I don’t like the way he’s looking at you,” Liam says.

“Yeah he looks like he wants to eat you,” Scott says.

“He probably does,” Bobby says. “Stiles is very fond of taste torture.”

“What the fork is taste torture?” Theo asks.

“You don’t want to know,” Bobby says.

“I have to say I’m disappointed but not surprised to see you with the humans, Bobby,” Stiles says, walking closer. “I dare say you were probably spending too much time with them. They’ve ruined you.”

“No, they’ve made me better,” Bobby says.

Stiles snorts, “If that’s what you want to call it.”

“It is.”

“No matter,” Stiles says. “Just hand them over now and maybe your own torture can be a little less painful.”

“I’m not letting you near them,” Bobby says.

“How are we getting out of here?” Theo asks.

“I know,” Scott says. “I have an idea.”

“Why am I afraid to know what that is?” Liam asks.

“Because it’s probably stupid and dangerous,” Danny comments.

“When I yell Molotov, run,” Scott says. 

“What?” Liam questions. “What do you…? Oh no.”

He backs away when Scott holds up a bottle of whiskey with a rag in it and a lighter. “Who the fork gave Scott a lighter?” 

“I did,” Kira shouts. She’s standing a few feet away, trying to hold off some demons from getting to them. “Do it now!”

“What about you?” Scott asks.

“I’ll be fine,” Kira says. “Just do it.”

Theo pushes Liam back when Scott flicks the lighter. He’s running off with Liam, Bobby, and Danny before Scott even has the bottle lit. He hears a crash and feels a wave of heat as Scott yells and tears off after them. 

“That was awesome!” Scott tries.

“Stupid and dangerous,” Liam says.

“But it gave us time,” Bobby says. He turns a corner and waves them forward. “This way.”

They reach a wall and Bobby hands Danny a badge as he opens the portal. “Here, Danny. You first.” Danny takes it and goes through, followed by Scott and Liam. Bobby pauses and looks down at his hands. 

“What is it?” Theo asks.

“I’m one short,” Bobby says.

“What? Can’t we get through together?”

“No, it doesn’t work that way,” Bobby says. He looks over his shoulder to where Peter and his demons are running towards them, before looking back at Theo with a sad smile. “I think I’ve finally solved the Trolley Problem.” 

He puts the badge in Theo’s hand and Theo shakes his head. “No.”

“Self-sacrifice solves it,” Bobby says.

Theo doesn’t get another argument out before Bobby shoves him backwards and he falls through the portal. The last thing he sees is Peter advancing on Bobby and then the portal closes behind him.

“Theo?” 

He turns to see Liam, Danny, and Scott in an otherwise empty room. 

“Where’s Bobby?” Danny asks.

Theo swallows past the sudden lump in his throat. “He didn’t have enough badges so he gave me his. He said that self-sacrifice solves the Trolley Problem.”

“Poor Bobby,” Danny says.

“He’ll be okay,” Liam says. “He’s smart. He’ll find his way out of there.”

“I hope you’re right,” Theo says. He looks around the room and frowns. “Where's the Judge?”

“I don’t know,” Liam says. “No one was here when we came in.”

“All that’s here is that slice of pizza,” Danny says.

“Do you think that’s the Judge?” Scott asks.

“Of course not,” Theo says. He steps closer and examines the pizza. It looks like a normal piece of pizza. “Maybe it’s a test.”

“A test?” Liam questions, stepping up next to him. “What sort of test?”

“For us. Like maybe one of us is supposed to eat it, or we eat it together, or maybe it’s a test to see how long we can go without eating it.”

“I’m not scared of any piece of pizza,” Scott says. “I’ll eat it.” He reaches out, then hesitates. “Are you sure it’s not the Judge?”

“Judges aren't food, judges are serious people who wear long, silk nightgowns and big, white powdered wigs,” Danny says.

Theo shrugs, “Eh. He could be right.”

“What? Really?”

“I don't know, I'm just saying we've certainly seen weirder things than an all-knowing pizza. We can't take any chances.” Theo leans down closer to the piece of pizza. “Hello, Your Excellency. My name is Theo Raeken. We doth seek thine judgment. We've traveled a long distance to see you, o great one.”

“What are you guys looking at?” They all scream and turn around to see a blonde woman in a black judge’s robe watching them. “Hi. I'm the Judge. That's a piece of pizza. What's up, guys?”

“You’re the Judge?” Theo asks.

“That’s me,” she says. She nods her head to the nameplate on the desk. “Judge Erica at your service. Now, what are you all doing here? I didn’t think I had any cases. The paperwork should've shown up by now. Unless you guys just, like, came here. Wait, did you guys just come here?” She gasps. “Oh, my God. You guys are bad. Which one is the worst one of you? Is it you, glasses? Oh, I bet it's you.”

“What?” Liam says. “No, of course not.”

“We did just come here, though,” Theo says. “We were escaping the Bad Place, which now that I think about it, there might be some demons following us.”

“Oh, don't worry about that,” Erica says. “Anytime anyone shows up in my chambers, the portal is sealed until I issue my ruling. So, you guys can relax. Get comfortable.”

A bunch of chairs appear in front of her desk, and they all hesitantly sit down, while she takes her seat across from them. “So, why are you running from Bad Place demons?”

“We don’t belong there,” Theo says. “This has all been a mistake.”

Okay then, let's have a look at your files.”

“Wait, you don't already know everything about us? You're not omniscient?” Theo asks.

“Well... Not in the way you mean,” Erica says. “I try to learn as little as I can about the events of humankind so I can remain impartial, because I'm a judge and all that. That being said, sometimes I get bored and I cheat a little bit. I've been binging the show Shadowhunters recently. It's okay. I love my girl, Isabel. She’s hot. And that Malec? Can’t those two just be happy already? Anyway, your petition is denied. I can't hear your case. Please exit to the rear.”

The portal opens behind them and a loud whooshing noise fills the room as it threatens to suck them back into it. Theo’s eyes widen and he reaches for the desk, trying to hold on. “What?”

I just absorbed the entirety of your existences, and I just wanna say you guys are so cute. And the thing is, you didn't file any paperwork, and you have no advocate, and the rules say I gotta send you back.”

“Your honor, please hear our case. You frankly wouldn't believe what we've been through just to be here today,” Danny pleads

“I mean, I would, because I just learned everything about you, but keep talking. I am, like, obsessed with your voice, Danny boy,” Erica winks.

“We have made so much progress and all we ask is an audience with you to prove it. Is that not your very purpose... to weigh in on matters such as ours?”

“You know what?” Erica says. “I really love your passion. And it does take a lot of guts to just show up here unannounced. Plus, I haven’t had a case in _years_ and I’m bored. There’s only so many shows you can binge watch when you’re immortal, you know?”

“So the case?” Theo asks.

Erica nods, “Right. Let’s do it.”

Theo lets out a sigh of relief, that’s mirrored by his friends. She’s going to hear them out. They’re one step towards escaping the Bad Place.

“So what do we have to do?”

“Well, I’m going to give each of you a test to see how much progress you’ve made,” Erica says. “If you pass and I deem you fit to be in the Good Place then up you go. Well, actually it’s more to the side. But you know what I mean.”

“Can we be tested as a group?” Theo asks.

“I’m sorry cuties, but the tests have to be individual,” Erica says. 

“Well, can we be graded as a group then? The only reason we've come this far is because we've helped each other. And I don't think anything's gonna feel like the Good Place if we're not together.”

“So if you all pass, you’re in,” Erica says. “And if even one of you fails, you’re all effed, right? That seems like a terrible idea. Truly awful. You are very lucky that I cannot send you to the Bad Idea place, because that one is a stinker. But if that’s what you all want…”

Theo looks to the others, who nod. “It is.”

“Well then, let’s get this show on the road.”

She snaps her fingers and Theo finds himself alone in her office. Weird. This isn’t exactly what he imagined his test would be. Except he turns his head, and Liam is sitting next to him.

“Where did you come from?”

“What are you talking about?” Liam smiles. “I’ve been here the whole time.”

“No you… I was alone,” Theo says. He shakes his head. “But whatever, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Liam says. “I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.”

“You would have,” Theo says. “You’re a good person, Liam.”

“You both are,” Erica says, appearing in front of them. “And congratulations, you two, you made it!”

“What?” Theo asks. “What about the test?”

She waves her hand, “There is no test! You’ve both proved yourself to be great people, well deserving of the Good Place. So you’re in!” She hands over two medallions. “Take these medallions and go through the portal and you're there in a jiff.”

Theo looks at Liam and grins, “We made it!”

“We made it!” Liam echoes. 

“We made it!” They both shout and hug each other tightly. 

“Holy crap!” Theo laughs and pulls back. “All those ethics lessons paid off. Whoever said philosophy was stupid?”

“You did, many times,” Liam says. “As recently as this morning. But you also worked really hard and you deserve this.”

“You really do,” Erica says. “Here’s the thing, though. It’s just you two. Scott and Danny didn’t make it. I’m giving them tests right now to determine where they belong in the Bad Place. So you really might want to reconsider that judge us together thing, because if you stick to that, you’re all going down.”

“Okay, obviously this is a test, right?” Theo says. “I bet Danny and Scott have been given the same offer and whichever couple takes it actually loses and the other two get in for real.”

“Oh, that’s diabolical,” Liam says.

“Hey, Judge,” Theo says. “We figured out what you’re really…”

“Nope,” Erica says. “Scott and Danny have not been given the same offer. Here look.” She waves her hand and Danny and Scott appear on screen. “Danny has to walk down the hallway and not get tempted by his gossiping friends. And Scott is playing video games.”

“Okay, so what do we do?” Theo asks.

Liam grimaces and Theo groans. “Oh no, that’s your moral quandary grimace. I hate that grimace.”

“Well, if this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse,” Liam says.

“What?”

“A choice we have to make,” Liam says.

Theo winces. He knows how much Liam hates choices. “Yeah, you know, why can’t just one part of the calculation of our eternal fate be easy?”

“I don’t know,” Liam sighs. “Because maybe then it wouldn’t be worth it?”

“I think it would be if it meant we weren’t spending an eternity being tortured.”

“Maybe,” Liam says.

“Alright, Liam, I need you to hit me right now with your most obscure, boring-est, old white dude with a long wizard beard mumbo-jumbo so we can figure this out.”

Liam is silent for a moment. Theo waits, hoping whatever he comes up with will help them figure this impossible dilemma out. “Okay, our friends are going to the Bad Place, and us choosing to go with them won't lessen their suffering. So, morally, we're allowed to go. But let's forget about the ethics for a second. After everything that's happened, don't we deserve to be together and happy for once?”

And yeah, they do. They definitely do. Theo would like nothing more than to go off with Liam to the Good Place and be happy. But he knows that’s not what’s going to happen here. Because he’s figured it out for himself.

“Judge?”

“Have you made your decision?” Erica asks him.

“Yeah,” Theo says. He glances at Liam before looking back at Erica. “We’re not going to the Good Place. I mean, that was never actually an option, but for the sake of your test, we're not going.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was 98% sure that going was the wrong move, but since our whole relationship has been me being sure of something and Liam explaining why I was wrong, I owed it to him to quadruple check. The capper came when I realized... that isn’t Liam. The Liam I know wouldn't argue that he should be rewarded while his friends got punished, and he would never ‘forget about ethics for a second.’ I don't know who this joker is, but it's not Liam Dunbar.”

“Well done, Theo,” Erica says. “You can sit here and wait for the others. And can I have my medallion back? It’s actually a coaster for my sodas.”

“Sure.” Theo hands it over. “Where is the real Liam though?”

“Oh, he’s still taking his test,” Erica says. 

An image of Liam appears on screen as he looks between hats laid out on a table. He looks distressed as he mutters to himself about which color to choose. Of course Liam’s test would be about making a choice.

Theo sits there while Erica gathers the rest of the group into the room. “All right,” she says, once they’re all standing there. “Fun stuff.”

“Yeah,” Scott says.

“Yeah?” Erica asks. “Feeling good?”

“Very,” Danny says.

“I think so, yes,” Liam says.

“Great,” Erica says. “You’re all going to the Bad Place.”

“Okay, um if I was the one that failed, could you at least tell me why I failed? For my own education?” Liam asks.

“It took you minutes to choose a hat, Liam.”

“But did I choose the right one at least?” Liam asks.

“There is no right one,” Erica tells him. “They’re hats. Come on, dude.”

“Danny, you skipped a lot of rooms that I thought would entice you, but you weren't supposed to open any doors, and you couldn't resist confronting your parents.”

“Sorry, everyone,” Danny says. “But now that I failed, can I go back in and talk to Winston Churchill and Freddie Mercury?”

“No.” Erica turns to Scott. “Scott, your test was about impulse control, and you showed great improvements, but you never asked if you could opt not to play. I mean, you basically told me, an all-knowing judge, to just shut up and go away. Do you realize how insane that is?”

“Not as insane as…”

“Theo,” Erica cuts in. “His test was about his selfishness, and he actually…”

“I failed,” Theo interrupts, earning an eyebrow raise from Erica. “I shoved an old lady down the stairs to get to the all-you-can-eat pizza bar, 'cause I'm a pizza fiend. So, we all failed, let's not dwell on it.”

“I am going to miss you guys,” Erica says. “I made a little video of our time together.”

_ Wind Beneath My Wings  _ starts playing as a slideshow appears on the wall, and a portal opens behind them.

“We gave it our best shot guys,” Scott says. “I say we go through the portal, get a good night's sleep, and come back fresh in the morning. Try again.”

“Oh, Scott. I feel like you always understand about 0% of what's happening,” Theo says.

Scott grins. “Thanks.”

“Sure.” Theo sighs and looks around at his friends. “Alright, off to eternal damnation I guess.” He frowns when he hears the sound of faint yelling nearby. “Do you guys hear something?”

They all jump when Bobby and Kira suddenly appear in front of them. Bobby smiles. “Oh, hey guys!”

“Bobby? Kira?”

“Hey, how have you guys been?” Bobby asks.

“Oh, you know, just failed our tests and now we’re about to be sent to a lifetime of torture,” Theo says. “What about you?”

“Oh, well, I was about to be imprisoned forever, but then Kira posed as Bad Kira and helped break me out,” Bobby says. “And now I’m here to help you guys out.”

“Unfortunately that’s not possible,” Erica says. “They all failed their tests and now they’re being sent to the Bad Place.”

“Actually, I’d like to talk to you,” Bobby says. The premise of our system is that a person's score during her time on Earth is final and inarguable, but because of my accidental experiment, these four humans got better after they died. That's not supposed to be possible. Over and over again, I watched as they became thoughtful and generous and caring. And think about where they started.”

“So they got better in your little pretend world. That doesn't prove anything about what they were like on Earth,” Erica says.

“No, see, I think it does prove something,” Bobby argues. “If I'm right, the system by which we judge humans... the very method we use to deem them good or bad... is so fundamentally flawed and unreasonable that hundreds of millions of people have been wrongly condemned to an eternity of torture.”

“Damn,” Erica says. “That was intense. Look at my arm, you guys. I got goosebumps. That rarely happens.”

“Maybe we should let them talk,” Theo says.

The others nod and they slip to the other side of the room.

“Hi, Scott,” Kira says. “I love you.”

“Oh, word?” Scott says.

Kira smiles. “Word. I've been avoiding telling you. My excuse was that I needed time to evaluate my complex feelings, but that was just a rationalization. This might be the last time I ever get to talk to you, so there it is... I love you.”

“Hey guess what? I love you too, girl.”

“Not a girl,” Kira says. “Though I’m not really just a Kira anymore. I don’t know what I am.”

“We can figure that out together,” Scott says.

“Well, that’s sweet. What do you…?” Theo doesn’t get to say anything else because the next moment Liam is taking his face in his hands and kissing him. Everything else falls away. The only thing Theo can focus on is Liam. Liam is kissing him. After all this time, it’s finally happening, and Liam isn’t freaking out and running away. He seems so sure as he kisses him, and Theo is helpless. He melts into it, smiling into the kiss.

“Hot diggity dog,” Theo says. His eyes widen. “Oh, no! Now the thing I said right after we kissed will always be ‘hot diggity dog.’” They both laugh, and god, Liam is looking at him so softly, Theo’s chest aches. “Whatever. It was an honest reaction. I stand by it.”

“Hot diggity dog indeed,” Liam says. He kisses him again and Theo grins.

“Hi, guys,” Erica says, drawing their attention back to her and Bobby. “We have an announcement.”

“What’s up?” Theo asks.

“We figured out a plan to save your souls,” Bobby says. “For the time being, the Judge is going to put you all in your own medium places like Jackson Whittemore, and while you’re there I’m going to keep working every angle I can think of to get you guys into the Good Place. For real.”

“This is great,” Theo says. “So we’ll all be together.”

“Oh no,” Erica says. “That’s not happening. You see, medium places are all tailored to what’s medium for the individual. So if you’re all together then that’s not exactly medium.”

“How long will we be alone?” Liam asks.

“Hard to say,” Erica says. “Could be a month, could be a million years.”

“So between a month and a million years,” Theo says.

“Yeah, give or take,” Erica shrugs. 

“Seriously?”

“Somewhere in there,” she says. “Come on guys, I know this isn’t perfect, but I need more time to build my case, and it’s either this or back to the Bad Place.”

“Yeah, I'll say it. Both those options suck,” Theo says. “Okay, I'm sorry if that's blunt, Your Honor, but it's true. Also, Liam just laid one on me, so I'm kinda dizzy.” 

He smiles at Liam who returns the smile, and reaches out and laces their fingers together.

“You two kissed?” Erica asks. “Hot diggity dog!”

“That’s what I said!” Theo says. “The point is, we’ve all gotten better. Why should we have to go live alone for a million years just because of a messed up system. How is that justice?”

“Okay, slow your roll there Erin Brockovich,” Erica says. “First, you guys didn’t get good enough to pass the tests I gave you.” She gives Theo a pointed look here. “Second, I still believe that the only reason that you improved in Bobby’s fake neighborhood is because you thought there was a reward at the end of the rainbow.”

“That’s not true,” Theo says.

“Yeah, but how do I know that?” Erica asks. “You're supposed to do good things because you're good! Not because you're seeking moral desert.”

“I still believe they would have become good people if they’d just gotten a push,” Bobby says, a slow grin spreading across his face. “In the right direction.”

Erica stares at him for a moment, “Oh, no. Nope. Absolutely not.”

“It’s a little crazy,” Bobby says.

“A little bit crazy? It’s Looney Tunes.”

“What are they talking about?” Liam asks.

“No idea,” Theo says. He knows something is about to happen. Something that could once again change things for them forever. He turns to Liam and kisses him, whispering against his lips. “Whatever happens, I’ll find you. Always.”

Liam smiles and caresses his cheek, “I will too.”

“It sets a very dangerous precedent,” Erica is saying when Theo tunes back in.

“It’s only four people,” Bobby argues. “And it's clearly the best way to see if bad people can become good without knowing anything about what's waiting for them in the afterlife.”

“It’s never gonna work,” Erica says.

“If it doesn’t work, then they go right back to the Bad Place,” Bobby says. Theo doesn’t really like that idea. Whatever it is they’re talking about. “No one gets hurt. Except them, forever. And me, I assume, also forever.”

Erica is silent for a moment before she sighs, “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Yes!” Bobby shouts, doing a little dance. “Ha!”

“I don’t know why,” Erica says. “But I’m feeling a little funky. But there have to be strict rules.”

“Of course.”

“Otherwise, the results will be tainted, and I reserve the right to change my mind - at any point.”

“About what?” Theo yells. “Would someone who is not an eternal being please explain to me what the fork...”

Erica snaps her fingers and everything falls away.


	11. Chapter 11

“Why are you like this?” Some random dude shouts.

Theo scoffs, “Excuse me? Why am I like this? You don’t know me, dude. You don’t know what I’m like.” He sighs when he drops his cookies and goes to reach for them. “Look what you made me do, jagoff!”

“Look out!”

Theo turns in time to see a bunch of carts heading right for him. “Uh oh.”

He stands frozen, unable to move, watching as the carts come closer and closer. The cookies drop from his hands. Suddenly someone barrels into him, knocking him out of the way. He watches in horror as the carts get demolished by a truck. 

All he can think as he lays there is that the carts could have been him. He could have been the one smashed against the concrete. He could have died. 

The next few weeks he finds himself in a funk. He listens as his friends talk, one of them comparing his near death experience to something they experienced that isn’t even close. Their talk seems so trivial now. There’s this voice in his head that’s telling him this isn’t important. That there are better things he could be doing with his time than drinking his life away and working for a corrupt company.

So he quits his job. 

It’s surprisingly easy, even knowing he doesn’t have anything to fall back on. Surely there are other places to work. Places that won’t make him feel so guilty. 

And speaking of guilt…

“I love you, guys,” his friend Josh says. “You two are the only ones who stuck by with that mess last year with the suit and the shirts. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Right. The suit and the shirts. The things that had been Theo’s fault. “Yeah about that. There’s something you should know.”

“No, there’s not,” Tracy says. “There is absolutely nothing he needs to know.”

“There is though,” Theo says. “You see, I ruined your suit and blamed it on the dry cleaners. And then Tracy and I made the shirts and sort of made the whole thing go viral. I’m sorry.”

“Wow,” Josh says. “That must have taken a lot for you to admit it.”

“It did,” Theo says.

“And you must be feeling so bad to have to admit it now,” Josh continues. “I can’t imagine how horrible you must be feeling. Oh wait, I can. Considering I was the one that was humiliated.”

“Josh…”

“Apology not accepted,” Josh says. “And you two? Yeah, you can both move out. Today.”

“Josh, come on…”

“Out!”

As Theo sits there on the curb next to Tracy half an hour later, with their things in garbage bags in front of them. “I still feel like we did the right thing here.”

“Oh, I’m so glad,” Tracy says. “Because now we’re both homeless, and you don’t even have a job, Theo.”

“I’ll find one,” Theo tells her. “And we’ll find a place.”

“If you say so.”

They do eventually find an apartment after spending a week couch surfing. It’s not the best place, but it’s theirs and they have a roof over their head and running water so Theo counts it as a win. 

He still needs a job though, which isn’t as easy to come by. At least not until he’s at the grocery store and sees the environmentalist he’d been arguing with weeks before just shortly before he almost died. He takes this as another opportunity and approaches the man.

“Hey,” Theo says, walking up to him. “Remember me?”

The man flinches back and holds his papers to his chest. “Don’t hurt me.”

Theo’s brow furrows. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just wanted to apologize. So there. I’ve done it.”

“That’s not an apology,” the man says.

“Sure it is.”

“It’s really not.”

Theo sighs, “You’re right. It’s not. Look, I’m sorry for all the times I’ve been terrible to you. Which I know was a lot. I was a jerk, but I’m trying to be better now. So, I’m sorry.”

The man looks at him for a moment, before nodding. “Apology accepted.”

“What’s your name?” Theo asks him.

“Jordan,” he says.

Theo holds out his hand, which Jordan reluctantly shakes. “Hey, Jordan. I’m Theo. Now, do you need some help?”

“You want to help?” Jordan asks, clearly skeptical. “I thought you hated all this environmental stuff.”

“I’m turning over a new leaf,” Theo says. “Almost dying has given me a new perspective. So, what do you say? You have room for me on your team?”

Jordan nods, “I think we can find a place.”

It’s not exactly where Theo thought he would wind up. In fact, if someone would have told him a few months ago he’d been working for some environmental charity he probably would have laughed and told them to get lost. 

But here he is, going to meetings and handing out fliers. Doing good. Helping people. Helping the environment. It makes him feel good. Mostly. He does it all for six months. Six months of staying on the right path. His parents should be proud.

He snorts. Right. Like that would happen. His dad is dead and his mom is probably off somewhere drinking herself to death. Proud. She probably doesn’t even remember she has a son.

Tara would be proud though. Wherever she is. He hopes it’s someplace good. It’s at least what she deserves.

He finishes up his salad and throws his trash away before heading outside to his car. He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice the car parked behind him. Not until he hits it. What the…? He groans and puts his head on the steering wheel. Of course this would happen to him.

He’s doing good things and then the world has to turn around and bite him.

There’s no one in the car, luckily. But still, he finds himself being sued. Sued. The woman had left her car parked directly behind him and had the nerve to sue him.

“I can’t believe they’re suing you,” Tracy says one night over dinner. 

“This chick is claiming she got whiplash,” Theo says, throwing the papers down on the table. “She wasn’t even in the car when I hit it!”

“This is on you,” Tracy says. “You should have just pretended you didn’t see it and drove away, like everyone else does.”

“I know!” Theo says. “I’ve hit your car like six times and never said anything. But I’m trying to be good now.”

Tracy snickers, “How is that working out for you?”

It’s not. It’s not working out one darn bit. He’s being good and bad things just keep happening. All his kindness has done is left him open for mistreatment by others.

So he stops. He doesn’t go to work with the environmentalists anymore and instead goes to work with Tracy. It’s a sleazy job screwing people over again, and isn’t exactly on the books, it pays better. And he can’t get hurt this way. It all works out.

A knock sounds on his door one day a month later.

“It’s open dummy,” he calls from the couch. 

“Theo, where have you been?” Jordan asks, stepping into the living room.

“Oh, hey man,” Theo says. “Sorry, it’s been like a crazy month. You know, moving was a hassle, and I’m in the middle of a lawsuit, and I ate vegetables for the first time and I got diarrhea for like a week.”

“Uh, I know we don’t pay a lot, but this is still a job, and we need to know we can count on you. We’re meeting tonight to discuss long-term strategy for the organization. Will you be there?”

“I really think…”

“Dude dude dude,” Tracy says, running into the room. “Oh, sorry to interrupt whatever boring crap this is, but dude, you need to get dressed. I got tickets to Taylor Splift. The Taylor Swift reggae cover band. They're terrible. It's gonna be amazing.”

“Hmm, that sounds like more fun, so I’m gonna do that,” Theo says.

Jordan sighs, “Theo…”

“What? What dude? I've been nothing but good for, like, six months, and all I have to show for it is this crummy apartment, a lawsuit, a loose caboose, and an overdrawn bank account. Being good is for suckers. What do you even get out of it?”

“A feeling of fulfillment for your soul,” Jordan says. 

Theo wrinkles his nose, “Gross. That’s the grossest sentence I’ve ever heard, okay? I quit.”

“Seriously, Theo?” Jordan says. “You’re giving up? Just like that?”

“What can I say?” Theo says. “Maybe being good just isn’t in my cards.”

The words feel wrong, but he ignores the feeling. It’s always been easier to take the low road. That’s what his parents taught him, after all. He’d fought so hard to not wind up like them, and yet here he is. Drinking his life away, throwing away every good thing he’d worked hard for. For what? Nothing. That’s what his life is. That’s what he is. He might as well accept it. 

He finds himself alone at a bar a few weeks later. Tracy was supposed to come out but wound up ditching him for her ex-girlfriend. Not that he can blame her. Getting laid is probably better than spending time with him anyway. 

“Hey, bartender,” Theo says. “One alcoholic drink, please. It’s my birthday if you want to give it to me for free.” He chuckles. “I always say that, but it’s not actually my birthday.”

“Hmm.” The bartender pours him a drink and slides it over to him. Theo can’t place why he looks familiar. He’s a little older with unruly dark hair, and his eyes have a slightly crazy look to them. But not a bad crazy. A good crazy. Is there a good crazy? Theo doesn’t know. But he feels like he can trust him. 

“What’s your name?” Theo asks him.

“Is that important?” 

“I don’t know,” Theo says. “I feel like if I’m about to tell you my life story, I should know who I’m telling it to.”

“Bob,” the man says. “But you can call me Bobby.”

“Okay, _Bobby_.” Theo takes a long pull of his drink before looking back at Bobby. “You know, last year on my birthday I almost died. And then I did a bunch of stuff that was good, but weird, and then I stopped, and now I’m here with you.”

“Sounds like you had a pretty crazy year,” Bobby says.

Theo nods and takes another drink, “I did.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Bobby asks.

“I guess so,” Theo says. “You know what the problem is with being a do-gooder?”

“What’s that?”

“No one cares,” Theo says. “I mean, some people care a little. The twerpy little twerps from the environmental place, they care, but I was a good person for six months. That's like five years, and it felt okay, but not as good as I thought it would. And what did I get for it?”

“Ah, I see, now you’re talking about moral desert,” Bobby says.

“Exactly,” Theo says. “Wait, am I? What?”

“Moral desert is the concept that if you act with virtue, you deserve a reward.”

“Right. If I'm not gonna get rewarded somehow, then why should I do good things?” Theo asks.

“You know, I had a friend that said whenever he was doing something bad, he'd hear this... this little voice in his head, distant little voice, saying, ‘Oh, come on now. You know this is wrong.’ And then when he started doing good things, that voice went away. It was a relief.”

“Your friend sounds like he's one pick short of a... pickle party,” Theo laughs.

“He was a little rough around the edges, but he was a good person, when he tried.” Bobby smiles fondly. “See, I think that little voice was his conscience, trying to guide him in the right direction.”

Theo finishes his drink. He doesn’t want to admit that he gets what Bobby is saying. He’s heard that little voice. A lot. Every time he’s done something bad, the voice is being there telling him it’s wrong. He knows it. But it’s not that easy to ignore. Not when he has a lifetime of bad habits ingrained in him.

“I gotta go,” Theo says. “What do I owe you?”

“The real question, Theo, is what do we owe each other?”

“What?” Theo frowns. “Did I sell you a drink? Am I a bartender?”

Bobby chuckles and hands him a slip of paper. “Drinks are on me. Good luck.”

Theo shoves the paper into his pocket and forgets about it. He passes out once he gets home and his pants lay in the dirty clothes pile for days.

It’s not until he’s searching for his ID that he finds the paper in his pocket. There’s a name written on it, and the same phrase the bartender had said to him.

 _Liam Dunbar - What do we owe each other_?

Strange. 

Theo’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself typing the name and quote into google. A video comes up and Theo clicks on it. A man appears on screen. He’s standing in what looks like a lecture hall, wearing a pair of slacks and a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. A pair of thick rimmed glasses sit perched on his nose. There’s something familiar about him, but Theo can’t place why. He introduces himself as Professor Liam Dunbar.

“What do we owe each other?” Liam asks. “That is the question Tim Scanlon asked decades ago, and it is a question I will try to answer over the next three hours.”

“Ugh,” Theo says. “No, thanks.”

He’s about to exit out of the video when Liam keeps speaking, and Theo finds himself enthralled in his words.

“We all have a voice in our head. That voice doesn't tell us what to do or not do, but it does warn us when we do things that don't feel good or right. The difference between them… Now the term ‘reasonable,’ what does it mean to be a reasonable person? I may have a different definition of reasonable than you do. Than the person next to you does. So why do it then? Why choose to be good every day if there is no guaranteed reward we can count on, now or in the afterlife? I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people. Simply put, we are not in this alone.”

Huh. We are not alone. Theo’s spent most of his life feeling alone, even when surrounded by people. Some people who are supposed to be his friends. And yet, listening to this Liam speak, he doesn’t feel alone. 

Tracy comes home a few hours later and Theo is still on his laptop. He’s spent hours here, watching first the three hour long lecture, and then any others he could find. 

Tracy tries to get him to go out, but Theo shakes his head. 

“No, thanks,” he says, a sudden, impulsive idea forming in his head. “I’m going somewhere else.”

That’s how he finds himself packing a bag as fast as he can and buying a ticket on the next plane to Australia. It’s crazy. He knows it is. But he can’t get Liam’s words out of his head. He needs to talk to him. He needs to understand better what he means. Maybe talking with him can help. If anyone can help him be a good person, it’s him. He knows it.

So he takes a taxi to St. John’s University, where he knows Liam teaches, and walks the campus, until he’s standing outside the office door. He knocks. 

“Hi.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the man says, his back to Theo. “Office hours are on Tuesday.”

He turns to face him, and Theo feels his breath catch for a moment when he meets his eyes. Blue eyes. The bluest eyes he’s ever seen. Theo has to snap himself out of those thoughts before they derail him.

“Oh, I’m not a student,” Theo says, stepping into the room. “Are you Liam Dunbar? From the long, nerdy video about the little voice that tells you to be good?”

“From the Cassat Foundation lecture series on the practical applications of ethical theory,” Liam says. “Yes, I am.”

“Great,” Theo says. His heart is pounding in his chest, his palms sweating with a nervousness he’s not familiar with. This moment feels big for some reason. Standing here with this stranger, after spending hours on a flight. “My name is Theo Raeken. Can we talk?”

Liam smiles and gestures to the seat across from him, “Sure, come on in.”

Theo steps in and closes the door behind him. “So about that video…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and going on this trip with me. I'd love to know what everyone thinks. Kudos are wonderful and comments give me life 💜  
> You can find me [here on tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)  
> And don't forget to go check out the amazing art Cai did for this fic [here.](https://theowhy.tumblr.com/post/634724909303709696/im-so-excited-to-share-my-pieces-for) It's incredible and I'm still in awe of it.


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